


It Don't Come Easy

by OzQueen



Series: It Don't Come Easy [2]
Category: Captain Planet and the Planeteers
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Death, Drugs, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, Relationship(s), Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-30
Updated: 2010-09-03
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:38:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 77,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OzQueen/pseuds/OzQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things just don't work without all the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to "Give Up The Fight" - you need to read that first to understand this one.
> 
> This is the prologue chapter, and I hope you stick with me and trust me enough to explain these glimpses into the Planeteers' lives in future chapters...
> 
> The title is taken from a Patty Griffin song "When It Don't Come Easy" - I spent a long time trying to figure out the title for this, and then this song came on my iPod the other night and I know it had to come from these lyrics :)
> 
> This fic contains adult themes and coarse language.
> 
> This chapter details the years after the Planeteers leave Hope Island - the next chapter will move into the "present" and we'll follow two of the Planeteers very closely for quite a while...

**TWO YEARS**

Wheeler trembled and leaned against the pay phone, listening to his breath, ragged and uneven as the call tried to connect.

"Shit," he sobbed, hearing the all-too-familiar error tone coming through the receiver. He hung up and dropped another coin into the slot, trying to juggle the receiver and his notebook in one hand and dial with the other. He couldn't see straight and he had to run his fingers over the keypad to make sure he was hitting the right buttons. He had lost count of the misdialled numbers and the error tones he had listened to over the past hour.

His legs wanted to collapse beneath him, and he was sweating profusely. He could see people glancing worriedly at him as they hurried past.

It took him a moment to realise he'd connected through to someone and a groggy voice was speaking to him.

"Is Gi there?" he asked desperately. His mouth was dry and he wanted to retch.

"Wheeler? Is that you?"

"Gi," he breathed, closing his eyes in relief. "Gi, I need help."

"What's wrong? What's happened? Where are you?" She sounded frantic.

"I need help," he croaked again. _Gaia told me to call if I needed help, and I need help now. Help me, please help me._

"Okay," she said gently. "I'll help you; I promise. Tell me what's wrong."

"I've done stupid things," he said, tears running down his face. "Gi, I've been so stupid. I need help, please."

"I'm coming on the next flight, okay?" she said.

He could hear her moving about, opening drawers and slamming closet doors.

"I need you to do me a favour," she said.

His legs trembled beneath him. "I don't think I can," he admitted. His breath caught in his throat and he was nearly sick. He clutched the receiver tightly. He was sweating and it was hard to keep a grip.

"I need you to get into bed and wait for me," she said gently. "It's going to take me a while to arrive, okay? Even if I get on a flight immediately, I won't be there until tomorrow."

"I know," he croaked.

"So can you stay put and wait for me?"

He leaned his head against the glass of the phone booth, feeling faint. "I guess so," he whispered.

"Just get to bed and wait for me and I'll be there as fast as I can," she promised. "Don't move, okay? I'm coming. Don't worry."

"Okay." He stood rock-still, his eyes closed, listening to her hurry around the room and pack her things. He was too tired and sick to feel guilty about waking her or asking her to come to him. He was desperate and afraid, and too ashamed of what he'd done previously to feel anything of such a request.

"Are you still there?" she asked after a moment.

"Uh-huh..."

"Okay. Promise me you're going to hang up and go straight to bed, okay, Wheeler?"

"Okay," he answered. "I'm sorry, Gi."

"No, it's okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just – wait for me, okay? Whatever you've done, Wheeler, it'll be okay. Just stay at home and wait for me."

"Okay," he whispered. "I'll wait for you."

"Good. I love you and I'll be there soon."

He hung up and sank to the ground. He felt too tired to get up again. He huddled there with his arms hugging his knees, and he sobbed and hated himself and what he'd become.

He wiped his eyes and looked up. He was confused to see it had grown dark. He didn't think he'd been sitting there that long – but then, what the hell did he know? Time meant absolutely nothing. It had run past him, the past two years, trampling him and beating him down. Time was too difficult to deal with.

He struggled to his feet and staggered into the street, bowing his head and trying to walk straight and fast towards his apartment. He wondered if Trish had been by again. Her visits were few and far between now. He couldn't blame her for giving up on him eventually.

His apartment door loomed up at him and he was grateful that his feet had somehow known where they were taking him, because his mind sure as hell didn't. He pushed the door open and sank into the couch, huddling there in a cold sweat, groaning softly. He didn't think he was going to make it. Gi was going to arrive too late, or she'd come but he'd be gone, handing his last crumpled banknotes over to Anthony and begging him to take pity on him and let it be enough for one last dose. It was always one last dose.

He slept fitfully, waking often. He vomited and sobbed, clutching his stomach as cramps wracked his body. He fixed his eyes upon the ceiling and willed himself to lie still and just wait. If he got up and left he knew he had no chance of making it back to the person he wanted to be.

When Gi walked in her looked at her, dazed, unsure if it could really be her.

"I just called you a few hours ago," he croaked.

"Oh, look at you," she said, bursting into tears. She knelt by him and put her hand across his forehead. "It was a day and a half ago, Wheeler."

He closed his eyes, shivering. "Okay."

"What is it?" she asked, taking her jacket off and draping it across him.

"Heroin," he admitted.

"When did you last take any?" she asked, casting her eye around his apartment.

"I don't know. A long time ago." It felt like a long time. But then, his concept of time appeared to be utterly destroyed.

"Before or after you called me?" she asked.

"Before."

She kissed his forehead and her touch burned on his skin. "You'll be okay now," she whispered. "I'm here to help you, okay?"

"Okay," he breathed. He reached for her hand and she took it. "It's been too hard, Gi."

"I know," she answered gently. "But it'll get better. I'm here now, okay?"

"Don't go away," he requested.

"I'm not going anywhere." She sat next to him and stroked his hair and he shivered and shook against her, knowing that he was going to need more than Gi to get through everything, but knowing that she'd be the one to give him the courage he needed.

xXx

**FIVE YEARS**

Ma-Ti leaned back in his chair, listening to it creak against the new strain of his weight. His eyes were sore and his back hurt from sitting down all day. Sitting in an office under the glare of florescent lighting and computer screens obviously did not agree with him.

He sighed and toyed with his pen. The cold, hard truth was, nobody would listen to someone trying to save a rainforest unless they worked in an office with a giant carbon footprint. It was a ridiculous irony, and he hated it and he hated what he'd had to become in order to stand up for what he loved.

Still – he had been making progress. His new promotion offered him even more hope. People _were_ starting to listen to him. He had every appearance of a good education and a solid understanding of environmental and economical issues. He was good with people and there was something quiet and calm and reassuring about him. People instantly trusted Ma-Ti.

He rubbed his eyes and stood up, stretching tiredly. It had been a long day, but a good one. He went to the window of his office, gazing out at the traffic below him. It was late, but the streets were still grid-locked. He sighed and pulled his jacket on slowly. He was tired, but the effort had been worth it. They had achieved an important win, today – securing another section of the rainforest as under protection. Yet another place on the map to point at and know that it would still be there, green and lush, years later. He smiled to himself.

He took up his keys and glanced around the office, making sure he'd forgotten nothing. He shut everything down and took the stairs down to the street, liking the feel of the warm night on his face as he strolled home.

He lived in a quiet part of town, hidden away from the traffic but still within an easy walk of his office building. His rented house was clean and small, with a tiny yard he used to grow herbs and vegetables. He breathed deeply as he moved past the front gate, enjoying the sweet smell of ripe tomatoes and mint.

He scooped up his mail and sorted it thoughtfully as he moved through the house, opening windows to let the breeze in. He hit the button on his answering machine and opened his water bill as the machine whirred and started playing the first message.

"Hey Ma-Ti!" Gi's voice burst from the machine, loud and excited. "Thanks for the card, we got it today. You're coming to the wedding, right? We haven't set a date yet but Jin and I really want you there." There was a pause. "I don't suppose there's anything new with Linka? I've tried all her old numbers again but none of them are working. Wheeler doesn't know either, but it's not for lack of trying. I passed on your message but he still seems kinda reluctant to get in touch again. It's nothing to do with you, I'm sure, it's just that he went through so much when he got back –"

Ma-Ti smiled when the machine cut her off. She was forever interrupted by the short message time, and usually had to leave two or three messages on his machine in order to get her point across.

The second message started with a grumpy sigh. "Can't you get a machine that has a longer record time? Anyway, thank you for the card. And Jin and I want to invite you to the wedding." There was another pause. "And the other Planeteers, too. Or do you think it'll be too much? I don't know how Wheeler will feel about it, and I'm not sure if Kwame will be able to come. I haven't spoken to Linka since we left Hope Island." She sighed. "Miss you. Call me back when you can? Love you. Jin says hi."

He smiled and glanced at the clock. He'd give it another hour before he called her. He sank onto the couch with a sigh. Gi had been the only one to really keep in regular contact. He had tried with the others – Kwame was always warm and ready to talk to him, but he was busy, throwing himself into work and his new marriage. Wheeler had never returned his calls, and Linka's calls had never even connected through – always ending in an error tone.

Gi had desperately tried to reunite everyone through phone calls and letters, but the net was patchy and there were too many holes. Contact fell through and the gap between them all seemed to grow wider and wider.

Even without his Planeteer ring, he had been able to feel them during the first year apart – hovering on the periphery of his mind. He had felt the moment Kwame had met Makena. He had felt the moment Gi had received her first job offer. He had felt the moment Wheeler had hit rock bottom and injected himself with drugs. He had felt the moment Linka had chosen to follow Viktor.

But as the years kept sliding by, his connection to them lessened. He tried to reach Gaia now and then, just to see if he could, but he thought the only responses he was getting were ones he made up himself. That part of his life was over, now.

He glanced around his tiny home. He liked it well enough, but he missed Hope Island. He would always miss Hope Island. He missed the freedom he'd had then, and the work he'd done. He _hated_ sitting in an office for five or six days a week, arguing on the telephone and trying to convince people he knew better than they did when he came to rainforest protection. Without his friends, the Planeteers, behind him, it seemed so much more difficult.

He stretched out on the sofa and gazed up at the ceiling, waiting out the hour until he tried to phone Gi. His conversations with her were becoming wonderfully regular, breaking the horrific monotony he had found himself wallowing in lately. He decided to make more of an effort with Kwame too.

He didn't think Wheeler was going to become more responsive anytime soon. The former Fire Planeteer was still too caught up in his previous errors and shame, though none of it mattered to Ma-Ti. He missed and loved them all, and he longed for a day where they could all talk again.

He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, feeling tired. That day seemed like a long way away, and he had started doubting its occurrence altogether.

xXx

**SEVEN YEARS**

Kwame gazed down at the dusty earth in front of him. It was hard, and baked dry. The small heap in front of him was crumbly and broken. If he bent and scooped it up in his palm, the dirt would mist away to dust and sift back down to the ground.

There was not a breath of wind. The sun beat down on him. His shadow was small and thick around his feet. The crowd had drifted away and he was there alone. Almost.

Makena stood beside him, silent and tall. Out of the corner of his eye he could see clean tracks on her face, made by her tears rolling down her dark, dusty skin. He reached for her hand but she kept her arms tucked tightly against her chest. She turned away from him slightly and his hand dropped.

He moved his eyes to the small mound of earth in front of him again. He had never experienced a feeling of loss so great. Another event, seven years prior, skittered into his mind for a moment, but he shoved it aside.

This loss was greater. This loss left him aching and empty. He felt as though he were swaying slightly. He wanted to fall and let his body slam against the hot, hard earth and shatter him.

"We should get out of the sun," he whispered. "There is no use in standing here, Makena."

"You go," she answered. Her voice was dry and hard like the earth around him. "Go."

He reached for her hand again but she was even more resistant, shrugging away and taking a step to the side to separate herself from him.

"Please?" he requested softly.

"Go," she repeated. "I want to be alone."

He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and looked back to the tiny grave in front of him. Such a small mound of dirt, but the loss was so huge. He turned and walked away, his head bowed against the sun and a heavy weight settling across his shoulders with a feeling of awful permanency.

He sat alone at his kitchen table, gazing out the windows at the wide, open sky and the struggling plant life. The drought had taken everything from him, now. Makena was all he had left, and even she was slipping away from him, burying herself in guilt and despair.

Several times in his life, Kwame had sat alone and thought to himself how little he had left. His father had died young, trampled during a hunting expedition. Kwame had been too young to miss him, but his absence had certainly hurt, even as Kwame had grown older. His mother's death had come ten years later. He had watched her die slowly from an illness nobody could explain or cure away. 20 years later, he had watched his tiny son suffer the same fate.

_Again, I am reduced to nothing_, Kwame thought wearily. He was too tired to think. His crops and his livestock had perished in the heat. The rains had not come and the sun had baked everything to dust. Walking across his land, he came across bleached bones and drifts of topsoil. He had done everything he could to avoid the situation he was in now. He had been clever, and decent, and fair, and he had reaped the benefits of his land far beyond any of the other farmers surrounding him. But even he had fallen victim to the weather. The water had dried up quickly, leaving only stagnant pools and empty river beds.

His son was not the first victim of the new poverty Kwame and his wife had found themselves in. His tiny grave was one of many. It didn't make the pain any less difficult.

_I pull myself from the rubble time and time again, and yet it is always a wasted effort,_ he thought, resting his head in his hands. _I am doomed to lose anyone I ever choose to love._

He wished Makena would come home. He wished he hadn't left her out in the heat. He knew he should go out and find her and bring her home and put her to bed. Try to sooth her with useless words and gentle hands on her skin and through her hair.

He sat at the table, staring down at the grain of the wood and listening to the house creak and groan as it expanded and shifted beneath the sun. He knew he was doomed to suffer the loss of his wife, next. She had pulled away from him the moment their son had caught the illness. Looked at Kwame as though it had been his fault. As though he were cursed.

He got to his feet wearily. He felt as though Death had come for him that night as well, and had simply left the bare essence inside his body, trapping him and forcing him to face the rubble he had been left with.

He trudged back into the heat. Makena was where he had left her. She had fallen to her knees in front of the grave. He could hear her keening and wailing, her hands sliding through the dirt around her, shifting it and causing it to float up and turn her skin pale yellow.

"Makena," he said softly. "Come inside. It is too hot out here."

She ignored him, rocking back and forth slowly. She clutched her hands to her chest, wailing.

"Come on," he said gently, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You need to come in." He pulled her up gently, and he had to half-carry her back to the house. She was reluctant to cooperate, but she lacked the strength or spirit to fight him.

He put her to bed and sat on the sunken mattress beside her. He wanted her to talk to him. He didn't want to be the strong one, anymore. He wanted to crumble and have someone take care of him and tell _him_ that everything would be all right, even if he knew it was a lie.

"I am going to my mother's," Makena whispered.

Kwame stroked her hair gently. "If that will make you feel better," he answered softly.

"I need to leave," she said, closing her eyes.

"For how long?" he asked. He ran his hand over her back, trying to sooth her as best he could.

"A long time," she answered. "I cannot do this, Kwame. I cannot look at you."

He looked down at her. He felt fear, and anger and sadness. "It is not my fault," he said desperately.

"I know." A tear rolled from beneath her tightly-closed lashes. "I cannot look at you without seeing our son. It is too difficult."

"It will get better," he promised gently. "It always does."

"And then it gets worse again." She turned over and buried her face in her pillow. He didn't know how to answer her. He ran his hand over her back again, feeling the rough material of her dress against his palm.

"I know," he said eventually. "It does get worse." He leaned down and kissed the back of her neck gently, breathing in the scent of her and letting the memories of a thousand nights beside her wash over him.

He had known enough loss to recognise when something was truly gone, and he felt no hope in keeping her there with him.

xXx

**NINE YEARS**

Gi ran her fingers through her hair and glanced around the house. The sink gleamed beneath the windows. The floors were shiny with polish and every inch of visible glass sparkled back at her.

She tossed the dishcloth back into the sink. It was only mid-afternoon. She poured herself a tall glass of lemonade and drank it standing in the middle of the kitchen, her feet bare on the cool, clean tiles. She rinsed her glass immediately and put it back in the cupboard.

She was searching for something else to keep her busy when the front door opened.

"Jin," she said in surprised. "What are you doing home?"

"Surprise," he said, offering her a small smile. "I finished early today."

"Oh." She smiled at him kissed his cheek. "Hi."

He watched her as she padded barefoot into the living room.

"Gi," he called, following her.

"Mm?" She was looking about distractedly.

"We need to talk."

"About?" she asked. She picked up a sofa cushion and plumped it before she threw it back down and went to inspect the liquor cabinet for dust.

"Us," he said. "Stop it, will you? Stand still for five minutes."

She looked over at him in surprise. "What's wrong?"

"We have problems we need to talk about," he said.

She could sense another argument coming and she wasn't in the mood to be a good girl and prevent it. At the risk of causing another screaming match, she glared at him. "Like what?" she asked icily. "Me, again? What I can and can't do?"

"Stop it," he said in disgust. "You know I don't blame you for any of this."

"Not out loud!" she snapped. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, immediately feeling defensive.

"You don't wear your ring anymore," he said, nodding to her left hand.

She glanced down. "I took it off to clean."

"You clean the entire house _every day_," he said, raising his voice in anger. "From top to bottom!"

"I'm bored out of my mind!" she screamed back at him, her own rage and frustration spilling out of her violently. "I can't be a meek little housewife, Jin!"

"I'm not asking you to be a meek little housewife!" he argued. "I'm asking you to be a mother."

"Well that doesn't seem to be working out, does it?" she snapped, turning her back on him and raking her fingers through her hair. She could feel his eyes on her but she refused to turn around and face him again. She gazed steadily out the window without seeing anything.

"Maybe we should go back to the hospital," he said wearily. "Maybe we should –"

"Go back?" she asked, glaring at him over her shoulder. "No thank you. I've had enough of doctors poking and prodding me and putting me through all sorts of humiliating tests."

"Well there has to be something wrong!" he cried. "We're two healthy people, Gi. We should be able to have a baby."

She leaned her forehead against the glass of the window, not caring about the smudge she was going to leave. "I don't think I want a baby anymore."

She listened to her husband's breath falter as she exposed this new secret of hers to the air. She could feel it between them, relishing the air and the light now that she'd let it out. It grew and pressed against them.

"How long have you felt this way?" he asked stiffly.

"Not long." She turned her body back to him but kept her eyes lowered. "I just don't think you and I are stable enough to have a baby."

"You agreed," he said desperately. "You agreed to stop work and settle down."

"I've changed my mind," she said softly. "I want to go back to work. I need to be _busy_, Jin. I'm going crazy here, shut up in the house with nothing to keep me entertained."

"Once you get pregnant, that will change," he said.

"Sitting around being pregnant won't improve my mood," she said, feeling dangerously angry at him all of a sudden. "And a baby isn't going to improve the issues you and I have."

"We can work through it," he argued.

She tucked her hair behind her ears nervously. "I'm too selfish to be a mother, Jin. I guess I thought I could settle down and I'd be okay with it, but I'm not."

"Have you been avoiding getting pregnant?" he asked sharply.

"Of course not!" she snapped, glaring at him. "Do you honestly think I'd deceive you like that?"

"I don't know!" he cried. He sank onto the sofa. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"You can't _do_ anything," she muttered. "Just don't lie to me and tell me you think our marriage is working like it should be."

"Why aren't you happy?" he asked desperately. "I thought a baby would make you happy."

She shrugged wearily. "I was happy before, Jin. It was a big sacrifice, okay? Giving up work. I don't care how selfish it might seem, but I _loved_ my job and I didn't want to give it up."

"I know," he sighed. "We fought about it a lot. I thought we were past all that now."

Gi wanted to cry with frustration. She wasn't sure how to talk to him anymore. He didn't listen to her. He wanted life to work like a mathematical formula – planned out and resulting in the perfectly-predicted answer. She felt sorry that things had ended up this way. She felt as though she had wasted years of his life, but the simple truth was, she couldn't fit into the life he wanted. They'd both tried hard – tried to mould her into the right shape and form so she could slot into the equation like she was supposed to. But she hadn't been what he had expected her to be, and she had realised that his support and his love could only stretch so far before it broke under the strain.

"I'm a wife," she said finally. "And you want me to be a mother. What's going to happen to Gi?"

He looked up at her. He looked irritated, and upset. "I came home early," he said. "Why do we have to argue?"

"Why should today be any different?" she asked tiredly. She turned towards the window again, watching the clouds float over the city. People wandered by, barely visible behind the thick hedge Jin had planted just days after he and Gi had moved in.

"I'm not sure who you want me to be," he said eventually.

She shrugged, gazing out the window. "I'm not sure, either," she whispered. "I guess I wanted you to be four different people."

He didn't respond to this odd statement. He just sat there silently.

She sighed and leaned her forehead against the cool glass in front of her again. "I'm sorry, Jin. I want a divorce."

He was silent for a long time, and when he eventually spoke again, there was relief in his voice, and that seemed to hurt more than anything. "Me too," he said.

xXx

**TEN YEARS**

"Ready?" Viktor asked.

"Yes, I think so." She got up from her dressing table, glancing quickly into the mirror at her face.

"Hurry up, then," he snapped. "We have an appointment to keep."

Not wishing to start another one-sided argument, Linka pulled her jacket on and glanced around the bedroom to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

She followed Viktor through the house, picking up her briefcase and the stack of books and notes she'd organised that afternoon. She stepped into the cold night, watching her breath mist out in front of her. The temperature was below freezing and ice and frozen mud crunched under her shoes as she followed Viktor to the car.

"Did you go over the notes?" he asked, throwing his briefcase into the trunk and sliding into the driver's seat. She dropped the books and her briefcase into the trunk gratefully, wincing at the effort, and closed the trunk cleanly before she sank into the passenger seat.

"Yes, I went over the notes," she said, breathing heavily. The slightest physical effort cost her so much energy, it seemed. She fought quietly to gain her breath back as Viktor steered the car out onto the street and pressed the accelerator heavily.

"This is an important deal," Viktor said. "This will be the first major international company to invest in our software."

_My software_, she thought automatically. She quashed the silent rebellion immediately.

"I know," she answered.

"If it does well, it will increase our profits tenfold," he said, racing the car through a yellow traffic light.

Linka nodded. She didn't care how her software did, or whether or not it sold overseas. It had the potential to, but it wasn't like she was going to see the rewards of it even if it did succeed. Viktor had made sure of that a long time ago.

They drove in silence. Linka had a headache – though driving with Viktor always left her feeling a little queasy. She watched the streetlights flash past. The sidewalks were deserted – the dark and the cold forcing the people inside for the evening. Store windows were still decorated with Christmas paraphernalia and brightly-painted sales advertising. She closed her eyes and listened to the wheels of the car slice through puddles and patches of snow, kept soft by the constant traffic.

"Remember what I have told you to say, if they ask you any questions," Viktor said, pulling the car to a sudden halt. "Otherwise, just sit quietly. We can't afford to let this deal slip through our fingers." He slammed the car door and she blinked, sitting quietly for a moment before she summoned the energy to get out of the car herself and gather the books into her arms again.

She followed him into the building, listening to her heels clack on the floor, echoing slightly. Most people had gone home for the day, and many of the offices she passed were dark and silent.

"Set up," Viktor said, waving towards the conference room. "I am going to introduce myself before the demonstration."

She entered the conference room, which was already lit up, and dropped her burden onto the table with a sigh of relief. She put her palms down on the polished surface of the table and took a few deep breaths. She felt lightheaded and tired. She straightened up, knowing that if she spent too long thinking about how she felt, she'd start to cry.

She booted up the computer at the back of the room and logged on. Her headache was growing worse. She wondered if she'd be able to slip out of the meeting early – or if she could somehow avoid it altogether.

Again, she forced her attention away from herself and fixed it upon the computer screen. She couldn't afford to blow this deal – she couldn't risk the effect it might have on Viktor. She glanced to the front of the room to make sure the projector was working the way it should be. Catching sight of the English words on the screen in front of her, she felt an odd sort of nostalgia. She was suddenly relieved that Viktor would be the one doing all the talking. She hadn't used her vocal English in ten years. She had shied away from it – and since meeting Viktor, she didn't need to do any of the talking. He did it all for her.

Terror welled up inside her. What if they did want to talk to her? What if she'd forgotten everything?

She licked her parched lips and whispered to herself. "Hello, my name is Linka."

It sounded odd, and wrong. Out of place. She bit her lip and forced her attention back to the slideshow. It didn't help her nervousness, knowing that the room would soon contain American accents. She couldn't help but drag up one long-lost voice, letting it echo around and settle against the edges of her mind. She thought of him every time she heard an American accent. Every time someone mentioned America, or New York, or pizza. Every time someone lit a fire or a match or a cigarette.

She shook her head, aware that her breathing had become ragged and that she hadn't been paying attention to the slides at all. She clicked back and forced her eyes upon them, silently berating herself for daydreaming like that.

Viktor joined her again, straightening his tie. "Are you done?" he asked.

"Almost."

"Get out of the way," he said in disgust, pushing her aside. "Just sit there and keep your mouth shut. If you cannot organise a simple slideshow..."

She sat down wearily, listening to him mutter to himself. She smoothed the material of her skirt and made sure her sleeves were neat and prim against her wrists.

She stood when the Americans filed in, shaking their hands and smiling at them. She checked each of their faces carefully, and wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when she couldn't recognise any of them.

_Well, what did you expect, Linka?_ she thought to herself angrily. _Do you honestly expect him to just walk into your life again ten years after you shut him out of it?_

Bitterly, she thought again about how she had left the Planeteers, turning her back on them in order to find some sort of independence. But the simple truth was, Linka didn't work without the Planeteers. She had begun to think of herself as a giant cog, functional and important within the machine it belonged to, but of no use once the parts were scattered.

She wondered if their lives were like her own and if they too remembered the days on Hope Island as the happiest they'd ever had.

_It doesn't matter, now,_ she thought wearily. _Ten years on and I still think of them. I wish I could forget._

She forced herself to focus as Viktor began the presentation. He was right – this was an important meeting. This meeting could ensure her career for years to come.

_A career I do not want_, she thought, and she sank down in her seat a little, listening to the smooth, confident sounds of Viktor's speech.

xXx


	2. Nicholas and Polina

_Everywhere the water's getting rough_   
_Your best intentions may not be enough_

_I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight_

_But if you break down_   
_I'll drive out and find you_   
_If you forget my love_   
_I'll try to remind you_   
_And stay by you_

_When it don't come easy_

xXx

Wheeler leaned back in his chair and pinned the phone against his shoulder, leaving his hands free to tug the cellophane from a new pack of cigarettes.

_I only smoke two or three a day_, he thought, justifying the purchase of another pack.

Behind him, snow fell silently past the window, turning to slush in the street. His tiny apartment was toasty warm, closed against the misery of the bad weather. Christmas lights still decorated the streets, and post-Christmas sales ensured people would still be out and about once the sun came up, hurrying past with scarves across their faces and their hands deep in the thick pockets of their jackets.

"Come on," he muttered, listening to the phone ring and ring at the other end of the call.

He lit a cigarette, throwing the lighter back to the desk and glancing at the clock. Maybe it was too early.

"Hello?"

"Hey," he breathed, relieved at the sound of the voice on the other end. "It's Wheeler."

"Do you have news?"

It was always the first question, not matter which of them had called. The answer had always been the same. Until today.

"I think so," Wheeler said carefully, not wanting to raise hopes too high. "I think I've found a way in."

He could hear Mishka struggling to contain his excitement. "Tell me," he said.

Wheeler pinned his cigarette between his fingers and sorted papers on his desk. "I've found Viktor," he said. "An American company has been over here to strike a deal with some new software, and Viktor's the guy they've been dealing with."

"Is Linka still with him?" Mishka asked desperately.

Wheeler ran his hand through his hair and dragged on his cigarette again. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "My friend, Craig, recalled a woman present at the meeting, but she didn't speak any English." He paused and glanced at the cigarette smouldering in his fingers. "I guess it could be Linka. But Craig says this woman looked sick. Like she had cancer or something..."

"Cancer?" Mishka asked. His voice was ghostly and full of fear.

"Yeah." Wheeler stabbed the cigarette out and ran his hand over his face, fixing his eyes on Craig's email again and memorising the information. "I'm gonna try and get an interview about the deal and see if I can track her down."

"When will you have news?" Mishka asked desperately. "Should I come and –"

"No, not yet," Wheeler answered gently. "You're gonna know as soon as I do, man. I promise."

Mishka sighed. "_Da_, I know. I might be underground tomorrow, but leave a message?"

"Sure thing," Wheeler promised. "I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

"Thank you," Mishka breathed. "I am so worried about her..."

"Me too," Wheeler answered, turning in his chair and looking out at the dark sky. The sun wouldn't be up for another hour or so. "Listen, I'm gonna try and get hold of Viktor today. If things go right, I might be able to confirm the woman Craig saw was Linka. And if it wasn't, maybe Viktor can help us track her down anyway."

"He will not help," Mishka scoffed bitterly. "He is the one who took her away in the first place."

Wheeler pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll call you as soon as I know anything," he said. "Talk to you later."

They said their goodbyes and Wheeler was left alone with his thoughts again, trying to gather the courage to put in his next phone call.

He had never come this close to her. He had been in St Petersburg for three years now, chasing endless leads and stories. He had been crushed when he'd arrived in her tiny hometown in the Kuznetsk Basin to find she'd disappeared almost immediately after her return from Hope Island. Even more so when Mishka had told him he had not heard from her in years and didn't have a clue as to where she might be. He had searched, too, but she was hidden.

The only clue either of them had was Viktor Morozov. He'd come to Mishka's mine, investigating rights and championing for the people. Linka had fallen hard for his ideas and his strength and passion – Mishka had reacted angrily when Viktor had taken advantage of her obvious fragility and had offered her a place at his company.

She had followed him, desperate to replace the Planeteers with something new. What Viktor had offered her was glamorous and important, and he was charming and smooth. Mishka had begged her not to leave, but she had been skeptical of his suspicion and had assured him she could take care of herself.

Contact had dwindled ever since, until she finally stopped taking his calls altogether. When his letters and phone calls to her new address – and then her company address – went unanswered, he didn't know where to turn next.

Until Wheeler had shown up – seven years after the Planeteers had broken up and Linka had returned home. He'd told Mishka he needed to find Linka and he'd do so at any cost.

Wheeler smiled to himself as he picked up the phone again. He'd never have predicted himself becoming such close friends with Mishka. He just wished it was for a better reason than the one he had now.

He tried to prepare himself for the phone conversation he was about to have. It was early, but from what he could tell, the company Viktor worked for never slept. Worst-case scenario, he'd reach a machine.

He was quite fluent in Russian now, and could do quite well even in rapid conversation, but Viktor was a difficult man to track down. The company he worked for seemed unusually private, avoiding both publicity and advertising as though it would bring them bad luck. Something that would make his job even more difficult.

"Viktor Morozov, please?" he asked.

"Hold," came the weary reply.

He was left listening to dreary Christmas carols until another voice came on the line. He'd been expecting some sort of answering machine, but it sounded like he'd reached a secretary.

"Viktor Morozov's office."

"Nicholas Armstrong," Wheeler said, introducing himself and silently celebrating the fact he'd been transferred through to an actual person. "I'm a freelance journalist wondering if I could take a moment of Mr. Morozov's time today to ask him about his new software deal with _Morgan and Echo Industries._"

"Mr. Morozov is not giving out interviews," his secretary answered wearily.

"What about Polina Vetrova?"

The secretary snorted. "She is not giving out interviews, either."

_I've found her. Oh my God, she does work there. I've found her._

"Could I speak with her anyway?" he asked daringly. "What time does she get in?"

"No, there are no interviews given. Sorry." She disconnected the call.

"Fuck!" Wheeler snapped, slamming the phone down. "Fine. Bitch." He got to his feet and pulled his jacket on, bundling himself into thick layers and winding his scarf around his neck. He glanced at the clock and figured he could make it to Moscow by early evening if he pressed the pedal hard enough.

_No interviews_, he thought bitterly, snatching up his keys. _Let's see how they deal with visitors._

xXx

He'd never driven so fast in his life. Twice he'd nearly skidded off the road, the car sliding on patches of ice and snow and sending the car fishtailing across the pavement. It still hadn't been incentive enough to slow him down. He wanted to get to Linka's office before she left for the day, and time and distance were working against him. He'd made it, though. It was approaching dark, but he had every reason to believe Linka would be inside the large office building looming over him.

He sighed at the blast of heat as he entered the foyer and shed his jacket immediately, hurrying to the desk.

"I'm here to see Polina Vetrova," he said, approaching the receptionist at the desk.

"Who?" She clicked and tapped at the computer with a bored expression.

"She worked with Viktor Morozov on the deal with _Morgan and Echo_," he explained impatiently. "Polina Vetrova. Linka."

"Just a second," she answered wearily. She glanced at her computer screen and tapped a number into the phone, adjusting her headset carefully. "What is your business with her?" she asked, listening to the phone ring at the other end.

"Just tying up a few loose ends with the deal," he said, blessing his ability to lie so impulsively.

"Someone is at the front desk and asking for you," she said into the phone. Her manner or her bored tone didn't seem to improve, no matter who she was talking to you.

"Craig Wright," Wheeler said, pulling up his friend's name and hoping Linka remembered him from the meeting.

"It's about the deal with the American company. Craig Wright?" she said into the headset. She listened for a moment and then nodded and disconnected the call. "Take the elevator to the third floor and turn left. Her office is down the hall."

He barely resisted the urge to run. He could feel sweat on his skin and he couldn't remember ever being so nervous.

The elevator barely seemed to move.

"Come on!" he shouted angrily, tapping his foot impatiently as he travelled slowly upwards. Three floors had never seemed so high.

xXx

Linka stood at the window in her office, barely keeping bright tears back. She didn't know why she felt so betrayed – she should have seen it coming. Still, it was bitterly unfair. It had been _her_ software. She had done every inch of work on it. She had written every line of code and abolished every error and tied up every loose end until the final product had been neatly scrolled away to a shiny compact disc, boxed up to be sold to the highest bidders.

And though Viktor hadn't been present at the meeting that afternoon, she knew it had been his decision to terminate her contract. She'd go home to him tonight and he'd have more control over her, and _he'd_ have the benefits of her software and the deal they'd negotiated the previous evening.

She shook her head and pressed her forehead against her glass. She'd done nothing wrong. Five years she'd worked with this company, and now that they'd received their payout from the software _she_ had developed, they were done with her.

Well – Viktor was done with her. She was certain it had been his decision, but he'd been suspiciously absent from the board that afternoon. She wondered what was going to happen when she went home.

She turned in surprise as the phone on her desk rang. Expecting it to be Viktor, she answered it quickly.

"Yes?"

"Someone is at the front desk and asking for you."

She blinked, recognising the front receptionist's voice but not knowing who on Earth would be requesting to see her – and certainly not this late in the day. She glanced nervously to the clock. She'd be expected home, soon.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's about the deal with the American company. Craig Wright?"

"Oh," Linka sighed. She remembered Craig. He had seemed a little nervous around her, as though she'd break if he let his gaze rest upon her for too long. She wondered what he wanted now. "Send him up," she said. "Third floor, and fourth office on the left."

She hung up and turned back to the window. She wondered if she should pack her desk. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, breathing out a slow sigh as she remembered the words of her superiors that afternoon. She shook her head in disbelief, heartbroken that she had been treated so callously by the people she had spent five years working with. She had thrown everything into her job, having nothing else to look forward to or enjoy. And now it had been pulled out from beneath her.

_Again, the most important thing in my life has been torn away from me._

xXx

She had her back to him. Her arms were folded against her chest and she was gazing down at the slushy snow in the parking lot. It was almost dark and artificial lighting threw shadows across the ground, turning the snow blue-white and hiding the ugliness of the mud.

She was thin. Too thin. He recognised now what Craig had meant when he'd brought up the possibility of her suffering an illness. Her skin was pale and waxy and her hair was darker, as though she barely saw the sun, and it seemed lank and dull, coiled up and pinned against the back of her head.

He stepped into her office, afraid of her reaction. They hadn't exactly left things on good terms.

"Linka?" His voice sounded strange, and far away.

She turned, looking tired.

He thought she had looked pale, but if possible, her face seemed to drain of its colour even further. She went ghostly white, and she gasped and staggered. He kicked the door closed behind him and had her in his arms in two strides, catching her before she hit the floor.

"Hey babe," he whispered, sinking gently to the floor with her.

"Wheeler," she breathed. She stared up at him with wide eyes, and lifted a trembling hand to his cheek, touching him as though she needed to make sure it was really him.

"Yeah." He smiled down at her. "You okay?"

She seemed to realise, then, that she was on the floor, and she slipped out of his hands like a breath of wind, straightening to her feet and smoothing out her clothing and her hair, nervously checking her reflection in the mirror that hung on the wall of her office.

He stood by the wall, watching her, feeling anxious and not knowing what to say to her. He'd tried to plan this moment – over the past ten years he had imagined it thousands of times – but nothing had prepared him for the reality of it.

"You said – I am expecting..." She glanced to the door and then back to him. "You said you were Craig?"

Her accent was much thicker than he remembered.

"Yeah." He gave her a small smile. "Surprise."

She pressed her palms over her eyes and sounded tearful when she spoke again. "I did not think I would ever see you again." She dropped her arms and gazed at him sadly.

"I've been hunting for you for years," he said. His voice was soft but there was a strong force of passion behind it. "You were always one step ahead of us, babe."

"I was not hiding," she said, folding her arms again.

"Could have fooled me," he said. "There's no trace of you anywhere."

"But you found me."

He grinned. "Guess I did." He reached for her hand, but she glanced nervously towards the door. He dropped his arm. "Mishka's worried about you," he said.

She stared at him in amazement and for a moment he thought she was going to faint again.

"You have spoken with Mishka?" she asked breathlessly.

He nodded. "He wants you to call him. Linka, he's so worried about you." He shook his head. "We've been looking for you for so –"

She burst into tears, burying her face in her hands. "I am so sorry," she sobbed. "I know it is all my fault."

"Don't apologise," he whispered. "Come here." He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"No, you must stop," she mumbled, reverting to Russian as she sank against him. "Someone could see us..."

"I don't care," he muttered, brushing his lips against her forehead.

"But..." She trailed off and pulled away from him slightly, looking up in confusion. She blinked at him and continued slowly, whispering softly. "I am speaking Russian," she said.

"I know." He dropped a kiss against her head. "I've been in St Petersburg for three years."

Her legs buckled again and he lowered her into her chair, kneeling in front of her.

"Do you want a glass of water?" he asked gently.

She gave a hollow laugh and rested her elbows on her knees, dropping her head to her hands. "I will be all right in a moment," she promised him. "I am just a little overwhelmed..."

He stroked her hair and watched her take three deep breaths. She looked up at him and ran her eyes over his face.

"You look the same," she said, switching back to English and brushing her fingertips against his cheek.

He closed his eyes at her touch. "I do?"

"Your hair is shorter," she whispered, stroking it with her fingers. "But you do not comb it..."

He laughed and opened his eyes to find her gazing at him. "Ten years," he sighed. He shook his head. "Too long."

She bit her lip and lowered her eyes. "_Da_, too long," she agreed. "And you have spent the ten years looking for me?"

"I've done a lot of things," he said. "I've been tracking you down, learning Russian, battling drug addictions..." He took her hands in his own and looked down at them.

"You should not joke about things like that," she said quietly, letting him stroke her slender fingers gently.

"Who's joking?" he asked. He gazed steadily back at her when she looked at him in surprise. "Heroin," he said.

She bit her lip and stared at him. "Heroin?" she asked eventually. "Wheeler..."

"I'm okay now," he said, moving his eyes away from her gaze. "Addicted to nicotine, but I figure that's a step up, really." He let go of her hands and dug around in his pockets, tossing his cigarettes onto her desk.

"It was because of me?" she asked timidly. "The heroin?"

"No," he said, horrified. "No, of course not. It was just – I was weak. I couldn't handle the loss of the Planeteers and –"

"It _was_ my fault!" she cried, slumping in her seat and burying her face in her hands. "I sent everyone home!" She sobbed heavily and bent over, and he immediately wrapped his arms around her.

"Shh," he soothed. "Linka, of course it wasn't your fault." He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. He had always remembered her scent as soft and cool, floral and spice perfumes and frangipani salt scrub. Whatever the hell that was.

But now she smelled of tiredness and sickness. He clutched her and she was sharp and small in his arms.

"Linka, are you ill?" he asked timidly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," she answered immediately. "I am fine."

"Please don't lie to me," he begged. "I need to know what's wrong."

She shook her head and moved to her feet, pulling free of his arms. "Wheeler, I have to go," she said, looking at the clock. She started moving around her office, piling papers into her briefcase and pulling her jacket on.

"Have dinner with me," he begged. "We don't have to talk about anything bad if you don't want to, but –"

She shook her head, avoiding his eyes and snapping her briefcase shut. "_Nyet_, I cannot. I have to go home."

His heart sank and he clutched at his hair. "Okay," he breathed. "Look – tomorrow? Meet me tomorrow? Or later tonight!" He was begging now, but he didn't care.

She shook her head. "I cannot."

"Please." He literally sank to his knees and clutched at the bottom of her jacket. "Linka, I'm begging you," he said. "I won't leave here until we talk properly. I'll sleep in your office. On the floor. I'll move right in and I won't leave until you –"

"Wheeler!" She looked like she was about to smile, but her exhaustion prevented her. She put a hand to her forehead and looked down at him tiredly. She sighed. "I will see you tomorrow," she said.

"Do you promise?" he asked, not letting go of her.

"I promise," she answered. "Now let go of me." She looked at the door again and he staggered to his feet and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"I love you," he whispered, unable to help himself.

She gazed up at him and for a moment he wondered if she was going to give in and kiss him. It was a brave, useless thought, however.

Voices in the corridor disturbed them, and she tore her gaze away from his, touching her hair nervously and looking frightened and guilty as though she had committed some crime by just looking at him.

"Go," she whispered. "You must go."

"When can I see you tomorrow?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I am not sure," she admitted. "Where are you staying?"

"I'm not sure," he said, grinning at her. "Hadn't thought."

"_Bozhe moy_," she muttered.

He sighed and looked at her lovingly. "I've missed hearing that."

"Here," she said, scribbling a note in Russian. "Stay here. I will call tomorrow. Will you still be Craig Wright?"

"Try Nicholas Armstrong instead," he said, taking the note and tucking it into his pocket after glancing at it to make sure he could read it. "You promise you're coming?" he asked. "I swear to God, Linka, I'm not letting you go, now. If you don't show up –"

"I am coming," she promised. She glanced worriedly to the clock and scrabbled around in her handbag, drawing out her wallet. "I will come because I will want this back," she told him, handing him something that looked terribly battered and beaten. A playing card.

He pinched it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger. "_Bozhe moy_," he agreed, breathing out a sigh and smiling at her. "I'll give it back." He leaned down and kissed her cheek gently. "You're still my Queen of Hearts, you know."

xXx

Linka closed the door softly.

"There you are!"

She jumped and turned to see Viktor standing in the foyer with a bunch of flowers.

"Am I late?" she asked, checking her watch. She braced herself for what would come if he said she _was_ late.

But he laughed. "Late? No." He kissed her cheek. "The deal is all signed, Linka." He smiled. "We did it."

She relaxed a little. Maybe things were going to be okay, now. Maybe the software deal was all it took for him to be happy with her.

Though, that didn't explain the sudden termination of her contract.

She fought back her tears and smiled shyly at him. "I am glad the presentation went well."

"Me too." Obviously, they were both going to ignore the fact that she had been made redundant by their company that afternoon. He put the flowers aside and kissed her gently. "What would you like for dinner?" he asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

She closed her eyes at the soft, intimate touch. "I do not mind," she breathed.

His hands moved over her shoulders and down her back, pulling her towards him. "Perhaps we could skip dinner," he murmured. "Perhaps we should have an early night..."

She felt familiar anxiety and fear start to tremble through her nerves. "If you want," she whispered.

She saw his eyes glint and realised that the software deal would not be enough to fix this. Nothing would be.

"Yes," he said. "That's what I want."

xXx

Linka watched the minutes crawl by on the digital clock on her bedside table. She could hear Viktor's deep breathing behind her and knew he was asleep. His hand still rested on her arm, as though he wanted to keep her there alongside him.

_Wheeler is here_, she thought. Her body felt weighted down and weary, but her mind was bright and clear, and for the first time in a long time she recognised the feeling of happiness. _He came to find me. _

She smiled to herself. Maybe tomorrow she could speak to Mishka. It had been so long. She hadn't realised, at the time, just how isolated she was becoming.

But then, Viktor was clever. They'd been in St Petersburg for almost two years before moving to Moscow, and in that short time, he'd managed to isolate her from everybody. She'd had no one left to turn to. She was alone, and had simply accepted it as punishment for what had happened during the final few weeks as a Planeteer. Breaking the team up had, ultimately, been her decision. Though she could hardly blame herself for what had happened between Wheeler and Gi, she felt guilt for what had happened after their return to Hope Island. She had been the one to send everyone away, and the search for something to dull her guilt and her sense of loss had led her to follow Viktor.

When that went wrong, she had simply incorporated her relationship with Viktor into her own need for self-destruction.

_Maybe now things can finally be right again_, she thought, closing her eyes and breathing a deep sigh. _Maybe I will be okay._

xXx

Wheeler didn't know if it was excitement or nervousness keeping him awake. Perhaps a combination of the two. Either way, he had lain staring at the shadowy ceiling for hours, knowing that he needed sleep but simply feeling too wired to get any.

He tried working for a while, tapping away at his laptop until he realised none of his sentences were making sense and he'd been making frequent errors in both Russian and English. In the end he gave up completely and sat up flicking through television channels, remembering snatches of Planeteer missions and comparing the girl he remembered to the one Linka had become.

He felt a sick sort of worry and premonition in his gut when he remembered how thin and pale she was. She was gaunt and tired, and had seemed jumpy and nervous.

_I'm gonna find out what's wrong_, he thought. _And I'm gonna fix it._

xXx


	3. Do Svidaniya

Linka combed her hair carefully, fighting back tears.

_I am so ugly_, she thought, looking at herself in the mirror. Since seeing Wheeler yesterday, something had shifted. She could see herself as he would have seen her, and the results weren't pretty.

Turning her back on the mirror, she dressed slowly, covering her body in layers of clothing and warmth before she turned back to the counter to apply her makeup.

She checked her reflection again, carefully, listening to Viktor out in the kitchen and feeling anxious about what sort of mood he was going to be in that morning.

He was reading the paper when she appeared, showered and neatly dressed. He gave her a cursory glance and turned his attention back to the headlines and his cup of coffee. Breathing a silent sigh of relief after meeting his approval for the day, she quietly set about getting herself a cup of coffee.

"Viktor," she said softly, spooning coffee into her mug.

"Mm?" He turned a page and glanced over the print.

"My contract was terminated yesterday..." she said, stirring the sugar in slowly in order to stop her hands from shaking.

"I know."

She bit her bottom lip, watching the small whirlpool in her coffee slow. She put the spoon down on the sink. "Why?" she dared to ask.

"Don't ask questions, Linka."

She tried to steady her hands before she picked up her coffee. _Don't ask questions_ had been Viktor's mantra for a long time, now. She couldn't help herself this time.

"But what am I supposed to do?" she asked tearfully.

He stood, the chair shooting back on the linoleum and causing Linka to jump and face him, her eyes wide.

"You will stay at home," he said. "I'll bring your office things back tonight."

"But –" She bit back her further protests when he took a step towards her. She bowed her head in defeat and he straightened his tie.

"But what?" he asked calmly.

She shook her head. It wasn't worth it.

xXx

Linka walked with her head down, even after entering the warmth of the hotel lobby. She hesitated, keeping her left arm close to her body and against her ribs. It hurt to breathe – but she had made it. She was in the hotel she had directed Wheeler to.

But now she was having second thoughts. Viktor had told her to stay home today. He was at work, but what if he called to see she was following his orders? What if he called and she wasn't there? What if he returned home for some reason?

She turned hurriedly, changing her mind about the whole thing, but before she could take a step towards the door, Wheeler was in front of her.

He raised his eyebrow. "Weren't you even going to come up and say hello?" he asked.

She opened her mouth and closed it again without saying anything.

Wheeler lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Look," he said, "I know it might be hard, seeing me again, but we've got stuff we need to talk about." He raised his eyes to hers again, giving her a direct stare that made her shiver. "You should at least call Mishka," he said. "I told him I'd found you. He's waiting to hear from you."

She felt a deep jolt in her stomach, but forced it back and lifted her chin defiantly. "You are not in your room," she said, stating the obvious. "What if I had tried to call?"

He held up his cell. "The front desk is very obliging when it comes to forwarding calls," he said. "And don't change the subject."

She bit her lip and he reached for her hand and took it, leading her gently towards the elevator. They stood silently together, her hand enfolded in his, as they travelled up nine floors and made their way to his room.

He tossed his keys and his cell onto the cushioned armchair and sat on the end of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees and looking up at her. After a moment he dug around in his shirt pocket and handed her back the playing card she had given him the previous evening.

She took it with trembling fingers, tucking The Queen of Hearts into the pocket of her jacket.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She nodded automatically.

"That's the truth?" he asked.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her voice was a husk.

"Better today than I've been in a long time," he said, gazing at her. "Answer my question."

She looked away from him, running her eyes over the furniture in his room and the cheaply-framed paintings on the wall. Eventually she shrugged, and he figured that was the most honest answer he was going to get out of her.

"Everyone has been worried about you," he said softly. "No one could find you..."

"Everyone?" she asked curiously.

"Gi asks about you all the time."

Her heart plummeted and she felt a cold, sick feeling deep inside her. "You still hear from her," she whispered.

"Uh-huh." He reached for her hand and she let him take it, but she didn't sit down next to him.

He continued gently, running his thumb over the back of her hand. "She saved my life," he said. "Picked me up after I'd hit rock bottom." He raised his eyes to hers. "I'll always owe her for that."

She stood silently in front of him, watching him caress her hand gently. "She asks about me?" she inquired, cursing her curiosity. She thought of Gi often, and the experience was always difficult for her. It was easier to block everything out.

"All the time," he said, nodding. "Asks if I've found you yet. Ma-Ti, too, but I don't really talk to him." He lowered his eyes again. "Gi sends his messages on. He tried hard but I just couldn't..." He shook his head. "I felt too guilty after everything had happened."

"Ma-Ti tried hard to find me," Linka said, recalling the first year back in Russia. Ma-Ti had left many messages and had written many letters – all of which had gone unanswered. She had not wanted any contact with any of them.

He nodded. "Yeah. He works in an office now, I think."

"_Nyet_," Linka retorted. "Ma-Ti could not –"

"He does," Wheeler said, grinning. "Saving rainforests from behind a desk."

Linka pursed her lips. "Does he like it?"

"Don't think so. But he does good work."

She nodded. "And Kwame?"

Wheeler tugged at her hand and she finally sat beside him on the end of the bed. He didn't let go of her hand. "Kwame," he sighed. "Kwame's not done so well."

Linka's heart started beating a little faster. "Why?" she asked anxiously. "What happened to him?"

"Started out okay," Wheeler said, recalling what Gi had told him through the years. "He married a woman a couple of years after returning home and lived with her on his farm. They had a son a few years ago, but lost him to sickness."

Linka clapped her hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. Wheeler put his arm around her and she sobbed.

"He and Makena split not long after that," Wheeler said. "He gave up on the farm after a nasty drought and I think he works in construction now."

Linka moaned softly and rocked back and forth. Wheeler ran his palm over her back. He could feel the ridges of her spine, even through her layers of clothing.

"You never got married?" he asked softly.

She shook her head.

"Mishka always figured you'd married Viktor," he told her.

The corner of her mouth turned upwards, and she looked sad and bitter. "_Nyet_," she whispered. "He never asked."

"Would you have married him, if he did?" Wheeler asked.

She closed her eyes and her tears fell to her cheeks. "I am not sure," she said. "I suppose so."

"You don't seem very happy about it," he said.

"Should I be?" she asked. She heard the ice in her voice. "Look at me." She stared at the floor.

Wheeler's arm slid around her again and he tugged her close, pressing his mouth against her temple. "Why don't you leave?" he asked desperately.

"I thought I was clever enough to stay in control of it," she admitted miserably. "But Viktor is always ahead of everyone. I had not realised just how alone I was until I thought about leaving. He controls everything. Who I see, who I speak to, what I do. The hours I work. What I do with my money." She shook her head. _Now I have no job and I am even more reliant on him than I was before..._

Wheeler wrapped his arms around her and pulled her backwards, stretching out on the mattress and staring up at the ceiling. It took a few moments for her to relax, but eventually she rested her head against his shoulder and stopped holding her body tense.

"Tell me what you have been doing," she breathed, closing her eyes. "Tell me what your life is like."

"Do you want the English version or the Russian subtitles?" he asked with a grin.

She smiled, opening her eyes briefly to look at him. "English," she requested. "I am out of practise. I need to listen again."

"You still speak it better than I do," he sighed, wriggling about a little to get comfortable. "Okay," he sighed, brushing his lips against her forehead. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," she whispered.

"That could take a while, babe," he answered. He felt tired, now. He'd been awake all night and now that Linka was there with him he felt calm enough to sleep again.

She braced herself and asked the question she really wanted the answer to. "You do not have a girl in your life?" she asked.

"Just you." He kissed her brow again. "There was one girl... Five years after I got home. We were together for a year or so."

"What happened?" Linka asked, hating herself for feeling jealous.

"We both figured out it wasn't going to work," he said. "I still hear from her now and then. She's married now."

"But there is no one now? With you?"

"Nope."

She bit her lip. "Sometimes, when I thought of you, I imagined you to be with Gi," she admitted, feeling a little silly at revealing the fear that had followed her around all the past few years. "Sometimes I thought you and she were married..."

He hugged her tightly. "No," he murmured. "She's my best friend – but that's it."

Linka dashed a tear away on the back of her hand. "You see her a lot?"

"I talk to her a lot, but I've only seen her three times since Hope Island. She came to Brooklyn two years after leaving Hope Island and helped me out... I called her and told her about the heroin." He shifted uncomfortably at the memory of it. "Figured I was gonna die, and it scared me. She stayed with me until I got clean again."

"I am so sorry," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his shoulder. "I wish I had been there for you."

He hugged her waist. He felt as though he would crush her if he held her too tightly. "I'm okay now," he said. "And I never blamed you, Linka. I knew my problems were my own fault."

She groaned and shook her head.

"Gi came running, no questions asked," he said, remembering. "I hadn't spoken to her in two years, and then I call her when I'm ... like that... she just jumps on a plane and she's there in 36 hours, beside me."

_If I had called her for help, would she have come to me, too?_ Linka blinked wet lashes against Wheeler's neck, breathing in the deep, warm smell of peppermint gum and musky cigarettes and trying to calm her rapidly pounding heart.

"How long did it take?" she asked hesitantly, her voice muffled against his skin. "Before you were better?"

"She stayed with me for six weeks or so, but it was seven or eight months before I really got myself back on track again. She had to go back to Busan, but she called me every day to help me out."

"And then you came to Russia?" she asked.

"Not for a while. My friend Trish helped me find a job – her boyfriend worked for an environmental newsletter and she figured I could help out. I stayed there for a couple of years and then went into freelancing, researching my own stories and selling them to papers and journals."

"And you like it?" Linka asked. She didn't mean to sound surprised, but Wheeler chuckled.

"Yeah, I do. It's very much like being a Planeteer – just with more paperwork. But I can handle that, you know. Writing is nice and calming. I needed something to focus on and work on after I lost my way like that."

"Hm," she sighed, snuggling into him. "I had never pictured you as a – a writer. Journalist."

He closed his eyes, slowing relaxing his crushing grip on her so they were simply entwined together, warm and comfortable. "I always thought you'd be out studying birds somewhere, travelling the world," he sighed. "I thought that's why you were so hard to track down, until Mishka told me you had started work with a software company."

"It was not supposed to be software," she whispered. "Viktor promised me things that never happened."

Wheeler paused for a long moment, his hand drifting over her back slowly. "I don't trust him," he said softly. "And it's not just because of – of how you look, now."

She rolled away from him but he kept hold of her, keeping her within arm's reach. She huddled into a ball with her back to him.

"I couldn't find him, either," Wheeler said. "I think he went to a lot of trouble, hiding you away. Working for companies that like secrecy."

"I did not mean to hide," Linka said miserably.

"I know, babe."

He felt her relax again.

"I'm right not to trust him, aren't I?" he asked softly.

She nodded slowly, her head not shifting off the pillow.

"You're not sick, are you? Tell me if you are..."

"_Nyet_," she whispered. "It is not sickness."

"So what is it?"

She looked over her shoulder at him. She looked tired and miserable. "I do not want to talk about this anymore," she said.

"Okay." He reached over and combed his fingers gently through her hair. She closed her eyes and rested her head back down on the pillow.

He rolled and curled around her, curving the front of his body to the back of hers and nuzzling her neck with his nose. "I'm tired," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I'm gonna sleep. Don't leave, okay?"

She squeezed his hand in response and he sighed happily.

xXx

Linka lay quietly in Wheeler's arms, enjoying the sweet sensation of his breath against the back of her neck. For the first time in a long time, she felt wonderfully warm. She was tired, but wasn't quite relaxed enough to fall asleep. In the back of her mind, she was still worried about Viktor, and whether or not he'd know about her leaving the house.

She closed her eyes, feeling a little lightheaded. Part of her wished that Wheeler would wake up – but doing so would force her to face reality again and make a decision. Once he was awake, she'd have to go home. She glanced at the bedside clock again. She wanted to leave herself at least an hour's grace for Viktor's arrival from work. If Wheeler didn't wake up soon, she'd have to wake him herself. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, pushing the impending decision to the back of her mind.

She was forced to wake him twenty minutes later anyway, for an entirely different reason. He sat up in alarm after she'd shifted in his arms, sliding to the edge of the mattress and putting her feet on the floor.

"Where are you going?" he asked. His voice was thick and sleepy.

"Nowhere," she whispered. She pointed towards the bathroom and he relaxed, stretching and raking his hands through his hair, waiting for her to come back.

He reached for her when she appeared again. "Come here," he whispered.

She shook her head, standing in the bathroom doorway. "I have to go home," she said. "Viktor will be home soon."

"You're going back to him?" he asked, unable to hide his disappointment.

"What would you have me do?" she asked softly.

"Come with me?" he asked hopefully.

She gave a bitter laugh and folded her arms across her chest. "_Nyet_, Wheeler," she said. "You cannot expect me to do that."

"I don't, really," he answered quietly. "I'm offering, okay?" He gazed at her sadly. "He's not good for you, Linka."

"And you are?" she asked scornfully.

He lowered his eyes and sighed. "I can't leave here until I know you're okay," he said. "And I don't think you're okay with him." He shrugged and fell back into the mattress. "You should call Mishka. He's probably going out of his mind."

"I cannot," she answered in a small voice.

"Why?" Wheeler asked. "He loves you and he's worried about you."

She just shook her head in response and he sighed again.

"What am I supposed to tell him, then?"

She wanted to cry. It sounded like he was angry with her, and no doubt Mishka would be hurt once Wheeler told him she didn't want to speak to him. She _did_ want to speak to him – it was just safer not to. Besides – what could she possibly say, after so long? Was there any sort of justification for the way she had simply abandoned her brother?

Wheeler watched her carefully. He could see fright and anxiety flitting across her face as she thought.

"Here," he said eventually, scrawling Mishka's number across the back of a hotel postcard. "When you're ready."

She shook her head when he offered the card to her. "I cannot take it," she said in a small voice.

"Why not?" he asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Viktor will find it," she said.

Wheeler gave her a look that seemed half worry, half exasperation. "Who cares?" he asked. "He's the boss of your family life, is he?"

"He is the boss of everything," she said, looking down at her hands. "He does not want me to talk to Mishka."

"We figured as much," Wheeler said. "You're going to listen to Viktor, are you?"

She felt a surge of anger and frustration. "It is not my fault," she said desperately, wanting him to understand. "I miss Mishka..."

"Then call him," Wheeler prompted gently, holding the card out again.

She shook her head. "I cannot." Tears glimmered on her lashes.

"Linka, whatever reasons Viktor has dreamt up –"

"_Nyet_, it is not like that," she whispered.

"Then what is it?" Wheeler asked, gazing up at her imploringly. "Tell me. Please. Because I don't want to have to call him again and tell him you're gone and you didn't want to speak to him."

Tears fell to her cheeks and she bit her lip, looking down at the floor. "I have to show you something," she whispered.

He barely heard her. "Okay," he said cautiously.

She hesitated for a brief moment before her thin fingers began working at the buttons on her cardigan. She stripped out of it and let it drop to the floor before she pulled the remainder of her clothing over her head and stood in front of him in her jeans and her bra.

"Oh my God..." He reached out and brushed the tender, bruised skin of her stomach with trembling fingers. She watched the colour fade from his face as he slipped off the bed to stand in front of her, his eyes wide as they scanned the mottled pattern around her ribs.

"I stayed with him," she croaked, tears spilling down her face. "But I did not want this..."

"Oh, babe, of course not," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

Suddenly, everything was too much. She sank against him and sobbed, ridiculously humiliated and ashamed of herself.

"I never wanted this," she gasped, clutching him. "I want things to be the way they used to be..."

In her desperation she switched to Russian, not sure if he'd be able to follow her but not convinced it would matter anyway.

"I don't know who I am anymore," she confessed, squeezing her eyes closed. "I don't know what happened to me. I don't want to be this person. I'm so ashamed of myself – for letting him do these things to me. I've been with him for almost ten years and he's been like this for so long. I'm all alone and it's all my fault..."

He listened in amazement. He understood a lot more than she thought he did – he'd been in Russia for three years, and even if he faltered in his own speech sometimes, he was quite capable of understanding everyone else. In the back of his mind, he admired the way she grasped the language so firmly and confidently, speaking in contractions and quick rhythms. It wasn't at all like how she expressed herself in English.

"I wasn't myself when I got home," she continued, her voice a husky whisper as her tears continued to spill. "I looked for anything to distract me and when Viktor came, Mishka told me not to trust him... I heard them arguing. Mishka said I was too fragile and then I got so angry with him... I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove I could stand on my own feet again and be worth something." Her breath was warm against his neck. "I wanted to forget you."

Without thinking about it, he tightened his arms around her, burying his face in her hair. "You don't need anyone else to be worth something, Linka," he said softly. "You're worth the world. With or without the Planeteers – or anyone else."

She pressed her face into his shoulder, shaking with the effort of holding back more sobs.

"You can't go back to him," Wheeler whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "Don't go back to him and let him do this again."

"I have no choice," she whispered, switching back to English like flicking on a switch. "He has made it impossible for me to leave. I have no money..."

"Come with me," Wheeler said again.

She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes, searching for her clothes again. "I cannot go with you," she said, pulling her shirt over her head. Wheeler winced as she pulled the fabric back over her bruises. He was trying hard to keep his temper in check and not go on a violent tirade against Viktor – hunting him down and hurting him hardly seemed enough, but it was the foremost thought on Wheeler's mind.

She buttoned her cardigan and glanced at the clock. "I have to go."

"Call Mishka," Wheeler begged.

She shook her head hastily. "Viktor will find out."

"Call him now. Before you go."

"There is not enough time," she said, pulling her jacket on.

"So what the hell do I tell him?" Wheeler asked angrily. "That you couldn't call him because you had to go back to the guy beating the hell out of you?"

"_Da_, tell him that," Linka snapped, snatching her scarf off the end of the bed. She stalked to the door. "I should never have come here."

"Linka, don't go," Wheeler begged. "You don't have to come with me, but don't go back to Viktor."

She opened the door and he grabbed her arm, holding her gently.

"I'm gonna be here until Friday," he said. "And my door will always be open to you, okay?"

She stared back at him for a moment before she nodded slowly.

"Mishka misses you," Wheeler whispered. "Everyone misses you."

She tugged her arm free of him and he didn't protest.

"I just had to find you," he explained, leaning against the doorframe. "I know it's been a long time, but I've thought of you every single day since I last saw you. I couldn't move on until I found you again." He shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed as he realised, once again, just how far he'd gone to find her.

"Well, you found me," Linka murmured, slipping her hands into her pockets and glancing towards the elevator. Her fingers brushed against The Queen of Hearts.

"If you never want to hear from me again, tell me now," he whispered. "Because I'll leave you alone."

For a moment he thought he saw the shadow of a smile on her face. "You will?"

"Well, I'll do my best," he admitted. "You might have to tell me a few times."

The smile grew but she still didn't look at him. "Wheeler..."

"Do you love Viktor?" he asked bluntly. "I mean, beneath all the horrible things he does to you, and the control he has over you, do you love him?"

He watched her carefully. She seemed a little flustered by the question, and she shifted nervously before she shook her head quickly.

He reached for her and pulled one of her hands slowly out of her pocket, twining his fingers with hers. He wished he could pull her back into the room and close the door and keep her safe – but she was growing increasingly distressed with each passing moment.

"You don't have to come with me," he said. "I know it's a lot to ask – trusting me again. And I guess after ten years we're both different people anyway and we've got a lot to learn about one another."

She glanced at him and then looked away again. "You do not seem so different," she said.

"Is that good or bad?"

She smiled and shrugged. "Good."

"Oh yeah?"

She smiled again and his heart lifted. "Linka, please don't go back to him," he whispered. "Get some help. Don't let him hurt you anymore. You said you wanted to leave the Planeteers to find your independence – and instead you're living like this."

"I do not _want_ him to hurt me," she explained desperately. "He was not always like this. I know it is wrong. I know I am stupid to stay with him –"

"You're not stupid," Wheeler said immediately. "But you deserve better than this."

She pulled her hand free of him. "Last time I saw you, you said I deserved better than you, too."

"You do," he said, and his heart pulsed painfully at the memory of their last conversation. "But I never hit you."

"You still hurt me," she answered. "More than Viktor has ever hurt me. I _loved_ you. I have never loved him. Somehow, that makes what you did much worse." She turned her back and headed for the elevator.

"So that's it?" he called after her. "That's where we're gonna leave things now?"

She pressed the button for the elevator and waited nervously.

"Why is it so hard to leave him and so easy to leave me?" he asked, clenching his hands anxiously.

She looked back at him in surprise. He thought he could see tears glimmering on her lashes but with the distance between them, it was hard to be sure.

"It is _never_ easy to leave you," she answered, tearing her gaze from him and looking up at the lights above the elevator.

Leaving his door open, he followed her and grabbed her gently, kissing her and wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, babe," he whispered. He could hear the elevator coming and he bumped his nose against hers. "I'll never do it again."

"I have heard that promise too many times from too many people," she answered coldly, arching away from him. "I have to go home."

"Why?" he asked desperately, unable to understand. "Come on, Linka. You really haven't changed _that_ much. You're really gonna go back to this guy and let him keep doing this to you?"

"Stop asking me to explain it!" she said, her voice high-pitched and thin.

He glanced around, wondering if anyone had their eyes pressed to the peep-holes in the door to watch them.

"Please don't go," he whispered, his hands still on her waist. "Please."

"He will be home soon," she answered, refusing to look at him.

"Stay here with me," he said, pulling her closer, relieved that she had stopped holding herself so rigid.

She shook her head and the elevator chimed. The doors slid open and she turned her head and looked into the empty carriage.

"Five more minutes?" he asked softly. "Just five minutes..." He nuzzled the soft curve of her neck and she sighed and rested against him, listening to the doors close and the elevator roll away as someone called it back down to the lobby.

"I love you," he whispered, wrapping his arms all the way around her and burying his face in her shoulder.

"You love someone you knew ten years ago, Wheeler," she answered. "She does not exist anymore."

"Yes she does," he muttered. "She's still in there."

She shook her head but her throat had closed up and her eyes were aching with the effort of holding back tears. She was growing weaker in her insistence to leave and she couldn't help but feel frightened by that – she didn't want Wheeler to have this effect on her, and she didn't want to follow _his_ persuasions any more than she wanted to follow Viktor's.

_But Wheeler's intentions are good_, she thought helplessly. _If I stay, he will look after me..._ She pressed her face into the warm curve of his neck and his shoulder, breathing deeply and trying to fix everything about the way he felt and moved and touched and smelled into her mind.

Her thoughts were in turmoil, and as always, two voices spoke up. One was her own, quiet and soft and desperate. The voice Viktor had tried to silence.

The other was her own voice too, but it used Viktor's words and his same insistent demand.

The voices battled each other rapidly, and she closed her eyes tightly and gripped Wheeler's shirt in her fists.

_He's going to be home soon,_ The Viktor Voice said. _You shouldn't have disobeyed him._ _If you're not home when he arrives, he'll have questions, and you don't have any good answers. He'll have to teach you a lesson..._

_I shouldn't need good answers_, the other voice whispered. _He has no right to treat me like this._

Linka bit her lip as The Viktor Voice laughed. His scorn was rampant even in her own mind – there was no escape from him. The threats the voice made were very real. She knew that failing to return home before Viktor did could end in a cracked rib and bruised kidneys.

Wheeler felt her tears against his skin and he held her close, kissing the side of her face and breathing against her shoulder slowly.

He had never been very good at standing back and letting unfair treatment happen. Gi had once accused him of having a hero's complex – needing to rush in and rescue everyone all the time and be their saviour. They'd argued about it, but he knew she was right – or, at least, dangerously close to being right.

He didn't want to be Linka's _hero_, necessarily. _She_ was a hero – he had seen her do amazing things as a Planeteer, and he could recall them all and still be marvelled by the bravery and fury Linka had always displayed during times of desperation or unfairness. He refused to believe that anyone could dampen that fire inside her.

"You deserve better than him," he said miserably. "I'm not saying it's me, Linka, but you deserve better than him. Don't let him tell you otherwise."

Knowing she'd break into heavy sobbing if she spoke, she simply held herself still, her eyes tightly closed and her teeth pressed anxiously into her lower lip.

Wheeler could feel her shaking with the effort of holding her sobs back. He wished she'd just let it all go, but he didn't want to make things harder for her, so he chose to ignore it.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he whispered. "I know it must have contributed to how you felt when Viktor came along. Your self-confidence can't have been at a very comfortable level. But Linka, I'm an idiot, and you always knew better than to listen to anything I ever said."

The sudden force of surprised laughter ended in a loud sob, and she squirmed closer to him.

"For God's sake," he whispered, sounding slightly amused even in his frustration. "I know why you won't listen to me, but don't listen to Viktor either, okay? The smartest voice was always the one in here." He touched her temple lightly and stroked her hair back, leaning away from her to look down at her face.

The Linka Voice spoke up loudly. _See? Wheeler understands! We have to stick together and we have to get out, Linka. If we stay with Viktor now, after everything that's happened this afternoon, we'll never get out. We have to leave today or Viktor will have us forever._

She pulled away from Wheeler slowly and wiped her eyes, feeling shaky and tired. He kept hold of one of her hands, but pressed the button for the elevator, not wanting to distress her any further by keeping her beyond the five minutes he had asked for.

When the elevator arrived she slipped free of him and stepped into the carriage, turning to face him. She ran her eyes over his face, soaking in every last detail.

"I love you," he said again. "That's just the way it is, Linka. That's just the way it's always gonna be."

She stared back at him, not sure what to say back to him._ It's too hard_, she thought desperately. _Please don't love me, Wheeler. It's too hard._

"If you need anything – anything at all – come and find me," he whispered. "I'll be here, okay?"

She nodded and he gave her a small smile, taking a slight step back as though he knew the elevator doors were about to close.

"_Do svidaniya,_ then," he said.

He saw new tears glimmer behind her lashes and she nodded again, looking down at the floor. "_Do svidaniya_," she whispered.

He watched her until the doors slid closed and she left him. Again.

xXx


	4. Please Don't Hurt Me

Wheeler blew a stream of cigarette smoke out into the cold air and watched it hang there for a moment before the breeze tore it apart.

Finally, he drew his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled through the names. He couldn't put it off any longer.

Mishka answered on the first ring. "Is she there?" he asked desperately.

"No. She's gone. Sorry, man." He flicked ash towards the ground. "I tried."

"Gone?"

"Back to Viktor." Wheeler chewed his lip for a moment, debating whether or not to tell Mishka everything. Finally, he decided he couldn't hide anything. "He's hitting her."

Mishka choked. "What?" he asked, enraged. "She is hurt? You let her go back –"

"I couldn't stop her!" he snapped angrily. "What do you want me to do? Handcuff her and throw her in the trunk of my car? I can't make her leave if she doesn't want to."

"She went back to him?" he asked desperately. "Why? Is she badly hurt?"

Wheeler rubbed the tip of his nose with his thumb. "It looked pretty horrible," he admitted softly. "I dunno what I can do."

Mishka sighed heavily.

"She said she wanted to talk to you," Wheeler said. "She just – she got scared. And Viktor has made her feel pretty helpless."

"I will kill him!" Mishka snarled.

Wheeler dragged on his cigarette. "It took a lot of self control to let her go," he admitted. "She's the only one that can help herself though, Mishka."

"Linka would not let someone do that to her," he said desperately.

Wheeler suddenly realised he had a headache. "I didn't think so either," he said. "I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it. And she's different – frightened and nervous." He crushed his cigarette against the side of a trash can before dropping it in. "He's had ten years to change her and control her."

Mishka groaned. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Wheeler admitted. "I think I've fucked up, Mishka. I don't even know where she's gone home to. But I know where she works – I guess I could go in and try and talk to her again."

"I suppose I was expecting it to be easier than this," Mishka admitted heavily. "It was stupid of me."

"Nah," Wheeler answered. "It's okay to be hopeful. I was too. And I _never_ expected Linka to be like this..."

"How bad was it?" he asked hesitantly.

"Bad," Wheeler admitted. "It's been going on for a long time, I'd say. And she spent the whole time here looking at the clock. She seems so frightened." He cringed and kicked his toe into the pavement. "I shouldn't have let her go back," he groaned. "I should have kept her here, where she'd be safe."

"Talk to her tomorrow," Mishka ordered. "Get her away from him."

"It's not that easy," Wheeler said. "She got angry with me when I tried to get her away. It's up to her, man. I told her I'd wait for her but there's not much else I can do."

Mishka swore under his breath. "I know," he admitted. "It is hard for me to sit back and do nothing."

"I know exactly what you mean," Wheeler said, fidgeting and trying to resist reaching into his pocket for another cigarette. "I'm alternating between wanting to snatch her up and run off with her, or track Viktor down and beat the shit out of him."

"Do both," Mishka suggested.

Wheeler gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah."

He heard a soft voice in the background.

"I have to go," Mishka said after a moment. "Natalya needs help with the boys."

"Okay," Wheeler answered. "Look, don't worry too much. I'm not done yet. I'm gonna get her out. Okay?"

"I know," Mishka said. "I trust you. Just – tell her I love her."

"I did, and I will," he promised. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"_Da_, okay," Mishka agreed. "Thank you, Wheeler."

Wheeler hung up and eventually gave in, scrounging around in his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. He didn't think he deserved thanks.

_I let her go back to that creep_, he thought. _I may as well have punched her myself._

xXx

Linka leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the cab window, feeling sick. There were only forty five minutes until Viktor got home.

In her mind, she ran through each room of the house, wondering if it would be obvious she hadn't been home all day. She wasn't entirely sure what he had expected her to do while he was at work – but he had ordered her to stay home. For the hundredth time, she wondered why exactly her contract had been terminated.

The Linka Voice answered her, and she sounded surprisingly bitter. _So he has even more control over us,_ she said.

The Viktor Voice was cruel and delighted. _You have nothing left but Viktor, now. Nobody else wants you and you know exactly what happens when you try to trust other people. You get hurt, Linka. Viktor gave you a job and he's given you ten years of assurance and direction. Other people hide the truth from you in order to hurt you, but you always know where you stand with Viktor... If you keep him happy, things will be better..._

The Linka Voice was quiet.

She cast her mind back to Wheeler, and how it had felt lying in his arms that afternoon. Her skin warmed again, just at the thought of it. Her mind was too overwhelmed to remember anything else but that warm, gentle touch.

The cab stopped and she gazed out across the small yard to the front door of the house she shared with Viktor. She dreaded crossing the threshold. Closing the door behind her always meant she was alone with Viktor and his temper.

She gazed at the door, vaguely aware that the driver had tallied her total and was asking for his money.

The Linka Voice started screeching at her. _Do it!_ she cried. _Do it, Linka! If we go inside and put a meal on the stove we will _never_ get away from Viktor. Wheeler is right – we deserve better and we don't want this, we don't want this!_

"Can you wait five minutes?" she blurted, thrusting a handful of notes at the driver. "I will be out again."

Surprised, he nodded, and she scrambled out of the cab and ran to the front door, her keys in her hand.

She didn't bother closing the door again. She raced straight through to the bedroom, panting desperately, her ribs aching and her heart racing as she grabbed an overnight bag from the bottom of the closet and began stuffing clothes into it. She emptied drawers onto the middle of the bed and grabbed the first items of clothing she could see. She snatched up her passport and stuffed it into a side pocket. She ran into the bathroom and grabbed her toiletry bag, shoving everything down and forcing the zip along.

Trembling with adrenaline, she grabbed the bag and turned towards the door again.

Viktor stood in her way, watching her quietly, his arms folded.

She gasped and dropped the bag like it had physically burned her. "Viktor..."

The Viktor Voice was smug, as though somehow Linka's own thought patterns had managed to call Viktor home early. _Look what you've done now, Linka. If you'd just behaved yourself, you wouldn't be in this mess now, would you?_

"Where are you going, Linka?" Viktor asked, looking at the bag at her feet before flicking his eyes back up to meet hers.

She shook her head, fighting for breath. Panic was creeping through her veins and paralysing her. "Nowhere," she whispered. "I was – I was just..." She trailed off helplessly, tears already cold on her face.

The Linka Voice was just a whisper. _I thought we could do it. Don't let him stop us now, please? We want to get out of here, remember?_

"I called after lunch," Viktor said softly. "You didn't answer the phone."

She was pressed against the wall now. He hadn't moved, but she had backed away, already predicting what was going to come.

_Why did you think you could get away? You spend three hours with Wheeler and suddenly you lose your mind_, The Viktor Voice said.

"I came home early and you weren't here," Viktor whispered, stepping towards her.

"Please don't hurt me," she blurted. "I didn't mean to make you angry, Viktor. I'll behave myself, I promise..."

"Shut up," he snapped, standing in front of her. "Where were you?"

She moved without thinking. She had seen his fist clench and she had seen his eyes glint dangerously, and she knew what was coming. She simply reached out and closed her hand around the first object that came to hand before she swung it around and crashed it against the side of his head.

_Good,_ The Linka Voice breathed. _Now, run._

She dropped the lamp as he stumbled sideways, and she ran, snatching up her bag and pelting for the front door.

She could hear Viktor curse, but she had reached the front step again and in three hurried strides, was out on the sidewalk and had thrown herself into the backseat of the taxi again.

"Go!" she shrieked. "Go, hurry!"

She heard the tyres squeal against the pavement as the driver, reacting to her panic, stomped on the accelerator and skidded the car out onto the road, taking her away from the house, and away from Viktor.

xXx

Wheeler rubbed his eyes tiredly, watching the sky darken over the city. He felt utterly miserable, though his mood changed when his cell rang. He glanced at the number on the screen, and though he didn't recognise it, the international code told him it was coming from Australia. Only two people ever called him from Australia.

"Hello?"

"Hey!"

"Hey Bubbles," he said, grinning.

"Very funny," Gi answered dryly.

He chuckled. "Glad you rang."

"As you should be," she answered smugly. "How's the story going?"

"Oh, the story," he said, vaguely remembering he was supposed to be writing an article. "Yeah, I haven't touched it."

"Are you okay?" she asked in concern.

"Not really," he admitted. "Where are you? You're calling from a weird number."

"Still at work," she said. "I'm about to go home but I figured they could pay for an international phone call to St Petersburg."

He chuckled. "Nice one."

"So what's up? Work stuff?"

"No," he sighed.

"Linka stuff?"

He grinned, admiring the way she could pin his problems down so quickly. "Yeah," he said.

"I don't suppose you've found her?" Gi asked.

He could hear her shuffling papers. It seemed she had given up – that she had asked that question so often she didn't expect anything but the answer he usually gave.

"I found her," he said. "I saw her today."

There was a loud clunk, and he heard her swear, and papers crumpled and there was a loud crackle on the line.

"Are you there?" she asked in a panic.

"What happened?"

"You found her? I dropped the phone. Oh my God..."

"I found her," he said, smiling to himself.

Gi started to cry.

"She's in Moscow. _I'm_ in Moscow. I found her last night and she nearly fainted with the shock of it. I'm in a hotel and she came to see me today, but we had a bit of a – a disagreement," he said. "She went home."

"You fought with her?" Gi asked angrily. "Wheeler!"

"It wasn't my fault!" he argued back. "I only pointed out the obvious."

"You bloody idiot," she snapped, dragging up one of the many Australian idioms she liked to use against him now and then.

"You want to hear the story or not?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes," she sighed. "Go on."

"She's still with this Viktor guy," Wheeler said. "And you know how I've always thought he was shady? I mean, Mishka never liked him but the fact he disappeared off the face of the planet and took Linka with him –"

"I know," she interrupted. "He's shady. Go on."

"He's hitting her," Wheeler said frankly. "She's purple."

Gi groaned. "Is she okay?"

"She's different," he said, the realisation finally hitting him fully as he tried to find words to describe her to Gi. "She's so thin... Craig saw her at the software conference he went to, and he thought she had cancer. And I thought he was right, too, but I think it's just the stress she's under. She's got these big black circles under her eyes... And she looks _terrified_ all the time."

"How could she let someone do that?" Gi asked softly. "She was always so strong."

"Until we did what we did," he said, leaning his back against the wall. "We really hurt her."

"I know," she whispered. "We both know. We've been through it time and time again."

"Yeah." He shivered. Night was falling fast and it was cold out on the street. "Anyway. She got home and it was only a couple of months before Viktor took her away and promised her everything she wanted – a nice job, new friends, new duties. She was desperate to leave everything behind and start anew, and he took advantage of that. He really manipulated her. And he's clever, Gi. He knew exactly what he was doing and by the time she realised, it was too late for her to get out."

"It was never too late," Gi said desperately. "Why didn't she call us?"

"Three guesses," he snapped.

She sighed. "Yeah, okay. But she talked to you? She came and saw you?"

"Uh-huh." He closed his eyes. He regretted falling asleep. There were so many questions he had wanted to ask Linka, and so many things that needed to be said – and he'd fallen asleep.

"Is she mad?" Gi asked timidly.

"We didn't really mention it," he admitted. "Not a whole lot was said. But I told her I'd be here for her. I guess the next move is up to her."

"If she's been with Viktor for ten years I can't see her leaving anytime soon," Gi said bitterly.

"Viktor convinced her she didn't have anywhere to go," he said, shrugging. "I just hope she trusts me. I've gotta get her out."

"You will," Gi said confidently. "You found her. You've got a way of crawling under people's skin. Like a parasite."

He snorted. "Gee, thanks."

She laughed. "It'll be okay," she sighed.

He could hear a new-found happiness in her voice, and suddenly he was grinning too. "Yeah," he said. He laughed. "I found her!"

"You found her!" she squealed. "You found Linka!"

He laughed again, and he felt the weight he'd been carrying for the past ten years lift away from him and float off into the air. "Oh, man," he sighed. "I can't believe I found her."

"I don't suppose you mentioned me?" Gi asked timidly.

"I told her you missed her and you asked about her all the time. She seemed a little hurt that we'd kept in touch, I guess, but I explained everything. I think things will be okay."

"I hope so," Gi whispered. "Do you think I could tell the others? Ma-Ti is definitely going to –"

"Yeah, tell them," Wheeler said. "But don't expect anything too much from Linka just yet."

"No, okay," she agreed. "I know there's still a long way to go."

He shivered again and finally turned back towards the hotel, keeping himself hunched against the cold. "So any reason you were calling?" he asked. "How's work?"

"No, it doesn't matter," she said. "Finding Linka is all I want to talk about. But I think I'd better go. It's really late here. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Hey, maybe wait a little on telling the other guys I've found her," he said suddenly. "Just until I can talk to her again. I really don't have much information and I think I need to see her again. I'm gonna swing by her office and try and have another chat with her."

"Well don't argue with her this time," Gi warned.

"I'll try not to," he muttered. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," she sighed. "I'm so glad you found her."

"Me too."

"If it won't upset her too much, can you give her a message from me?" she asked, somewhat nervously.

"Sure," he promised.

"Tell her I'm sorry. And that I love her and I want to talk to her."

"I'll pass it on," he said. "Go and get some sleep, Little Mermaid."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Talk tomorrow. Love you."

"I love you too," he answered. "Bye."

"Bye."

He slipped his cell back into his pocket and hurried back to the hotel. Suddenly, all he wanted was to bunker down in his hotel room with a cup of coffee and his half-written article.

xXx

After seeing how distressed Linka was, the cab driver had kindly refused the second fare she had tried to offer him. It was probably just as well – she only had about half of what she owed him.

She hurried through the hotel lobby, aware that her dishevelled state and tear-streaked face had attracted worried glances from several people. She looked about nervously as she waited for the elevator, convinced that Viktor had followed her and was waiting for the right moment to come up behind her and wrap his hands around her throat.

_Don't stop to think,_ The Linka Voice said comfortingly. _Just get to Wheeler and then he'll look after you._

The Viktor Voice was scornful. _Don't be stupid, Linka. You know Viktor will come after you. Just imagine what he'll do to you when he finds you..._

She scurried into the elevator, keeping her head down to avoid looking at herself in the mirrored walls, and jabbed the button for Wheeler's floor.

_You shouldn't be doing this_, The Viktor Voice continued_. How can you even think about doing this? Viktor will find you. And Wheeler won't want you anyway. Encroaching on his life like this... You'll be just as dependent on him as you were on Viktor..._

She gripped the handles of her overnight bag anxiously.

There were people waiting for the elevator as it came to the ninth floor. She sidestepped them nervously and hurried down the corridor to Wheeler's room. Her stomach hurt and she found she could no longer stand up straight – but she had made it.

She patted her palm loudly against the door, breathing heavily. After a few seconds she knocked again, pressing her ear to the door. Her heart sank and she felt icy terror grip her chest.

The Viktor Voice laughed. She heard it, using _her_ laugh, spinning it high and cold and unfamiliar. _He's gone and left you! He knew you didn't really want him and now he's gone. Viktor really is all you have left, and you've gone and made him angry. Didn't I tell you, Linka? Didn't I tell you that Viktor is the only one you can trust? Everyone else will hurt you. Nobody wants you..._

She burst into hysterical tears, hammering on the door with her palm, her bag abandoned at her feet. "Wheeler!" she wailed. She pressed her ear to the door again, but nothing shifted on the other side.

The elevator chimed again and she spun with horror, knowing that it was Viktor – he had followed her and he had come to take her home.

Wheeler looked up in alarm after stepping out of the elevator and into the corridor. "Linka?"

She ran towards him and collided with him heavily, sobbing.

"I left," she gasped. "I left him but he will come after me and –"

"Shh," he soothed, recovering well from his initial shock. He cupped her face in his hands and watched her fighting for air, trying to gulp it in.

"Calm down, babe," he whispered. "It's okay. You'll be okay. Come on." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her towards his room, opening the door and ushering her inside, stooping to pick up her bag.

She spent several minutes just sobbing into his chest. He kept his arms wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly, whispering gentle promises and soothing noises into her ear.

Eventually she quietened, but she didn't pull away, and he didn't let her go.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked after a moment.

"I hit him," she whispered. "I hit him with a lamp."

Wheeler felt a surge of pride and a sudden urge to laugh with delight, though he forced it back. "You did?"

She nodded slowly. "He will be so angry," she said, and she shivered.

"You'll be okay," he promised again. He stroked her hair gently, rocking her as she huddled into his body.

"He will try to find me," she said.

"Well let's get out of here then," he answered, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her gently. "Let's go."

"You will hide me?" she breathed with relief, closing her eyes and clutching at the front of his jacket with trembling hands.

He kissed her again. "If you want to call it hiding," he said. "But I want to tell you right now, Linka, that I'm not gonna stop you if you want to leave, okay? Nobody is in charge of you but _you_, and if you change your mind..." He trailed off and gazed down at her, wanting to know that she understood.

She nodded, but she couldn't meet his gaze. He kissed the top of her head again.

"I've gotta pack," he said. "Then we'll get out of here."

She nodded, but closed her eyes and clutched him weakly. "Please don't hurt me," she whispered.

xXx

She had spent the first hour of the drive in a state of nervous panic, glancing out of the back window of the car with wide, frightened eyes. The Queen of Hearts playing card was tucked against her palm and he'd seen her running her thumb across it now and then.

He had tried to calm her down with useless conversation about the weather and the fact that Christmas decorations were still scattered about in store windows and on lamp posts. He'd apologised for the lack of a radio in the car – the heater worked, at least, but the radio could never put out any sound except mild static. He'd explained that he'd driven all over the place, looking for her. A car was the cheapest and easiest transport he could find, given all the travelling he had to do, but he still felt guilty every time he got behind the wheel. He had never been able to forget the various smog-related missions the Planeteers had been sent on.

Eventually his inane chatter had calmed her down, and now she slept peacefully, her head resting against the window and her face blissfully smooth and calm. She slept through the first stop for gas, and the quick, muttered phone call he had put in to Mishka, which really only consisted of the sentence _Get to Sankt-Peterburg as soon as you can._

She slept through the panic-inducing moment the car slipped on a patch of black ice and fishtailed wildly. She slept through the coughing fit Wheeler had after he hit a pothole and swallowed a peppermint tic-tac without expecting to. She slept through the flashing patches of streetlights as he entered yet another town and continued straight through on the way back to his tiny apartment in St Petersburg.

Now and then he'd reach over and brush her jacket with his fingertips, just to make sure she was really there. He listened to the hiss of the car's tyres on the wet road and Linka's gentle breathing and he sighed happily, hardly able to believe that she was sitting beside him after all of these years, and that his search for her had finally ended.

He remembered the day he'd finally decided to come to Russia. He smiled to himself.

_Feels like a lifetime ago..._

xXx

Wheeler blinked and lifted his head. The afternoon sun streamed in through the window, hot and yellow. He groaned and took a swig from the cold coffee on his desk, washing the stale, bitter taste of cigarettes away. He had a pounding headache, which he instantly blamed upon the intense heat of the sun, blazing in through the dusty panes of glass.

He realised what had woken him – his cell phone was buzzing wildly in his pocket. He squinted at the screen and sighed.

"Hey."

"Hi!" Gi said brightly. "How are you?"

"Tired," he muttered, rubbing his hand over his face. Three days worth of stubble graced his jaw.

"Not sleeping?" Gi asked sympathetically.

"Hmph," he said noncommittally. "How're you?"

"Hmph," she answered.

"Like that, is it?" he asked, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. "What's up, then? Spill it."

She paused for what seemed to be a long time. "Jin wants to get tests done," she whispered. "I don't want to."

"Tests?" he asked, feeling more awake suddenly. "Like what?"

"What do you think?" she asked, sounding exasperated. "We've been trying to conceive for a year and nothing's happened. I'm gonna be poked and prodded by all sorts of people to find out if there's something _wrong_ with me."

"Oh, Gi," he said in dismay. "I'm sure it's nothing. I'm sure – I mean – sometimes it just takes a while for some people. Doesn't it?"

"I don't know," she answered miserably. "We had a bit of an argument about it."

"Another one?" he challenged.

"This was different," she insisted. "I said I wanted to go back to work for a bit and he lost it. Said that any extra stress would make things harder."

"Did you tell him you're feeling stressed at home?" Wheeler asked.

"No."

"Well you should," he said instantly.

"How are _your_ stress levels?" she countered. "I hope you're okay."

"I'm fine," he answered breezily. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You know very well," Gi answered, not bothering with any bullshit. "Amy's gone."

He felt a familiar pang of grief in his chest. "Thanks for reminding me," he muttered.

"So what are you going to do now?" Gi asked.

"Enjoy bachelorhood," he said bitterly. "I don't know. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Go and find Linka," she explained patiently. "Put it to rest, one way or the other."

Grief and anger wrenched at him. "Don't," he snapped. "I don't want to talk about her."

"You think about her all the time!" Gi cried. "At the very least, you need to get some closure. Find her and decide what to do next. Not knowing where she is or what she's doing is going to destroy you."

He bit his lip, barely keeping back a bitter retort. Deep down, he knew she was right. It _was_ destroying him. It had sure as hell destroyed his relationship with Amy. He was still in love with a girl he hadn't seen in six and a half years, and Amy had grown tired of waiting for him to forget.

"She's probably married by now," he said, running his fingers along the edge of his desk.

"So go and find out," Gi answered patiently. "You can write overseas, right? It might be harder to research some of the stories, but I'm sure there are issues in Russia you can write about. And you know the basics of the language, thanks to Amy."

"The bare bones of it," he scoffed. "I can say hello and goodbye, and a huge list of swear words. That's about it."

"You know more than that," she said frankly. "A lot more. Enough to get by. And being immersed in a language is always the best way to learn."

"You've gotten bossier since you got married," he muttered.

She laughed. "No, I haven't. I lose my arguments with Jin all the time."

"Well, you win them with me," he said. "If that's any consolation."

"A little," she admitted. "You're going to go, right?"

His mind raced. He supposed he _could_ go – at least try to find Mishka. Shame had always prevented him from trying to contact Linka's brother. If Mishka knew what Wheeler and Gi had done, Wheeler had no doubt he'd have his face punched in. But maybe he deserved that. Hell, he _did_ deserve that. And he'd gladly take it if it meant he could find out where Linka had gone.

"Yeah," he said eventually. "I'm gonna go to Russia and I'm gonna find Linka. Even if it's just to find out she still hates me." He ran his hand across his rough cheek. "Not knowing is worse than anything."

xXx

Linka lifted her head and blinked groggily as the car slowed. "Sankt-Peterburg?" she asked, her voice still husky with sleep.

"Not yet," Wheeler answered. "I've gotta get some gas." He stopped the car and sighed, giving her a tired smile. "Want to get out and stretch your legs?"

She nodded, but she was nervous. She couldn't help it – she was terrified that Viktor had somehow followed them and was waiting for the right moment to come and hurt her again.

She followed Wheeler out of the car and stood at his side, shivering as her body tried to adjust to the icy night air.

"We won't be home for another two or three hours," Wheeler said.

She blinked in surprise. "I have been asleep for so long," she said, feeling a little embarrassed. "I did not mean to..."

He shook his head and leaned against the car as he held the fuel pump. "It's okay," he said. "You feel better?"

She shrugged and hugged her arms across her chest. "It is cold out here," she said after a moment.

"Get back in the car," he murmured, brushing her cheek with a light fingertip. "Warmer in there."

She shook her head and stepped closer to him, and he lifted his arm so she could huddle against his side. He kissed her brow and they stood there until the gas tank was full.

"Come on," he sighed. "Stretch your legs, take a bathroom break, and we'll grab a coffee and hit the road again. We'll be home in no time."

She looked at him apologetically. "You are so tired," she said.

"I'm fine," he answered. "Honestly. I'll sleep when I get home, but right now, I'm okay." He kissed her softly, brushing his lips against hers. "It's worth it," he promised.

She gave him a timid, embarrassed smile, and he took her hand and they walked together towards the lit-up convenience store.

**xXx**


	5. Reunion

"It's not much," Wheeler said, feeling embarrassed as he closed the door of his apartment behind them. "It's pretty small. The bedroom has my desk crammed into it, which means there's even less space. But it was only meant to be temporary. I guess I just got kinda stuck here."

She gazed around at the worn, roughly-patched furniture and the threadbare carpets. She glimpsed discarded pizza boxes in the kitchen and a pile of clean laundry on the end of the sofa in the living room. The bathroom was dark, but there were wet towels on the floor. His bedroom was down a short, dark passage, and she could see his unmade bed.

"Sorry about the mess," he said.

She smiled. "It is wonderful," she breathed. "Your own apartment."

He laughed and hugged her with one arm, still holding their bags with his other hand. "Glad you like it, babe."

She smiled at him and followed him through to the bedroom.

"You can sleep here," he said, dumping the bags on the floor. "I know the bed's not made, but I put clean sheets on the night before I left, so I don't think it'll be too terrible to sleep in or anything."

"Where will you sleep?" she asked.

"On the couch," he said, grabbing one of the pillows. "I'll be okay."

"_Nyet_, Wheeler, I cannot move you from your own bed," she protested.

"Honestly, it's okay," he said. "It's comfortable. I've fallen asleep there a lot, in front of the television."

"I cannot," she protested again. "I will sleep on the couch."

He snorted. "Don't make me arm wrestle you to win this. I think I'd beat you." He raised his eyebrow and she couldn't help but smile.

"I gotta go sort through that pile of clothing on the couch," he said tiredly. "Hop into bed, babe, and I'll see you in the morning." He kissed her cheek and smiled at her before he wandered back into the living room. She could hear him sorting through the clothing – though it really just sounded like it had all been heaped upon one of the armchairs.

She pulled her own clothing out of her bag, a little dismayed by the small amount of possessions she had with her. There were really only a couple of full outfits – in her hurry, she hadn't noticed anything she'd tossed in. She had a few items of clothing, her toiletries, her passport... But she had forgotten spare shoes, and her cell phone had been left behind in all the confusion.

"Wheeler?" she called softly.

He appeared in the doorway. "Mm?"

"I have no pyjamas," she said, blushing slightly. "Do you have something I could borrow?"

He grinned. "Don't you want to sleep naked in my bed?"

She opened her mouth to retort, but he laughed and shook his head before she could respond. He opened the door to his closet and pawed through a pile of clothing on the floor.

"Here you go," he said, tossing a large pair of thick, warm pyjamas at her. "Though I wouldn't be surprised if you just slid right out of them. We're gonna have to fatten you up a bit, babe."

"_Da_, I know," she agreed. "I am very thin."

He stroked her hair gently. "Yeah. You'll be okay."

She nodded.

"Night then," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams," she whispered.

He left her, and she hurried to dress, shivering slightly as she exposed her skin to the cold bedroom. There was no way the trousers were going to stay up, even after she'd knotted the drawstring, so she kicked them aside – but the top was well against her thighs and hung over her fingertips. She huddled beneath the blankets in the middle of the bed, listening to Wheeler settle himself on the sofa in the other room. She could smell the warm scent of his skin and his shampoo on the pillows, and she breathed deeply.

She wasn't sure how long it was before she gave up on sleep. Every little noise spooked her, and she hadn't been able to face turning the lamp off. She crept out into the living room, nervously pacing through the short, dark passage in the middle of the apartment, her eyes moving uneasily from shadow to shadow.

"Wheeler?" she asked softly.

He sat up, looking sleepy. "You okay?"

She shook her head nervously. "I do not want to be alone," she admitted.

He watched her for a moment. "Okay," he said. He got up and trailed his blanket after him, wrapping an arm around her waist and keeping it there even as they both snuggled beneath the blankets of his bed.

"Better?" he asked tiredly.

She nodded and he kissed the back of her neck. "Night, babe," he sighed.

She closed her eyes and felt her muscles slowly relax as Wheeler wriggled his body up against hers. "Goodnight," she whispered.

xXx

Linka lifted her head. Light was showing around the edges of the curtains, indicating that both she and Wheeler had slept late – but the light wasn't what had woken her.

She heard the front door close gently and she sat up in alarm, reaching over to shake Wheeler awake.

"Wheeler!" she whispered frantically. "Wheeler, wake up!"

He sat up groggily, squinting at her. "What?"

"Someone is coming in!" she whispered. Tears of panic and fright sprang to her eyes and her heart was hammering frantically in her chest.

Wheeler cocked his head. Someone was shifting about in the living room.

"Hang on," he muttered, waving at her to stay put as he stumbled out of bed. He disappeared and Linka waited with bated breath.

Wheeler knew who it was going to be – only one person had the spare keys to his apartment, and it was all because there was a chance of Linka arriving there one day. He grinned sleepily as he saw Mishka tucking his spare keys back into his pocket.

"You made it," he said, yawning.

Mishka smiled nervously. "I took the first flight I could find. Is she here?"

Wheeler nodded. "Yeah, hang on a second..." He stretched and returned to the bedroom to find Linka sitting in the middle of the bed, looking pale and afraid.

"It's okay," he said gently. "Come out here."

"It is not Viktor?" she asked desperately.

"No. Come on." He held his hand out and she took it timidly and followed him closely, gripping his fingers tightly.

Even if he hadn't been able to understand what they were saying, he would have left Linka and her brother alone anyway. He retreated after she tore herself out of his gentle grasp and flung herself into Mishka's arms. He could hear her crying and trying to speak, but her own desperate sobs kept interrupting her. Wheeler backed away and gave them privacy.

"Oh, little Linka," Mishka sighed, gripping her tightly. "I have missed you so much..."

She could only sob in response, digging her fingers into the thick, damp fibres of his jacket and hiding her face against his shoulder.

"I am so sorry," she wept. "I didn't mean to leave you..."

"Shh," he said, smiling and easing away from her slightly so he could see her face. "I know," he said gently. "Are you all right? You're so thin. Are you sick?"

She shook her head and let go of him with one hand to wipe her tears away. "I'll be okay now," she promised quietly, her breath shuddering and sighing as she tried to steady herself again.

She lifted a hand to his face and looked at him with a small smile. "You cut your hair..."

He laughed and hugged her tightly. "Is it strange?"

"It looks good," she promised, her voice tired and small as she buried her face in his jacket again. "I have missed you so much..."

He kissed her forehead and shifted away from her, his hands gentle against her upper arms so he could steady her and look at her properly. He smiled.

"My little sister," he sighed. "Look at you."

She seemed self-conscious, but she smiled at him nervously. "I look terrible," she admitted.

"No," he murmured, stroking her hair gently. "Still beautiful. You look just like Mother."

Her eyes widened and she flushed, obviously pleased, but not sure she was worthy of the praise. "No I don't," she whispered.

"You do. Just a little thin."

She nodded. "Wheeler says he will fix that."

Mishka laughed and sank into one of the battered armchairs, pulling her with him. He wrapped his arms around her again.

"He's been looking for you for a long time," he said, kissing the top of her head.

She nodded. "I know." She lifted her head, shifting her cheek against his shoulder. "I'm glad the two of you could help one another," she whispered.

"Me too," Mishka admitted. "I didn't trust him at first." He plucked at the pyjamas she was wearing. "I wonder if I should trust him now..."

"He started sleeping on the couch," she said, feeling the sudden need to defend him. "I went and got him because I didn't want to be alone..."

He chuckled and shook his head and she relaxed. She rested her head against his shoulder again.

"I've missed you," she sighed. "I never wanted to leave you behind, Mishka – I was so stupid to trust Viktor."

"Never mind," he said gently. "Wheeler found you, and we both have you back now."

She nodded and smiled. "Tell me how he helped you," she requested quietly.

xXx

Mishka sighed as there was a loud knock at the door. He'd only just sat down – fourteen hours after leaving the house earlier that day. He briefly considered just staying where he was, enveloped by the sofa cushions by the warm glow of the fire, but whoever it was would surely have noticed the lights on. It was evident that someone was home.

He couldn't help feeling hopeful as he got up and headed towards the front door – no matter how many months or years went by, he would always be hopeful of Linka's return.

But it wasn't Linka. His eyes widened when he realised exactly who _was_ standing on his doorstep.

"You," he said in surprise.

Wheeler offered a nervous smile. "Hey, Mishka," he said. "Er – I'm not sure if I'm gonna be welcome here, but –"

Mishka shook his head and Wheeler instantly cut himself off.

"Yeah, of course not," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just wanted to speak to her for a moment..."

"She is not here," Mishka said. He opened the door wider and stepped aside, offering room for Wheeler to step into the house.

Wheeler breathed relief at stepping into the warmth of the house. "She's not home? I figured maybe she'd move away at some point but I didn't know where else to start but here."

Mishka's heart sank at the thought of having to tell the story again. "I do not know where she is," he said, shutting the door tightly against the cold night air and motioning Wheeler through to the living room. "I have not heard from Linka in five years."

"Five years?" Wheeler asked in alarm. "Why? What happened?"

Mishka sighed. "Would you like some coffee?" he asked. "I think we need to talk."

Wheeler nodded and waited as Mishka gathered mugs and made them both coffee that was strong and bitter and wonderfully warming.

Mishka was a little confused about how to treat Wheeler. He didn't know all the details, but he knew Wheeler had hurt Linka deeply enough to cause her to leave the Planeteers and come home. He had wanted to hurt him for that. Linka had adored being a Planeteer – she had adored Wheeler, too, though getting her to admit it was not easy. To see Wheeler sitting in his living room now, searching for her after all these years, caused him some anxiety.

"Why do you want to see her?" he asked, feeling defensive now.

Wheeler hung his head. "I'm the last person she's going to want to see," he admitted. "I don't know if she told you what I did, but –"

"You hurt her," Mishka interrupted icily. "That is all I need to know."

Wheeler nodded and cupped his hands around his mug of coffee, taking a moment to think. "I know I hurt her," he admitted. "It was the worst thing I've ever done." He shook his head and a bitter smile appeared on his face. "I've done some pretty terrible, stupid things over the past few years, but hurting Linka was the worst of the lot. I'm never, ever gonna forgive myself."

Mishka was watching him carefully. He had no reason to believe Wheeler was being dishonest now – he certainly looked wretched enough. Pale, and exhausted, and a little thinner than Mishka remembered him. He looked like someone who had spent the past few years running from everything and trying to escape himself.

"She is gone," Mishka said heavily. "She left, seven years ago. A few months after returning home from Hope Island."

"You haven't heard of her since then?" Wheeler asked in alarm.

"She kept in contact for a while," he said. "She left with a man named Viktor. I begged her not to go." He shook his head. "She would not listen to me. She was so hopeful of finding a new cause and a new fight..." He shrugged. "Viktor took advantage."

"Viktor?" Wheeler's voice was a shadow.

"Viktor Morozov. He came to inspect the mine here, years ago. He wanted to make sure the miners were looked after and compensated for dangerous work. Linka adored him." He felt the familiar, leaden despair clutch at his chest. "He took advantage. She was obviously upset and – and frail..." He shrugged, not knowing the words he wanted in English.

"Viktor told her there was a place for her at his company," he said. "He told her she could fight for the environment and the people who could not speak for themselves." He sank back into his armchair. "Of course, she did not hesitate."

"This Viktor guy," Wheeler said carefully. "He's not a good guy?"

Mishka shrugged. "He is very clever. Everyone else liked him. But he knew Linka was in a frail state of mind and he manipulated her. He promised her things I am not sure he could deliver. She left with him and I heard from her quite frequently, at first. She had been a little disappointed at there being so much office work."

"Where did he take her?" Wheeler asked.

"Almost as far as he could," Mishka answered bitterly. "Sankt-Peterburg."

"St Petersburg?" Wheeler asked in dismay. "That's miles away."

Mishka gave a bitter laugh. "_Da_. She returned home once, after our grandmother died. Just a few months after she had left. I tried to get her to stay, but she was – uh, stubborn." He gave a small smile, looking down into his coffee. "Eventually, she stopped answering letters and phone calls. Emails to her started returning with error messages. When I called her company, they said she and Viktor had left." He shrugged. "I have no idea where they went."

"You didn't try to find her?" Wheeler asked.

Mishka glared at him. "Of course I did!" he said furiously. "But what am I to do, Wheeler? I cannot leave here. I am too poor to travel around Russia in search of her – especially if she does not want to be found. My life is here and it always will be." His shoulders slumped. "Besides – if she wants to come home, I want to be here for her."

Wheeler nodded. "Yeah, of course. I didn't mean – I didn't mean anything by it. I know you'd want to find her, I just..." He shrugged, and looked apologetic.

Mishka sighed and shook his head. "If you want to go to Sankt-Peterburg to find her, I will help you in any way I can," he said. "I am worried about her." He felt his throat constrict as he forced his next words out. "I do not even know if she is alive."

"I'll find her," Wheeler promised. "I'll go to St Petersburg and I'll stay there for as long as it takes, until I track her down again."

Mishka couldn't help but look doubtful.

"I promise," Wheeler said emphatically. "My Russian is terrible, but I'm getting better all the time –"

"You know Russian?" Mishka asked in surprise, switching to his native language immediately.

Wheeler shrugged. "A little bit." He gave Mishka a tired smile. "You might have to help me."

Mishka laughed, suddenly feeling a little more optimistic. "I will," he promised. "Maybe if we work together we can find her and make sure she is safe."

xXx

Linka gave a tired sigh and closed her eyes. "He did find me," she said dreamily. "I didn't know Viktor had made it so difficult..."

"Why did you stop writing and answering my calls?" Mishka asked miserably, holding her tightly.

She shook her head. She didn't really have an answer for him. "I don't know," she murmured. "I didn't mean to. It seemed to happen very slowly and I was in Muskva before I realised just how alone I was."

"You could have called or written at any time," he whispered.

She shrugged miserably. "Viktor clouded my judgement," she said. "It was hard to think straight when I was with him." She bit her lip. "I don't have any excuse," she said. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be sorry," he murmured. "It's okay, now."

She nodded and gave a tired sigh. "I always missed you," she said. "Sometimes I worried that you were thinking ill of me, because I wasn't –"

"Not for a second," Mishka promised.

She smiled at him and rested her head back against his shoulder. There was a chain resting just beneath the collar of his clothing, and she tugged it out daringly, not remembering him wearing it before she'd left.

"A ring," she said in surprise, slipping her finger into the silver ring at the end of the chain. "This is a wedding ring?"

He chuckled. "Yes."

"You are married..." For some reason, she felt upset. Not because he was married, but because she hadn't known about it. She hadn't been there to see it, or to meet his wife.

"Her name is Natalya," Mishka said. "We tried to wait – to see if you would come. But..." He shrugged, and tucked the ring back inside his shirt again.

"I'm sorry," Linka whispered again.

He shook his head and smiled at her. "You'll meet her another time," he said. "She had to stay behind..." He dug around in his pocket and handed his wallet to her. "Photographs," he explained.

She opened his wallet and gaped at the first photo she saw. "Mishka!" she breathed. "Oh, they are beautiful!"

He laughed and watched her gingerly extract the photo of his sons from the plastic sleeve.

"Aleksandr," he said, pointing. "And Nikolai."

Linka smiled and glanced towards the closed bedroom door. "Nikolai? Like Nicholas. Wheeler."

Mishka smiled and nodded, and she realised there was no coincidence. Mishka obviously thought a great deal of Wheeler.

"Twins?" she asked, noticing that the smiling, chubby babies in the picture seemed the same age.

"Twins," Mishka confirmed. "If I hadn't cut my hair short, they'd be making it fall out."

Linka laughed, and gently pulled out the second photo – Mishka and Natalya on their wedding day.

"She is very beautiful," she said.

Mishka nodded. "I think so too," he said. "I'm very lucky." He hugged her tightly. "Luckier now I have my little Linka back," he breathed. "I had almost given up."

"Sometimes I wondered about you, too," she admitted worriedly. "You stayed in the town? In the mine?"

"Where else could I go?" he asked, giving her a sad smile. "That is where I belong. Father worked in the mine and so I –"

"Do you think that is what Father wanted for you?" Linka asked desperately. "To be in the mine forever?"

He paused, and looked down at the photo of his sons, still being held gingerly in Linka's fingers.

"I do not want it for my sons," he admitted. "I don't suppose Father wanted it for me, either." He shrugged. "Things do not always go as planned."

Linka gave a hollow laugh. "I know." She looked at him worriedly. "I was frightened you would fall ill, like Father," she admitted.

He shook his head. "We are all very careful, now. It is not impossible to fall ill like those miners used to, but..." He shrugged. "I am careful. I promise." He rested a kiss against her forehead.

She smiled when she saw the third picture in his wallet. It was a photo of her – taken during a visit home from Hope Island. She had still been a Planeteer. She tilted the picture to the light and marvelled silently at how young and happy she looked, smiling widely at the camera. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Tell me more about your family," she said, tucking the photos away and snuggling into him. "Tell me how you met Natalya."

He laughed and settled back into the chair, prepared to answer any question she'd prompt him with.

xXx

Wheeler tipped his head forwards and let the spray of the shower wash down his back. He hadn't realised, before finding Linka, just how much her disappearance had been weighing on him. Now that he'd found her, he seemed to find breathing easier.

Having left her with Mishka in the living room, he'd retreated to the bedroom to find three text messages from Gi on his phone. She was anxious – desperate to talk to Linka, but afraid to widen the gap between them even further. She'd asked again if it was okay to let the other Planeteers know she'd been found, and Wheeler figured he couldn't keep it from them any longer, so he'd said yes. He wondered just what that was going to mean. Was there a possibility of the team reforming?

He didn't think so. Ma-Ti would definitely want everyone to try, but Wheeler felt nervous just thinking about returning to Hope Island with the others. He had only kept in regular contact with Gi. Ma-Ti had tried hard, but Wheeler had shied away from it. Not just because of what had happened during that final Planeteer mission, but because of what he'd done since.

He looked down at the faint, pin-point scars scattered across his inner elbow. He had often wished he could erase them. He'd tried – by throwing himself into his work, and then the search for Linka. He'd chased any slight lead he'd been offered.

Finally, curling himself around her last night, he'd had the first decent sleep since leaving the Planeteers.

He dipped his head under the spray again before he shut the water off. His mood had skyrocketed overnight – he'd had a good night's sleep and he'd woken up to find Linka beside him.

The fact that Mishka was there was enough to make him happy, too. He'd become very close to Linka's brother during their search for her – talking at least once a day and learning to trust one another and rely on one another like no one else.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and stood in front of the sink to shave. He gave his reflection a small smile.

_I think I'll be okay now._

xXx_  
_


	6. Fragments

Gi kept her cell phone clutched tightly to her chest, smiling to herself as she lounged sideways in her favourite armchair. She hadn't been in such a good mood for a long time. She ached to speak to Wheeler again, but something was holding her back from calling him. She didn't want to interrupt his time with Linka, and she didn't want to drive a new wedge between them.

She spoke to Wheeler three or four times a week – more than she spoke to some of her local friends. She adored him, and had helped him through some of the hardest things he'd ever faced. He'd returned the favour by visiting just after her divorce, drying her tears and easing the new wave of guilt she had been suffering from. He'd fully supported her rather impulsive decision to move to the north-eastern coast of Australia to study the marine life on The Great Barrier Reef – and he'd listened whenever she'd called him with serious bouts of homesickness or regret.

They talked so often, but she had only seen him three times in the past ten years. She had been to see him in New York after he'd called her for help, two years after the Planeteers had split. She didn't like remembering that visit. He'd been a wreck – desperate to shake the clutches heroin had on him, but unable to do it alone, and afraid of what he'd have to face with a clear mind.

He'd done it, though. It hadn't been easy, but he'd staggered to his feet again and found himself a job and a life again. He'd mended his body and cleared his mind, but his heart hadn't started beating again until he'd found Linka.

There had been a time, however, where it had had looked doubtful he would ever try to find her in the first place...

Gi frowned up at the ceiling, remembering Wheeler's first visit to Busan, just before her marriage to Jin.

xXx

Gi glanced at her watch as she skipped towards the door, wondering who was knocking. Jin was away in Seoul for three days and so she was out of ideas as to who the visitor would be.

She threw the door open, always enthusiastic towards visitors, and gave a squeal when she realised who it was.

"Wheeler!"

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her as she threw herself at him. She kissed him loudly and quickly on the mouth, pulling back to grin up at him. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"Surprise!" he offered, staggering two steps into the house and kicking the door closed. He kissed her again and grinned. "Missed you, Little Mermaid."

She laughed and tugged out of his arms, standing in front of him and gripping his hands in her own. "You okay?"

"How do I look?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Full of rugged charm," she answered, pretending to swoon.

He grinned and pushed her gently into an armchair before he sank into the sofa. "Ugh, jetlag," he sighed, closing his eyes.

"I'm so glad to see you," she said, leaving her chair to sit beside his sprawled form on the sofa. "How's work?"

"Mm, good," he said. "How's work yourself?"

She smiled. "Good."

He squinted at her with one eye. "You okay?"

She rolled her eyes. There he was, straight off the plane and utterly exhausted, but still able to pin-point the slightest quiver in her voice. "Jin and I aren't seeing eye-to-eye on work," she admitted. "He wants me to stop right away so we can have a family, but I'm not so sure."

"Uh-oh," Wheeler sighed. "Trouble in Paradise." He sat up and draped his arm around her shoulders.

"No, it's nothing," she promised. "We'll sort it out. We really haven't talked about it that much."

"Well make sure you do," he warned. "Especially if it means a lot to both of you." He paused. "We both know what happens when nobody talks about anything." He slumped into the cushions.

"I don't suppose you've heard from her?" Gi asked hopefully.

"Course not," Wheeler snorted. "She's long gone."

Gi looked at him in alarm. "Wheeler?"

He shrugged. He looked bitter and sad.

"Have you given up?" Gi asked timidly.

He shook his head silently, but stared down at his hands. "I've met someone," he admitted.

Gi felt ice creep around her heart. _No. You're not supposed to meet someone else. You're supposed to be with Linka. That's the way things are supposed to be._

"You have?" she asked. "Who?"

"She's friends with Trish," he said. "She's not content unless she's meddling in all aspects of my life, I guess." He smiled to himself. "Anyway..." He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "This girl's name is Amy."

"And you like her?" Gi asked hesitantly.

He nodded. "I think so, yeah. I mean – yes, I do. It's just hard." He shook his head, looking exasperated. "I need to get over Linka. I mean – she obviously doesn't want to be found. She obviously hates me..."

"No she doesn't," Gi said desperately. "Wheeler, if she hasn't contacted you that just means it still hurts... And I mean, that's hard to hear but it –"

"Stop," he begged. "I just want to be happy, Gi. I can't wait around like this anymore. Linka's gone." He shrugged. "Amy's great... She's beautiful and she's clever and she makes me happy and I'd be an idiot to let go of that."

"So long as you're happy," Gi said softly, slipping her hand into his.

He gave her a sad smile. "Think I've forgotten when happy really feels like."

She sighed and rested her cheek against his arm. "Don't say that," she whispered.

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "How are plans for the wedding?" he asked, changing the subject. "Two weeks to go..."

She grinned. "Okay. It's not going to be very big. I'm insisting on keeping it small." She leapt to her feet, unable to contain her excitement. "I'm so glad you're here!" she said, tugging him up and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Kwame can't come because of Makena's pregnancy, but Ma-Ti will be here next week! I'm so glad you're both..." She trailed off when she saw his face, and her heart sank.

"You're not staying," she said softly.

"Ask me to stay and I will," he whispered. His eyes were wide and sad. "Ask me, now, to stay for the wedding, and I will. But..." He shrugged.

"Wheeler..."

"I owe you so much," he blurted, squeezing her hands in his own. "You saved my life."

She smiled sadly at him. "You don't owe me anything," she said. "It's okay. If it's going to be too hard for you to stay for the wedding, it's okay."

"Really?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yeah." She hugged him tightly. "It's okay. I'll have Ma-Ti here for the wedding, and I have you here now. You're staying for a few days, right?"

"Uh-huh," he promised, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I could face Ma-Ti..."

"He loves you," Gi whispered. "He's not mad at you or anything."

"It's not that," Wheeler admitted. "It's something I've gotta get over on my own. And I guess I've still got a way to go."

"Have you told Amy everything?" Gi asked curiously.

"She knows about the heroin," he admitted. "And bits and pieces about you guys. Not everything."

"Hmph," Gi said.

Wheeler chuckled. "You'd like her, Gi. You really would."

"So long as she loves you and looks after you," Gi said, swaying slightly with him.

"She does," he promised. "So, where's Jin?"

"Seoul," Gi answered. "He'll be home on Friday. You can meet him then."

"Good," Wheeler muttered. "I need to check him out and make sure he's good enough for you."

She laughed and shoved him away. "My dress arrived today," she said suddenly. "Want to see it? Seeing as how you won't be here..."

"Yes," he said immediately. "Course I do."

She beamed and hurried into the bedroom. "I have to take it around to Cho's house later, so Jin won't see it."

"Who's Cho?" he asked.

She stripped her t-shirt over her head, leaving the bedroom door open so she could hear him. "My bridesmaid," she answered. "She lives a few blocks away. I used to work with her but she left once she got married."

"Speaking of which..." Wheeler drawled, trailing off and indicating that she should continue.

She sighed and blew a strand of hair out of her face as she stepped into her dress. "Jin and I haven't really talked about it," she answered. "We both want kids but I don't want to have to give up work just to fall pregnant. I'll do all that once the baby comes."

She heard Wheeler give a chuckle, and she smiled. "Are you sure you can't stay for the wedding?" she asked. "What do you think Ma-Ti is going to do – punch you or something?"

He laughed. "It'd be worth hanging around just to see him try. I can't imagine Ma-Ti punching anyone."

There was a pause before he spoke again.

"I can stay if you want, Gi," he said. "I know it's the least I can do."

"Stop it," she said, struggling with the zip on the back of her dress. "You don't owe me anything." She gave up and stepped back into the living room. "Zip me up?" she requested. "And fasten the top button."

He gave her a slow smile and she felt her skin tingle as he swept his eyes over her appreciatively. When he slid the zipper closed, his fingers glanced against the warm, smooth skin of her back, lingering there for a few seconds after he'd fastened the final button.

"You look beautiful," he said softly.

She gave a breathless laugh and turned to face him again. "And this is without makeup and everything..."

He grinned and gave a low whistle. "You're gonna be a knockout."

She smiled and looked down at herself. Her wedding dress was simple and elegant, showing off her slender frame and delicate shoulders. Wheeler reached forward and rested his hands lightly against her hips.

"Gi," he whispered.

She looked up at him from beneath her lashes. Her heart was pounding. The touch of his bare fingers against the skin of her back had sparked something. There was a slow fire burning in the pit of her stomach.

"There's something there, isn't there?" she whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently.

He nodded mutely and she felt his fingers stroke against the thin silk of her dress.

"It's different," he whispered. "I love you to bits. I always, always will."

She nodded. "But what we've got – it's not anything to worry about, is it?"

He shook his head and swallowed. "No," he said.

She tried to explain it to herself. She tried to put it into words, but she couldn't. What she and Wheeler had – whatever it was – it was indefinable. It wasn't deep enough or strong enough to truly be called love. Neither of them wanted that. But it went further than friendship, too.

She supposed what they shared was understanding. They were both grieving, in a way. Losing Linka had affected them both. Wheeler had been so broken and she had tried to patch him up as best as she could, and now they were both left holding fragments of one another. Only Gi would ever understand the loss of Linka and what it had done to Wheeler – because it had happened to her as well, and she had been there alongside him and present in the mistakes that had caused Linka to leave. They would be forever connected by grief and loss and guilt.

She loved Jin, and she would marry Jin and she'd be happy, but even he would fail to understand her to the extent Wheeler could understand her. They had shared so much, and had made so many of the same mistakes, she felt as though her body nurtured part of his soul as well. She could feel his pain and his confusion present alongside her own.

He kissed her softly and pulled back.

"I'd better get out of this," she whispered, glancing down to her dress. "Before I spill something on it."

He chuckled and let go of her, and she felt the loss of his touch like something physical, and belonging to her, had been torn away from her body.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Are you?" she countered.

He shrugged. "Dunno."

"Hmph." She turned around. "Unzip me," she demanded.

"Gi," he sighed, fumbling with the button on the back of her dress, "Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not," she answered in surprise, feeling her dress loosen as the zip slid down. She clutched the fabric to her chest. "I'm nostalgic," she said, defending herself.

He chuckled. "Yeah." He sank back into the sofa cushions, looking tired.

"I'll be back," she promised.

"I ain't goin' anywhere," he sighed, closing his eyes.

She hurried back to the bedroom and sat her dress carefully back on its hanger. Paranoid about Jin coming home days early, she hung it on the back of the door and covered it with layers of bed sheets.

She stepped into a pair of shorts and pulled a t-shirt over her head, only to return to find Wheeler dozing, looking uncomfortable as he tried to cram his tall frame on the two-seater sofa.

"Do you want to lie down?" she asked. "You can have the spare room."

"Nah, I'll stay awake now," he said, rousing himself and running his hands through his rumpled hair. "Coffee might be good, though."

"Of course," she said, instantly embarrassed about her hostess skills – or lack thereof. "Hang on a minute."

"So Jin's in Seoul?" he asked, his voice floating through to the kitchen where she was hurriedly gathering mugs and boiling water.

"Yeah," she answered, blowing her hair out of her face. "Some big deal they're trying to secure. I don't know. I don't really understand it all, but he thinks he could make partner if he succeeds."

"Wow," Wheeler said, sounding genuinely impressed. "So he's pretty sharp, eh?"

Gi grinned to herself. "Yeah."

"And how are you going? I got your postcards..."

She smiled and handed him his coffee, sinking into the couch beside him. "It was amazing. So beautiful. I want to go back."

"Why don't you?" Wheeler asked, sipping his coffee. "Sounds like they'd be happy to have you."

Gi felt her smile falter. "I missed Jin."

Wheeler watched her carefully, and she gazed back at him steadily.

"What?" she snapped, feeling angry with him for doubting her.

"Nothing," he murmured, focusing back on his coffee. "Three months in Australia – it'd be hard to leave that. That's all."

"Not with Jin waiting for me," she answered icily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Don't get so defensive, Gi," he sighed. "I'm too tired."

"Sorry," she said, cringing. "Really. I guess I'm just stressed out about the wedding." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Australia was beautiful and I learned a lot while I was there, but it was never a permanent move."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Tell me about Amy," she whispered. "Where did you meet her?"

"Trish introduced us. They work together."

"Trish is an art teacher, hm?" Gi asked, looking up at him. "What does Amy teach?"

He reddened and shifted his eyes around the living room. "Languages," he muttered. "French."

"And?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Russian."

"Wheeler –"

"I know what you're thinking!" he snapped, putting his half-empty mug on the coffee table. "It's just a coincidence."

"Is she Russian?"

"She's American," he said. "She just teaches it to high school kids and does a few night classes through the week. She's completely different to – to Linka." He swallowed, as though saying her name pained him.

"What does she look like?" Gi asked curiously. "Do have you a photo?"

He shook his head. "Not on me."

"Describe her."

"Why?" he asked hotly. "If you think she sounds like Linka, I'm condemned, and if she's too different, I'm just as –"

"I'm just asking," she said patiently.

He sank a little in his seat, glaring down at the mug on the coffee table. "She's blonde," he said. "Dark eyes. And tall." He indicated half-heartedly, as though Amy maybe came up to the bottom of his nose.

"Pretty?" Gi asked daringly.

"Yes."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for being such a sticky-beak," she said.

He sighed. "Nah. I'm grumpy. Long flight."

"Go have a nap," she said. "I'll wake you up in a bit."

He took her hand and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the sofa. "I really want to be in love again," he whispered. "I want to be happy. Linka's gone."

She felt grief strike her hard in the chest. "We'll find her," she said hesitantly. "Ma-Ti said she'd gone with some guy –"

"Viktor," Wheeler said, rolling the _r_ off his tongue. "And she's probably married him by now. So I'm..." He shook his head. "Amy's amazing. She's way too patient with me and I've got way too many issues to be worth anything to her, but..." He shrugged and a small smile appeared on his face. "I really like her," he sighed.

Gi rested her head against his shoulder. "Good," she whispered. "So long as you're happy."

xXx

Gi stretched her arms over her head, remembering that afternoon with mixed feelings. She had felt ashamed for automatically disliking Amy. By all accounts, she had seemed to be a wonderfully stable presence in Wheeler's life, offering him almost 18 months of affection and support.

But he had lied. To Gi, to Amy, to himself. He had never really left Linka behind. Eventually, Amy had figured it out, and though she had tried to leave him as gently as possible, it had been a deep blow to him. Gi had been extremely worried about what he might do to himself after being left alone again, but Trish was watching him again at that point, and she urged him to keep his head and focus on his work instead of the new loss he'd been faced with.

Gi had been angry with Amy at first, but she'd soon realised that was a silly way to look at things. It wasn't her fault Wheeler was still caught up on a girl from his past. Still, she had left Wheeler feeling unstable and vulnerable again, until Gi had suggested something that had sparked a new, stubborn fire within him.

"Go and find Linka," she had said. "Put it to rest, one way or the other."

So he had. And it had taken him a long time, but he'd found her. She suspected he'd been searching anyway, even during his relationship with Amy, but the real chase had started once he'd moved across to St Petersburg.

She smiled to herself, filled with delight. They had both waited so long and been through so much. Linka's presence in their lives again seemed to signal the new beginning of something wonderful.

**xXx**


	7. Comfort Zone

Kwame stood at the sink, rinsing his coffee mug. He was exhausted and stiff and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. He dreaded each coming day, knowing that he'd be working his hands to the point where they cracked and bled thanks to the rough materials he was forced to work with, and the day would seem never-ending and cruel.

He hung his head when his cell phone beeped loudly in the other room. There were only a few people it could be – Ma-Ti was the most regular, though he'd be fast asleep right now. Gi still contacted him regularly as well, but she usually stuck to emails – most of which went unanswered.

Makena had started contacting him a little more, too, but he wasn't sure what to make of that yet.

It was Gi. The text message was short – just three little words – but they sent an uneasy chill through his body and caused him to turn the phone off and toss it into the couch cushions before he headed for the shower, hoping that hot water could ease his worries slightly.

_Wheeler found her._

xXx

Ma-Ti awoke with a jerk, instantly confused about the silvery-blue light that flooded his room.

_Aliens_, he thought wildly. When the light disappeared he realised what it had been – a text message.

"Oh," he breathed, flopping back into the mattress. He squinted at the digital clock and groaned when he saw the time.

He understood why Gi hadn't waited, though. When he read the short text message she'd sent him, he hit dial at once.

"I _knew_ you'd call!" she said immediately. "Sorry about the time."

"Never mind," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "He found her?"

"Uh-huh. In Moscow – still with Viktor. But I think they're back in St Petersburg now."

"Linka and Viktor?"

"No – Wheeler and Linka. She left Viktor. Wheeler took her back to St Petersburg with him."

"Wow," Ma-Ti breathed. "I never thought she would give in that easily."

"I don't think it was easy," Gi countered. "I just don't think she had any other choices left."

"What do you mean?" Ma-Ti asked, a queasy feeling in his stomach. "Is she okay?"

Gi explained to him what Wheeler had told her.

"Do you think Viktor will go after her?" Ma-Ti asked worriedly.

"Don't think so," Gi answered. "She's with Wheeler, and St Petersburg is a long way to travel to in order to drag someone away against their will. If she doesn't want to go, he can't make her."

"Yeah," Ma-Ti breathed. "Wheeler will look after her. How is he doing?"

"Fine," she answered breezily. "Much better now he's found her. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet."

Ma-Ti chuckled. "I can understand that. How are you?"

She paused. "I feel a bit weird," she admitted. "I mean – I don't know. I'm so happy he found her. I really am. And I'm so glad he's made her safe. But..." She trailed off, sounding uncertain.

"Go on," Ma-Ti prompted gently.

"I guess I feel a bit jealous," she admitted finally. "Not – I just..." She made a noise in the back of her throat and tried again. "Wheeler's life has been really hard," she said. "I've helped him through a lot. A _lot_."

"I know," Ma-Ti answered.

"I know the end of the Planeteers was because of what Wheeler and I did, and that it was our fault entirely, but I can't help but feel a little angry after she cut him out like that."

"She was hurt," Ma-Ti said. "And then Viktor came along."

"I know," Gi sighed. "Forget it. It's stupid. I guess I'm just tired."

Ma-Ti paused. "Do you think there's a chance we could all go back to Hope Island?" he asked.

"I don't know," Gi admitted. "I'm not sure how Linka would feel about that. Or Wheeler, to tell you the truth. He really likes his job and now that he's got Linka back he might just want to settle down or something."

"I cannot picture Wheeler settling down," Ma-Ti mused. "But I have not seen him in ten years."

"He hasn't changed that much," Gi answered.

"Have you spoken to Kwame?" Ma-Ti asked after a moment.

"I sent him the same message I sent you. He's probably at work."

"I am worried about him," Ma-Ti sighed, resting his head back on his pillow. "He seems to be drifting further away."

"I know," Gi answered. "He hardly ever answers my emails anymore. I don't know what else to do."

"Do you think something else has happened?" Ma-Ti asked. "I mean, after all he has been through..."

"I don't know," Gi answered. "I hope not. I hope things start looking up for him." She cleared her throat. "Anyway, I'd better let you sleep. I'm sorry I texted you at such a silly hour."

"Don't worry," he said, smiling. "How's work?"

"Great," she answered immediately. "I love it."

"So you would rather stay in Australia than return to Hope Island?" he asked.

"Don't be stupid," she scoffed, and then she laughed. "Ma-Ti, since the first day on Hope Island, all I've ever wanted to be is a Planeteer."

"Maybe we can go back now," he said hopefully.

"I hope so," Gi answered. "I'll call you in a day or so and update you."

"Email me," he said. "As soon as you know anything."

"Okay," she agreed. "Love you."

"You too, Gi. Goodnight."

xXx

Mishka had only been able to stay for the day – he was needed at the mine, and he didn't want to be away from his small family for long. He had crushed Linka against him tightly and made her promise to call him the following night.

"I never want to worry about you again," he'd muttered.

"You will _always_ be worried about me," she had said patiently, smiling at him. "I will be okay now, Mishka. I promise."

He'd kissed her forehead and left her in Wheeler's care, trusting him to look after her. Trusting her to look after herself.

Wheeler and Linka had spent the rest of the day cuddled on the couch watching television and passing only the occasional comment between them. He had his laptop balanced across his knees and was half-heartedly typing during commercials or soap operas.

They both seemed content with silence, for now – explanations and details could come later. The issue of having no money was weighing on Linka's mind, and she knew she'd have to purchase some more clothes at some point, but she forced it all out of her mind and assured herself she didn't need to worry just yet.

She supposed Wheeler thought she was asleep. She was very comfortable – tucked under his arm, her head resting against his chest, just above his heart. She had been lulled into peaceful dozing by the rhythm of his breath and his heartbeat. She was warm, and it was quiet, and for the first time in a long time she felt utterly relaxed.

Now and then his fingers would curl and uncurl against the curve of her waist, brushing her hip lightly over the flannel pyjamas she was swamped in. She could hear the occasional tap of laptop keys and thought maybe she should move so he could type with both hands – but she was comfortable and she liked having his arm around her so much, she decided to be selfish and let him think she was asleep.

Wheeler glanced down at Linka again. Her face was smooth and peaceful, and her breath deep and even. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled like his own shampoo, but it seemed sweeter, floating out of her locks instead of his own.

"I am tired," she mumbled suddenly.

"I thought you were already asleep," he said, shutting his laptop off.

She sighed a small disagreement and cuddled into his side.

"Come on then," he whispered, sweeping her up into his arms.

"I can walk," she protested. She put her arms around his neck and he smiled.

"Jeez," he sighed. "You're light as a feather. We're gonna have to order a few pizzas this week to fatten you up a bit."

She gave a sleepy giggle and let him place her gently into the middle of his bed.

"You will stay with me again?" she requested softly, keeping her arms around his neck.

"Sure thing," he whispered. He kissed her brow and collapsed beside her, stretching out on the mattress.

She looked at him. He looked tired. She rolled herself up in the blankets and rested her cheek on his pillow, inches away from his face.

"Wheeler?" she whispered.

"Mmhm?"

"I am not what you expected. Am I?"

"I didn't know what to expect," he admitted, opening his eyes to gaze back at her. "I'm just glad I found you."

"But I am so..." She trailed off, tightening her fists against her chest nervously. _I am just as dependent on you as I was on Viktor._ "I have nowhere else to go."

"Then you're just gonna have to stay here, aren't you?" he asked, touching the end of her nose with his index finger.

She smiled timidly. "I am not in the way?"

He smiled. "Nope." He rolled and wrapped his arms tightly around her, pressing his mouth against her brow. "You're right where I want you, _malyshka_."

She pushed her apprehension aside. _Wheeler is not like Viktor. I really will be okay this time..._

He could feel her tensing and squirming against him.

"Relax, babe," he breathed. "You're okay."

"I forget what that feels like," she admitted softly.

"You're with me," he answered softly. "But if you don't want to be, you can leave. I'm not gonna force you to stay, and I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to do. You're okay."

She sank against him. "Thank you," she whispered, relief spilling from her.

He smiled and nestled into her. "You're welcome."

She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, warm comfort flooding through from her head to her toes.

xXx

She needed money.

She gazed down at her coffee, watching the liquid spin and swirl against the spoon. She had been at Wheeler's a week, and the issue of how little she had brought with her was starting to weigh on her mind.

She hadn't left the apartment yet, either. She had fallen into a snug comfort zone. Wheeler's apartment was small and safe and warm – nobody who came in here would hurt her. People outside of the walls _could_.

She tapped her spoon twice, lightly, against the edge of the mug. She could remember making her coffee on that final morning with Viktor.

_Don't ask questions, Linka._

She bit her lip as she remembered the icy fury on his face when she had tried to clarify what she was supposed to do now she had no job – remembered the way his chair had skated back across the linoleum when he'd stood up and the way his fists had tightened...

Wheeler touched her shoulder lightly as he leaned across to put his empty mug in the sink.

She jumped, having been completely lost in her thoughts, and barely resisted the urge to scream aloud. Her coffee jolted against her hand and the mug tipped and sent hot coffee across the countertop.

She clapped her hand to her mouth, tears of fright and panic springing to her eyes. "I am sorry!" she gasped. "I will clean it up..."

"Linka, relax," Wheeler said in alarm. He'd received a fright of his own when she'd jumped the way she had. "Hey, stop," he whispered, grabbing her gently.

She stopped her efforts to mop up the coffee and slumped against him, resting her cheek against his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he apologised. "You okay?"

She nodded. "I was thinking," she explained miserably.

"About Viktor?"

She nodded again and Wheeler hugged her tightly.

"I think you and I need to go and get some fresh air," he sighed, kissing her cheek. He felt her tense in his arms and he ran his hand over her back soothingly.

"You've gotta go outside sooner or later, babe," he whispered. "Come on. The sun's out today."

He helped her into her jacket, telling her to ignore the spilt coffee and the breakfast dishes in the sink, and ignore the pile of clean washing they'd both dumped onto the end of the couch the previous evening.

"Come on," he said, ignoring several other excuses she had come up with in order to resist leaving the apartment. He took her hand and she clutched him tightly as he led her down the narrow staircase and out onto the street.

She looked around at the few people wandering up and down the sidewalks with them.

"It's a bit of a hike into town," Wheeler said. "But I think it'll do us good."

She nodded and kept close to him, unable to relax. She was certain Viktor had followed them here and was simply waiting for the right moment to pounce.

"So explain something to me," Wheeler said, squeezing her hand.

She felt queasy. She didn't want to explain anything about her relationship with Viktor. It was something she was ashamed of, and something which still caused her fear.

"Tell me how you became a software developer after telling Mishka you were leaving to follow a career that sounded similar to a Planeteer," Wheeler said, grinning down at her.

"Oh," she said in surprise. "Oh, it happened very – uh, very slowly." She blinked, annoyed at not being able to remember the precise words she wanted. "Viktor has had many jobs," she said.

"And he's stuck with the software thing for a while?"

She nodded. "He explained to me one day, not long after I met him, what he wanted. I began to help him plan it and then we realised we could both try to make it together. It was supposed to be a program to help companies who could not afford to pay employees to do this job for them..."

She gave up and switched to Russian. "It was supposed to be designed for small companies. It wouldn't really work for larger companies – and it's more convenient having real people and real employees do the work. Though, of course, that costs more. But Viktor kept pushing and pushing, wanting more profit. It is a completely different program to the one we were supposed to develop. It's a clever program, and it took a long time to create – but in the end it was all about profit, and that's not what I wanted at all."

Wheeler squeezed her hand again.

"Wheeler," she said hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"The money I made from the program – I do not have access to it." She reddened. "I only have the cash that is in my purse, and that is barely anything."

"Don't worry about money, babe," he said.

"I have to worry," she said desperately. "I am just as reliant on you as I was on Viktor, and I don't want that. I know you are different to him, but..." She trailed off, feeling upset.

"So let's go get your money," he said simply. "Are the accounts all in Viktor's name?"

She shook her head hesitantly. "I don't think so."

"So we'll stop off at the bank and we'll get you some new cards and get you your money back."

"Viktor will have taken it all," she mumbled.

"Let's find out for sure," he said, slinging his arm around her shoulders. "But let's stop for coffee first. I think you'll feel better." He grinned at her and she smiled back at him gratefully.

xXx

Viktor checked his watch, satisfied when he saw he had made good time.

He had been rather unconcerned about Linka leaving. He'd had no real attachment to her, after all. She had followed him like a stupid, infatuated puppy after he'd managed to clinch some simple little deal for her brother's mine, and he'd merely tolerated her company. She had been surprisingly easy to control. He had identified the way her smile never quite reached her eyes, and the sadness present on her face when she thought nobody was watching her.

She had been all-too-happy to follow him to St Petersburg when he promised her security and a career, though he had known at the time it wasn't what she was expecting it to be. He may have embellished things a little, but throwing a few well-voiced compliments and gushing praises her way had made her willing to stay with him.

Separating her from Mishka had been a little more difficult, but he had taken his time with it, treading carefully and never pushing things too hard. In the end, moving her to Moscow had been the best thing to do – she hadn't spoken to Mishka since then, as far as Viktor knew. Most of that was due to Mishka never knowing where she had gone – Viktor knew Linka had sent him her new address several times. Or, at least, she had tried to. She was excellent with computers, and he had watched her hack into the mainframe of a rival software giant, but she had never figured out he had restricted her emails.

She had stupidly believed him, and cried on his shoulder several times, when he told her Mishka was simply bitter she had managed to leave the slow, tiny mountain mining town he was still trapped in. Jealousy, he had said, had come between them, and she was better off without her brother if that's the way things were going to be from then on. He had no idea why she never seemed to have any self-confidence, but the reason didn't ever really concern him. The fact was, she seemed to believe him when he told her something was wrong with her, and that's all that really mattered to him.

Suddenly, Viktor was all she had, and he revelled in this new fact, reminding her exactly how helpless she was by keeping her in a constant state of dependence and weakness. He kept control of who she saw, who she spoke to, and where she was at all times. He had kept close control of all her banking accounts too, using her money for his own desires and allowing it to build up into what he privately referred to as his savings.

So it wasn't Linka he missed. It was the feeling of power and control, and more than anything, the money that had disappeared suddenly from her bank accounts. He had been meaning to transfer it all across to his own bank accounts, but he had stupidly waited, wanting to see if she'd withdraw anything – then he could find out where she had gone and decide whether or not he wanted to go and fetch her.

The bank she had apparently used to transfer and withdraw her money from had a street address in St Petersburg. He had very little idea of why she might be hiding there. The few people she had known had either moved away or, more likely, forgotten about her after not having had contact with her for years.

But he was confident that he'd be able to find her within a week. She only had to slip up once – return to the bank or the little coffee shop they had frequented – and he'd find her and get his money back.

He settled into his seat with a satisfied smile, watching the other passengers boarding the plane and finding their seats around him.

xXx


	8. A Rescuer

Linka rolled over and her arm hit bare, cold mattress. She lifted her head, having become used to Wheeler being beside her when she awoke. There was a note propped against the clock – _Back in 10 minutes._

She sighed and snuggled into his pillow, closing her eyes again. His habit of sleeping in was obviously rubbing off on her – a few weeks ago, oversleeping would have sent her into a spiral of panic and anxiety. She frowned at the memory of the routine she had adapted over the years. The constant worry of meeting Viktor's expectations...

But it was okay, now. She marvelled at how quickly it had taken her to drop the habits Viktor had literally beaten into her. She had never really been one for sleeping in, but Wheeler had reasoned she had ten years of sleep to catch up on. And she had enjoyed waking up beside him and lazing around reading the papers with him these past couple of weeks. The urge to get up and start the day early had long since left her.

She lifted her head when she heard the front door open and close softly.

"Wheeler?" All logic told her it would be him, but she couldn't help but feel a little anxious.

"Yeah babe. Stay there, I'll be there in a minute."

She smiled as she heard him gathering mugs together for their morning coffee. The past week had seemed, to her, a very light-hearted one. _All_ of her money had been available to her – Viktor hadn't touched any of it. She had simply closed her old accounts and opened new ones, locking him out forever. She wasn't quite sure what to do with her sudden wealth. She'd stocked her wardrobe with whatever she had forgotten to bring, and she had insisted upon paying Wheeler board, at the risk of sparking an argument with him. In the end he'd taken it, though he hadn't looked pleased about it.

She smiled to herself. It had been the first argument she'd won in over nine years, and she was ridiculously pleased with herself.

When Wheeler arrived he was balancing the mugs on a tray, beside a square, pink box.

She looked at him curiously.

"Morning," he said smugly.

"Good morning." She squinted at him and he laughed and rested the tray on the bedside table, crawling across the bed to kiss her gently.

She smiled, and he drew the blankets in a heap around them and wrapped his arms around her, whispering soft Russian into her ear.

"Happy birthday to you," he whispered. "Happy birthday to you – happy birthday dear Linka, happy birthday to you..." He kissed her temple and she looked up at him in surprise, feeling a giddy rush of pleasure.

She had completely forgotten about her birthday. To hear him sing to her in her own language made her feel a little tearful.

"You remembered my birthday," she whispered, gazing up at him.

"I've got a few brain cells wandering around in this big empty head," he said, flipping the lid off the mysterious pink box.

She smiled as she realised he'd been out to buy her a chocolate cupcake with rich, vanilla butter-cream. He topped it off with a candle and lit it with his lighter – using it again for the first time since he'd left Moscow with Linka. He'd had no desire for cigarettes since his new addiction to her.

"Make a wish," he said, kissing her temple.

"What should I wish for?" she asked, watching the tiny flame dance and flutter.

"Anything you want, babe."

He watched her, feeling a tremendous sense of smug satisfaction as a gentle flush spread across her face. She looked pleased and embarrassed, self-conscious and over-whelmed. He hadn't missed the brightness in her eyes as he'd recited _Happy Birthday_ to her.

She leaned forward and blew the candle out slowly before she looked up at him with a wide smile. "I had forgotten," she admitted. "I have not had a proper birthday in a long time."

"This is hardly a proper birthday," he said, feeling a pang of sadness for her.

She shook her head, silencing him. "It is wonderful."

"Cake for breakfast," he said, dipping his finger into the butter-cream frosting and dabbing it onto the end of her nose. "Tastes good."

She smiled at him again and he leaned forward and kissed the vanilla off her face.

"I got you something," he said.

"Wheeler, you did not have –"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, waving away her protests. "Happy birthday." He handed her a small package done up with a pretty green ribbon.

"You wrapped this?" she asked with a smile.

"You can tell, huh?"

She laughed. "_Nyet_, it is very pretty. Just a little too much..." She wrestled the tape and finally succeeded in breaking it away from the paper so she could tear it open.

"It's not much," he admitted. "We've been together since you arrived so I only had this morning to run out and get you something, and I didn't want to take too long..."

She gazed down at the brass key in her hand.

"Now you can come and go when you want," he said. He looked worried. "I know it's really not much but I figured –"

She flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "It is just what I wanted," she whispered, clutching him. "To come and go when I want..."

He laughed and nuzzled the curve between her neck and her shoulder. "Good," he breathed.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him, blinking tears back and trying to free the ache in her throat.

"You okay?" he asked, kissing her cheek and pulling back a little.

She gazed up at him, overcome with a new urge to kiss him. The situation they had found themselves in confused her a little. He kissed her often, and had told her he loved her several times. He never seemed to mind when she didn't say it back to him, though she thought she _did_ love him – she was just afraid of what it might lead to. He never pushed her beyond the simple kisses and touches he placed upon her. They had slept in the same bed since her arrival, and she found herself unable to sleep unless he was curled around her, but other than that their situation was a chaste one.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, looking down at her.

She shook her head. "Nothing." Then she smiled. "Nothing is wrong."

xXx

Viktor folded his newspaper and checked his watch. If he knew Linka's schedule at all, she would be showered and breakfasted and sitting quietly with a book by now. Unless, of course, she had picked up bad habits since leaving him.

He smirked. _We'll soon set that straight._

He had seen her twice since arriving in St Petersburg. It had taken six long days of sitting opposite the coffee shop she had loved, but she had eventually shown up. He had chuckled to himself, marvelling at her new-found audaciousness. She had been holding hands with a red-headed man, and they had bought coffee and sat out in the weak sunlight, watching the snow on the ground sparkle back at them.

He had followed them each time, being careful not to let them spot him. The small apartment building they seemed to be living in was a good walk from the middle of the city – cramped between a bakery and run-down office building.

He didn't really care that she had left him for another man. He was angry, certainly, but not as angry as he was about losing all that extra money. He wasn't going to take her back to Moscow – he figured cutting her from his life would be a good move. There were plenty of other women out there. But he was _not_ going to stand aside and let her steal from him.

He strolled across to the apartment building and scanned the names on the buzzer. He couldn't spot any names that seemed familiar. He gave up, and after a quick glance around for witnesses, heaved his shoulder against the door instead. It gave on the third blow and he shut it neatly behind him. He'd knock on every door if he had to – there weren't that many – and _someone_ would know which apartment Linka was in.

_Happy birthday, Linka. I'm going to teach you a lesson._

xXx

Wheeler whistled to himself as he cleared away the breakfast dishes. He could still smell vanilla – he wiped his nose and grinned to himself. The frosting on Linka's birthday cupcake had been a good investment. She had daringly sucked a dollop of it from one of his fingers, and he had kissed smears of it off her nose and her cheeks.

"Wheeler!"

He turned as she emerged from the bathroom with wet hair and a wide smile on her face.

"I have to show you something," she said, skipping from the carpet onto the kitchen tiles.

"Oh yeah?" He raised his eyebrow and she rolled her eyes.

"Look," she said in delight, lifting her shirt.

He was baffled for a moment – he couldn't think of any reason for Linka to lift her shirt to him, and she hadn't lifted it so high as to show him her –

"They are all gone!" she said, turning to show him her back. "Look! Nothing!"

"Oh!" he said, finally understanding. The bruises Viktor had given her had finally faded. She was still a little thinner than she should have been, but she was eating a lot more than she had at first, and the weight was starting to settle nicely on her bones.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her gently against the wall. "Definitely a cause for celebration, I think," he said, kissing her softly.

She cupped his face gently in her hands and leaned up to him. He kissed her again and his heart started racing. She had never protested against his kisses, and she was quite willing to cuddle against him on the couch or in bed, but other than that, he wasn't entirely sure where the boundaries were.

Something he certainly missed was the way she had called him _Yankee._ She hadn't called him that since Hope Island, and he found himself missing it and wishing she'd sling it into the air so he could know whether or not things between them would somehow fit back the way they were supposed to.

He curled his arms around her waist and held her close, deepening the kiss and closing his eyes, the sweet, flowery scent of her new shampoo floating in the air around her. He hoisted her gently, pleased with the way she fit and softened against his body instead of merely feeling thin and brittle. She hugged his waist with her thighs and pulled back a little, gazing up at him.

"You taste like frosting," he told her. "Vanilla."

"Good?" she inquired.

"Yeah." He kissed her again and smiled. "Real good."

"I had a dream last night," she said suddenly. "There were birds in it. And you."

"Oh yeah?" he pressed her gently into the wall, still feeling a little quivery from the kiss they had shared. Her thighs squeezed his waist.

"There is a poem," she said, "About a man who frees a small bird from a cage and reasons that God's intervention and anger cannot be complained about when the bird has someone to set it free."

"All we ever need is a rescuer, huh?" he asked, stroking her hair away from her face.

"_Nyet_, I think we need more than that," she said, smiling at him. "But I am glad someone was free to release me, too."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you're okay," he said softly. "You are okay, right?"

She nodded. "_Da_, I am okay." She kissed him sweetly. "But I have a lot of thoughts."

He laughed. "You always have a lot of thoughts. Must be some issue brainy people have to deal with a lot."

She rolled her eyes. "You are very clever."

"Not as clever as Miss Vetrova," he said, letting her uncoil her legs and stand on her own two feet again.

"I have a lot to think about," she said, trying to clarify.

"Yeah, I know," he said, kissing the top of her head. "It's okay."

She just nodded and gave him a shy smile.

Wheeler glanced at the clock. "Mishka will probably ring soon. He'll want to wish you a happy birthday."

She slipped out of his arms with a smile and disappeared back into the bedroom to check her cell phone – another purchase she had made with her money now that it was officially hers again.

Wheeler turned back to the sink to finish the dishes, but was interrupted by two quick knocks on the door.

He looked over his shoulder in surprise. He never had visitors – and besides, if someone came by, they'd use the buzzer first.

_Unless the damn thing is broken again_, he thought.

Linka appeared again, looking nervous. "Someone is here," she said softly.

"Yeah," he said. He decided to call towards the door. "Who is it?"

Another two knocks sounded, loud and firm.

Linka backed away, feeling frightened. "It is Viktor," she whispered, the colour draining from her face. "Do not open it..."

"Parcel!" called a voice.

Wheeler blinked. "Is that Viktor?" he whispered.

Linka bit her lip. She wasn't sure – it was hard to tell, hearing just one word through a solid door. The voice had sounded deeper than Viktor's, but it would be easy for him to do that himself...

"Parcel!" the voice called again.

"It's probably just a birthday present from Mishka," Wheeler reasoned, drying his hands. He kissed her forehead. "The buzzer at the front door is probably shorting out again. It'll be okay."

She watched nervously as he approached the door and twisted the lock.

Everything moved so fast after that. The door burst open and Wheeler fell back, taken by surprise even after feeling so defensive and cautious. Viktor punched him twice, not giving him time to recover, and closed the door before stepping over Wheeler's slumped body towards Linka.

Viktor smirked and tightened his fist, feeling only slight pain from the hard knocks against the redheaded man's jaw. He supposed his fists were out of practise. Linka, however, was giving him very little chance to find out for sure – he had taken two steps towards her before she had slumped to the floor in a dead faint.

"Hmph," he sighed, annoyed. He glanced about. The apartment was small, and untidy. She was obviously not spending her days doing any housework. An empty cake box, containing chocolate crumbs and a green candle, sat on the kitchen table. Linka's handbag was slung over a chair and he reached for it, rifling through and pocketing her bank cards and the cash in her wallet.

_A start_, he thought, feeling satisfied.

The redheaded man groaned and lolled his head sluggishly, but he wouldn't wake up yet – he'd hit his head hard on the floor, the noise giving Viktor an enormous sense of gratification. He looked at the other man carefully – he didn't seem familiar, and he wondered how on Earth Linka had met him.

He sighed again and leaned over her, patting her face roughly. She awoke with a start, still pale.

"Don't scream," he said softly. "I don't like noise, Linka."

She swallowed carefully, not moving from her position on the floor.

"You and I are going to go to the bank," he said.

She opened her mouth and then closed it again. _Don't ask questions, Linka._

"Get up," he said.

"I won't go back," she blurted suddenly. "I won't."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I don't want you back, you stupid woman. Get up. We're going to the bank."

"No," she answered, shaking her head. She felt lightheaded and frightened, but adrenaline surged through her veins and gave her the courage to disobey him. She struggled to her feet and leaned against the kitchen counter, facing him.

He seemed surprised for a moment, but anger flitted across his face. "I mean it," he snapped. "I want that money back."

"It was never yours!" she shouted, anger and bitter hatred welling up and spilling out of her. "It's _my_ money. I made that software and I earned that money and it's _mine._"

He reached for her but she grabbed a frying pan from the counter, blessing Wheeler's inability to ever put anything away.

"Don't come near me," she said, feeling shaky and sick. "I'll hit you again."

He stopped, and smirked. "You will?"

She clutched the frying pan. "This time you won't get up," she said, gritting her teeth.

He laughed and she felt a surge of anger. She had left the Planeteers to try and find independence and self-worth, and instead she'd mistaken Viktor's strength for an opportunity. She had thought he'd help build her up and encourage her to take action and independence, but instead he'd torn her down. And she had stupidly allowed it, deciding that she somehow deserved it. Deciding that self-destruction was the true path for her.

When he reached for her she swung the pan at him. He ducked and it glanced over his shoulder, striking him heavily but not enough to stop him.

He grabbed her hair and forced her forwards. He threw her into the counter and she yelped and coughed as her ribs hit the edge. Her breath was knocked out of her and her knees buckled. He tore the frying pan from her limp grasp and she scrambled away from him, her lungs burning.

_I'm not going back with you,_ she thought fiercely. _I deserve to be happy._

Linka clutched her ribs with one hand and flung the other out to grasp Wheeler's shirt. She could see Viktor lifting his foot back, as though planning a heavy kick to her stomach.

With all the energy she could muster, she drew up one name from the locked depths of her memory – one name she had sworn to forget and abandon, but one name which had always signalled love and comfort and security and rescue.

"_Gaia_!"

xXx


	9. Hope Island

Linka rubbed her eyes and blinked up at the ceiling. She sat up suddenly, disturbing blankets and pillows. The thick smell of tropical flowers and ocean breezes floated through the open window.

_She heard me. I am on Hope Island – Gaia heard me and she brought me here._

She scrambled out of bed and threw the door to her hut open, immediately turning to the left and pelting in bare feet to Wheeler's hut. The path was tangled and overgrown, but not so that she couldn't see where she was going. She doubted she needed her eyes anyway.

Shadowy twilight showed dim above the forest canopy and she wondered just how long she had been asleep.

She threw Wheeler's door open without bothering to knock, but he wasn't alone.

Gaia smiled at her. "Hello, Linka," she whispered.

Linka hurried to her and huddled into Gaia's embrace, sighing with relief. "You heard me," she breathed.

"Of course I did," Gaia answered, holding her tightly. "Why didn't you call me sooner?"

Linka gave a bitter-sounding chuckle and shook her head.

When she pulled away, Gaia smiled at her.

Linka looked at her carefully, but she didn't appear to have changed. She was relieved. She had wondered, sometimes, just how Gaia was responding to the planet's welfare now that the Planeteers weren't around to help. To her relief, Gaia appeared to be in the same health she had always been in.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked suddenly, looking out the window into the rapidly-darkening forest.

"An hour or so," Gaia said, smiling. "But you're in a different time zone, remember?"

"Oh." She smiled foolishly and then switched her attention back to Wheeler. He was breathing deeply, apparently asleep. "Is he all right?" she asked anxiously.

Gaia nodded. "Sit with him. He'll be awake soon." She stroked Linka's hair and bent over Wheeler for a moment, touching his forehead lightly.

The motherly gesture sent a surprising wave of guilt over Linka. She realised for the first time that she must have hurt Gaia just as deeply as she had hurt the other Planeteers in her request to leave.

"Gaia?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes, Linka?" Gaia straightened up and smiled at her again.

"I am sorry for leaving you..." She looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed.

"Don't be silly," Gaia said with a small laugh. She took Linka's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I understand why you all had to go home."

"But it was not just going home," Linka said desperately. "I wanted to wipe away any memory of this place. It hurt so much I wanted to –"

"Linka, I understand," Gaia interrupted gently. "It's okay." She smiled again and Linka nodded, though her relief was short-lived.

"Did you hurt Viktor?" she asked, chewing her lip. "What happened to him?"

"Nothing," Gaia asked, and her voice was surprisingly hard. "He just watched you both disappear. I'm sure that will be torment enough for him until you can go back and face him yourself." She gave Linka a small smile.

Linka shrugged. "I do not think I ever want to see him again," she said.

"That's certainly fair enough," Gaia answered, though she knew there would be a day Linka would return to Moscow and face Viktor again. She would be ready, at that point, and Gaia could see her coming to no harm – but it wasn't something Linka could see herself yet.

"Are the others here?" Linka asked. She was terrified, suddenly. She wasn't ready to see the others – she wasn't ready to meet their eyes again or deal with their questions. Most of all, she wasn't ready to see Gi.

"They're not here yet," Gaia said. "We'll talk about that later." She touched Wheeler's cheek and patted Linka's shoulder on the way out. "Happy birthday," she whispered, closing the door softly behind her.

Linka gave a brief smile before turning back to Wheeler. She watched him anxiously, wondering if she needed to do anything or if she could just let him sleep. She sighed, and winced as she realised her ribs still hurt. She lifted her shirt and realised she had a deep, flushed bruise spreading across her ribs in a neat line from where she had hit the edge of the counter.

_I had just got rid of them all,_ she thought in dismay.

She clambered into bed beside Wheeler and hugged him close, smiling as his breathing shifted and he turned towards her, sighing softly.

She watched him quietly, running her eyes over the faint worry lines evident in his brow even as he slept. She rested her thumb against his eyebrow and smiled when his lashes twitched. She ran the tip of her finger down the straight edge of his nose and touched his lips softly.

He really hadn't changed much since they had left here. He was a little thinner than she remembered – he obviously wasn't as active as he had been as a Planeteer and so he wasn't as muscular. His shoulders were slightly hunched when he stood – being the centre of attention no longer seemed appealing to him.

It seemed easier to note the differences in him now that he was against the backdrop of Hope Island again. It struck her just how young they had all been and how much had been heaped upon their shoulders. She wished she could go back in time and tell herself that she was so much stronger back then than she had originally thought.

She tucked her arms against her chest and settled against Wheeler with a sigh, feeling tired, suddenly. She wondered how Viktor had reacted when she and Wheeler had somehow dissolved into thin air.

She bit her lip and giggled, and Wheeler shifted and opened his eyes.

"Morning," he muttered.

"Wake up," she whispered.

He seemed to remember very suddenly – he shot upright and clutched her. "Are you all right?" he asked in concern. "What happened? I shouldn't have opened the door." He ran a hand through his hair and glanced around his hut, somehow still oblivious to where he was. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"_Nyet_, I am fine," she promised. "Just a bruise." She lifted her shirt to show him and he winced and put his palm across her ribs.

She shivered involuntarily at the warm touch of his hand on her skin.

"Did you fight him off?" Wheeler asked softly.

She smiled up at him, wondering just how long it was going to take before he realised what had actually happened.

"I hit him with a frying pan," she admitted. "But it did not hurt him, and he got hold of me."

He groaned and cupped her face, kissing her softly. "You okay?"

She nodded.

She saw the moment he realised what had happened. His eyes widened and for a moment she saw deep, intense fear in his eyes, before he let go of her and sat up in alarm.

He wasn't sure what had happened. For a few wild moments he thought he was dreaming and that something had gone horribly wrong – he wondered what had really happened to Linka, and if she was all right, because surely they couldn't _really_ be on Hope Island.

"Wheeler?" She sat up in concern and touched his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"What happened?" he blurted, looking at her. "What's going on?"

"I needed help," she explained, suddenly frightened when she saw the fear in his eyes. "I called for Gaia."

"You did?"

She nodded. "I woke up here."

"We're really here?" he asked, not caring how stupid it sounded.

She smiled timidly and nodded again. He leapt out of bed and grabbed her hand, pulling her with him and staggering slightly as a wave of nausea washed over him. He threw the door to his hut open and gazed out into the thickening darkness, letting the smell of damp earth and tropical flowers hit him hard. He could hear birds and the distant sound of gentle waves.

"Oh, man..." He sank to the floor, keeping hold of her hand, looking out into the dark.

She touched the top of his head. "Are you all right?" she asked anxiously.

He nodded and leaned against her leg. "Just a bit surprised," he breathed. "I always thought I'd have time to prepare myself if we ever came back here, you know?"

She felt his breath through the thick material of her jeans and she squeezed his hand reassuringly.

He hugged her knee and looked up at her. "Last time we were here..."

She shook her head and sank down beside him, and he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into his chest, hugging her tightly as though history could repeat itself at any moment and she'd walk away from him.

She closed her eyes at the sudden rush of memories.

She knew he had spoken to Gi since then – many times, and recently. She had known instinctively that almost all of the text messages coming through on his phone had been from her, and she suspected they had emailed back and forth since Wheeler had found Linka in Moscow.

But it had been easy to ignore, in Russia. She had blithely overlooked it, feigning ignorance and taking relief in the distance between them. It had been easy to feel reassured when Wheeler's hand crept across her hip in the dark as he slept beside her, and she believed him whenever he told her he loved her. There was raw truth in his eyes and a ready smile on his face whenever she looked at him.

But Hope Island had suddenly brought Gi a lot closer to them, and Linka wasn't sure she was ready for that. Gaia had simply said the others were not there _yet_, and surely that meant they were coming.

_I can't_, Linka thought in sudden alarm. _I cannot share him. I want him to myself and I do not want Gi here with us. She has had him the past ten years and now it is my turn..._

"Don't cry, babe," Wheeler whispered, kissing the top of her head.

She hadn't been aware of her tears until he'd brought her attention to them. She wiped her face on her sleeve.

"Let's go and find Gaia," he said. "Maybe we can figure out what's going on."

She nodded and he helped her to her feet. She had a sinking feeling that Gaia's answers would only further Linka's sudden fears.

_I do not think I can do this._

xXx

Wheeler kept a tight grip on Linka's hand as they stood inside The Crystal Chamber. The room looked only slightly different to the one stored in his memories – things seemed sleeker and smaller, somehow, but he wasn't sure if they had physically changed or if his memories were a little skewed.

Gaia was out of sight, but watching both of her returned Planeteers carefully.

She hadn't called upon anyone else to replace her original five. _They_ were her Planeteers, and she had been certain of their return. Their job was not finished yet; their lives were still entwined and their paths still too interwoven for them to all truly separate.

She studied them carefully as they both waited nervously.

Linka was far too timid and anxious-looking for Gaia's liking. Linka had always been a cool mix of impulsive passion and level-headed logic. She had always persevered to see the best in someone, and to bring out the best in herself, but to have the trust in her friends deal her such a cruel blow... It had changed her, certainly. Her new, sudden need for something different had led her to Viktor, and he had taken his time to wear her down even further.

Wheeler and Gi had shaken her self-confidence to such a shattering low she had found difficulty in standing up to Viktor's abusive, negative remarks. Convinced that something had to be terribly wrong with her for both Wheeler and Gi to reject her and treat her in the way they had, Linka had struggled to climb to her full height again. Gaia knew she still had a way to go.

Wheeler had hit rock bottom too, but he'd turned to Gi to help him out. The loss both he and Gi felt had kept them close over the years, and it was the Water Planeteer's company and friendship which had kept him stable enough to survive. He was changed, too, but his eagerness to act and his need to rescue those around him certainly seemed to remain intact. His eyes, however, darted from place to place, and there was a nervous energy about him that indicated a desperate need for love and acceptance. He had spent the last ten years searching for it, and he didn't appear entirely convinced that the search was over, yet.

She watched the way they clung to one another, their knuckles white as they both convinced themselves that the other might leave if they let go. Linka's eyes were lowered, darting up to Wheeler's face now and then, while he glanced around the room waiting for Gaia's appearance.

Deciding not to keep them waiting any longer, she appeared and smiled at them, holding her arms out and relishing the fact that on Hope Island, she was connected enough to the Earth to appear as a solid being and embrace them.

When they both clutched at her and wrapped their arms around her, she felt a joyous surge of hope and love and happiness. She felt at long last that her children had come home, and their pain and difficulty was behind them. She was suddenly sure that they would all handle things better this time – her too – and that they could all become family and breathe a sigh of relief.

"Are the others here?" Wheeler asked, his voice muffled against her shoulder.

"Not yet," she responded, pulling away and smiling at him. She took hold of their hands. "I'll ask them to come tomorrow. If they want to return, they will."

Linka's heart sank. _Gi will want to return._

"Do you think they'll all come back?" Wheeler asked anxiously. "What about Kwame?"

Linka's heart gave a sudden lurch. She had forgotten Kwame, and she was instantly ashamed of herself. Caught up in her own web of misery and sadness, she had failed to think of the former Earth Planeteer much at all. She was mortified that she had been so caught up in problems that suddenly seemed entirely trivial to the ones she knew Kwame had gone through.

"It's up to him," was all Gaia would say. "You will all need to talk amongst yourselves."

"That's all you can tell us?" Wheeler asked desperately.

She smiled, knowing that patience hadn't ever been Wheeler's strongest trait. "That's all I can tell you, at the moment." She glanced to Linka. "Why don't you both get some sleep?" she asked. "Tomorrow will be a long day."

"Wait," Wheeler said anxiously. "What happens now? I mean – are we here for good? What about my job? What about Mishka? He's going to wonder where Linka is..."

Linka looked at him in surprise. She hadn't considered Mishka, either. What was wrong with her? She blinked in an effort to refresh herself and focus on the other people this decision would affect.

"Mishka knows where you are," Gaia said gently. "And there have been arrangements put in place. If you return home, nothing will have been made difficult for you due to your absence." She smiled and shimmered away slowly. "Get some sleep."

"Thanks for the chat," Wheeler muttered, not feeling reassured at all. If anything, now he had more questions.

Linka sighed and leaned against his arm, exhausted but too anxious to even think about sleeping. She felt Wheeler's fingers twitch against her own.

"Wanna take a walk?" he asked softly.

She nodded, and they walked together out onto the beach, light-headed and nervous.

xXx

Wheeler and Linka sat side-by-side on the sand. The waves were slow and shallow and the moon was reflected in broken glimmers on the surface of the ocean.

Wheeler pressed his bare feet into the sand and swallowed nervously. His mouth felt dry and he realised for the first time that he and Linka had delayed the conversation about their past for far too long. He had so much he needed to tell her, but it had been easier to put it off and now he didn't know where to start.

He was certain that he'd have to repeat his experience of the past ten years to the other Planeteers as well, and he wasn't sure how he felt about having to admit his mistakes aloud more than once.

Linka rested her cheek against his arm and sighed. "Sometimes I thought I needed the Planeteers to work again," she admitted. "Things fell apart when I left. But I think I only ever needed you."

He couldn't help a smile, but he shook his head. "You don't need anyone, Linka. You're just as strong alone as you were with us. It's just Viktor made you think –"

She shook her head quickly and he shut his mouth, not wanting to start an argument or make her feel worse.

After a moment he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand. "You gotta stop doubting yourself, babe," he said.

Linka bit her lip and kept her eyes fixed on the shore. It was hard not to doubt herself and rather than run through the reasons in her mind, she decided to force her courage forwards and tell him.

"It is hard," she said. "I left here thinking there was something wrong with me because you had chosen Gi, and she was my best friend and she did not seem so concerned about hurting me..."

He cringed and wrapped his arms around her. "There was nothing wrong with you," he promised. "It was our fault and we –"

"There _must_ have been something," she said, looking up at him desperately. Her voice was thin and tearful. "You must have thought of me at some point and reasoned that you did not want to be with me."

He shook his head and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. "It wasn't like that," he said softly. "I've tried to figure it out over the past ten years, Linka, but I can't. We made a mistake."

She gave a bitter sob and scrubbed the heel of her hand across her face, leaving a rough trail of white sand clinging to her wet skin. "Well it made me feel very stupid," she said angrily. "It made me feel very worthless."

He didn't know what to say to that. He knew he and Gi were the reason she had returned home with barely a shred of self-confidence left. Viktor had merely taken over where Wheeler and Gi had left off. Wheeler shuddered when he realised how easy he had made it for someone like Viktor to take advantage of her.

"And _she_ will be here tomorrow," Linka continued miserably. "She still knows who you are and she has spoken to you and –"

"You could have as well!" he snapped. "Don't complain about not knowing who I am anymore after you cut me out like –"

She shoved him hard and he went sprawling back into the sand. He lay there, stunned, gazing up at the stars and listening to the sand shift under her feet as she stormed away up the beach.

"You should have better conversational skills by now, surely?"

He cringed and tilted his head back to see Gaia standing over him with a smile on her face.

"Apparently not," he sighed. "Should I go after her?"

"Let's give her a chance to sort her thoughts," Gaia answered, sitting gingerly in the sand beside him.

He sat up and ran his hands through his hair, trailing sand everywhere. "I'm an idiot," he muttered.

Gaia smiled patiently.

"You're supposed to disagree!" he cried.

She laughed. "There's no easy way to get through this, Wheeler," she said. "Linka knows that too."

"Doesn't make it hurt any less," he said.

"I know," she answered simply.

"I don't suppose you have any advice?" he asked hopefully.

She shook her head. "You have to figure this one out on your own."

"I'm trying!" he said earnestly. "I'm just not very good at it." He pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them, his head in his hands. "I don't think she'll ever really forgive me," he sighed.

"She wants to," Gaia said, wanting to comfort him. "She's afraid of letting anyone in again. It's been a very long time since she's been able to trust anyone."

He looked down the beach. Linka's footprints were in the sand. "I should go and find her."

"In a moment," Gaia answered softly. "There's time."

He hesitated. "The others will be here soon, right?"

"I'll contact them tomorrow."

"And they'll all come?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "I don't know. I hope so."

He looked at her carefully. "You haven't been watching?" he asked. "On Planet Vision?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Not at all?" He was surprised, and disappointed. He had always hoped Gaia had somehow been looking out for him.

"Those ten years were entirely your own," she said softly. "I'm not sure if I was right to abandon you like that, but bringing you here hadn't seemed like a good idea, either. It backfired a little."

"It wasn't your fault, Gaia," he said awkwardly. "Gi and I –"

"You were young, and afraid." She smiled gently at him. "I wish I had waited before bringing you here. It was a lot to ask of you, at the time."

He shrugged. "It was great, until that last mission," he said. "And Gi and I only have ourselves to blame."

Gaia sighed. "It's time to stop the blame," she said, sounding tired. "It's time to tread a new path, and you all have to do it together. Nobody can be left behind this time. Everyone has to forgive."

"I don't think they will," he said in a small voice. "I mean, if Viktor hadn't done such a number on Linka over the years she'd have kicked my ass by now, and Kwame and Ma-Ti aren't exactly going to forget that it was my fault the Planeteers broke up."

"It wasn't your fault," Gaia promised him. "It's more complicated than that and nobody will ever be able to analyse it to a point of total understanding. You'll have to accept that, Wheeler. Not every question has an answer."

He muttered something under his breath about spirits and cryptic half-answers, which she chose to ignore.

"Go and find Linka," she sighed, squeezing his shoulder gently. "Wish her a happy birthday before the night is over."

He moaned and pressed his palms over his eyes. "Oh, man. Her birthday." He struggled to his feet and trudged down the beach, leaving Gaia behind him.

xXx


	10. Revive or Destroy

Linka sat in the sand with her chin resting on her knees. She could hear birds and insects shifting and settling in the forest behind her, and for a moment a thrill of fear went up her spine.

For the first time in weeks, The Viktor Voice spoke to her. _Viktor will find you. No matter where you go. He'll be hiding somewhere, watching you..._

She turned immediately, running her eyes across the line of trees behind her, searching the shadows for any movement. After a few minutes she managed to gather courage to turn back to the ocean again, though the shadows and noises behind her still caused her to feel troubled.

She rubbed her eyes and sighed, feeling tired. She watched the waves washing up against the sand, the rhythm soothing her and easing her tense muscles. Guilt began to sit across her shoulders and in the pit of her stomach, replacing her earlier fear.

_I had every right to cut Wheeler out of my life,_ she thought, in an effort to make herself feel better. _It hurt too much._ _If he wants to start an argument about it – fine._

She brushed a tear away with her knuckle, feeling miserable. She wanted nothing more than a few days of stability and assurance. Her emotions were all over the place and the sudden change of scenery and the rush of memories it had caused didn't help things.

She leaned back until she was stretched out on the sand, gazing up at the stars. She smiled as she realised the patterns of the constellations were still so familiar to her even after all those years away. She could remember long evenings on the very same beach with bonfires and games; stories and jokes. Laughter, talk and love, spilling into the night air between five young people.

_I wonder if I will ever have that again,_ she thought to herself.

She hoped so, but at the same time, she was terribly afraid of opening herself up to the opportunity. Failure seemed so likely, and she doubted she could handle another fall. She wasn't sure what would happen to her if she suffered yet another disappointment.

It wasn't long before she heard Wheeler's footsteps – sand shifting beneath his feet. She sighed and closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him, but feeling somewhat relieved that he had come after her.

He sank down beside her and stretched out, wriggling slightly to dig his body into a comfortable groove in the sand.

"Sorry," he whispered.

She sighed. "I am getting sick of that word."

"Me too," he admitted. "Guess I should stop fucking up."

"Hm," she responded.

He rolled onto his side, pillowing his cheek on his arm and looking at her. "I really am sorry," he said.

She shook her head. "It is okay, Wheeler," she answered. "Never mind."

He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently, lacing his fingers through hers.

"Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day," he whispered.

She nodded.

"You wanna talk before the others get here?"

She bit her lip and he saw her brow crease slightly. "_Nyet_," she said after a moment. "I do not want to go through it more than once..."

"Neither do I," he said, relieved. "But if you want to know anything before the others get here, just ask, okay?"

She nodded. She was desperately curious about him, but at the same time, terrified of any explanation of the past ten years – whether it was his explanation or her own. She felt an uncomfortable need to justify her relationship with Viktor. _I don't know why I stayed with him_ didn't seem like an appropriate answer to the questions she was sure were coming. She was sure Wheeler had the same fears, and so to delay her own discomfort, she avoided causing him any.

"So – so when the others get here, we just... reveal all?" he asked.

"I suppose so," she answered heavily.

"Play it by ear?" he suggested.

She nodded and opened her eyes, turning her head slightly to look at him. She wished they had spoken about their past earlier. They had so much time, but putting it off had been so easy...

He gazed back at her. "Linka," he whispered, "I can't _not_ be friends with Gi."

It took her a long moment to answer him. "I know," she said softly. "I would not ask that of you."

"I know," he echoed, tugging her hand closer to him and holding it firmly. "Do you think we can get through it?" he asked. "You, me and her? Do you think we can move on?"

"I am not sure," she admitted. "I am jealous of her."

"Why?" he asked in amazement.

"Because she has had you all these years, and I have not," she said simply, hoping it wouldn't spark another argument. "She was there for you. She has spoken to you and shared ten years with you and – and I think you and I are strangers, now."

"We're not strangers," he said immediately. "You and me – we'll never be strangers, Linka. You can take one look at me and know exactly who I am."

She rolled her eyes. "You wear your emotions on your shirt."

"Sleeve," he corrected with a grin. "And maybe so, but you're the best one at reading 'em."

She gazed at him sadly. "When we went home, I pushed you away and straight towards Gi."

He scoffed. "No you didn't!" he said. "I didn't speak to Gi for two years after Hope Island – and even then, I was out of my mind and thinking I was gonna die. She's the only one who knows how it felt for me, babe. Losing you – it messed me up. And it broke her heart, too. Understanding is what we've got. Everything's on the surface, with Gi and I. But what I've got with you scares the hell out of me."

"Why?" she asked frankly, propping herself up on her elbows and looking down at him with an expression that demanded truth and explanation from him.

He chuckled. "Because you can revive me or destroy me. Don't you feel it?" He shrugged and shook his head. "You're always gonna be too good for me," he said. "If you don't love me... I guess I can't blame you. But I love you. I'm always gonna love you. I can't help it. And that's what scares me. You've got utter control over me, whether I like it or not."

She swallowed and shifted her eyes away from him, back to the waves. "Nobody should control you," she said after a moment.

"It's not that kind of control," he said gently, looking up at her.

"But if I left you?" she asked desperately. "Am I responsible for the heroin, Wheeler? Revive or destroy – you said it yourself. What if I destroy you? How am I supposed to live with that?"

He cringed. "No, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then stop!" she cried. "I do not want the responsibility of your happiness or your misery."

"Fuck," he muttered. "I just – I didn't..." He sighed and rolled towards her, pulling her down again and wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Next time I open my mouth to say something, just tell me to shut it again," he whispered. "All I ever do is make things worse."

After a moment she relaxed and curled into him with a sigh, tucking her head beneath his chin and closing her eyes, breathing in the warm scent of him. "_Nyet_, I am being unreasonable," she said. "Perhaps I am looking at it a little too literally."

"Maybe a little," he agreed, smiling and kissing the top of her head.

"I am worried about Gi arriving," she said miserably. "You are not a stranger to her. She will arrive and you will both be so happy to see one another..."

"Yes," he admitted. "I'll be happy to see her. And she and I know each other back-to-front. And I'm not gonna pretend or hide it, because I don't think that'll do anyone any good. But you've got nothin' to worry about, babe. You just have to trust me, okay? And I know that's gonna be hard to do. But I promise it'll be okay this time." He kissed her forehead gently. "I _promise_."

She tilted her head back to meet his gaze. "If I trust you, and you fail me, it will destroy me," she whispered, echoing his earlier sentiments. "I had almost ten years of control and abuse from Viktor, Wheeler. But nothing will hurt me like a broken promise from you."

"I swear," he whispered, gazing back at her steadily. "I'll never hurt you again."

She stared back at him for a long moment before she finally nodded. "Okay," she breathed. "I believe you."

xXx

After the moon moved behind the towering peaks of The Crystal Chamber, Wheeler pulled Linka gently to her feet and suggested they get some sleep.

She followed him tiredly, her fingers still laced with his.

"Happy birthday, babe," he murmured, kissing the top of her head as they found the path that led between the Planeteer cabins.

She smiled up at him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"That cupcake seems like a long time ago," he said, stopping outside of her cabin. "There's been a lot to deal with, today."

She tightened her hold on him a little. _Where are you sleeping?_ She looked up at him questioningly, not daring to vocalise her fear of sleeping alone.

He seemed to realise the situation at the same time as she did. "You wanna sleep alone?" he asked.

She shook her head quickly, glad it was dark and he couldn't see the blood steal to her face.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Do you?" she asked awkwardly. "If you want to be alone, Wheeler, I understand..."

"What, are you kidding?" he asked. "Hell no." He pushed her door open and led her in. "To be honest, though, I think I need a shower," he said. "I've been rolling around in the sand and the idea of sleeping in it isn't really doing it for me."

She nodded and sat on the end of her bed. "Okay."

He cupped her face and kissed her gently before he disappeared into the bathroom.

She rubbed her face tiredly and looked at the closed bathroom door. She could hear the water running and she sighed, feeling a pleasant wave of comfort was over her. Hearing the shower running in the next room was a familiar sound, now. She and Wheeler had settled into a routine that brought her calm.

She got to her feet and tiptoed to the bathroom door.

She wasn't entirely sure why, but her heart was pounding and she could feel sweat prickling on her skin. For some reason, adrenaline trembled through her veins.

_What would he do if I walked in?_

She leaned her forehead against the door and let her fingers rest against the handle. She had the sudden urge to lay a new claim to Wheeler by closing the final gap between them and moving their relationship to a more physical one.

_Gi had him,_ she thought bitterly. _Why can't I? He loves me... He wouldn't say no... Would he?_

She looked down at her fingers resting against the door handle, but she couldn't bring herself to open the door and merely walk in. She wasn't as bold as that, and she never had been.

Besides, she had to admit to herself that she had never liked sex. It hadn't been something to ever bring her pleasure, and her relationship with Viktor wasn't one that held enough love or affection or attraction to cause her to _desire_ sex.

She found herself wondering what it would be like with Wheeler, and felt the blood steal to her face again.

_Maybe I shouldn't,_ she thought to herself, biting her lip. _What if he decides he liked Gi better? What if she's better than I am? What if he realises what he had with her was better than what he could have with me?_

The Viktor Voice caught hold of her insecurity and gave it a loud boost. _Of course Gi would be better at it than you,_ was the response. _Why do you think Viktor had all those other women scattered around the place? _

_He always came back to me though,_ she thought, trying to be defiant.

_Because he could control you,_ the voice chuckled back at her. _It wasn't for love. It was because you're pathetic._

She left the bathroom door and sank onto the edge of the bed, feeling miserable.

_Maybe I should sleep alone,_ she thought. _If I can't sleep without Wheeler beside me, something must be wrong. I shouldn't need him to feel safe._

She heard the water shut off after a few minutes, and she bit her lip and got to her feet again.

_Don't do it,_ The Viktor Voice warned. _He's only going to reject you and tell you Gi was better. You should have stayed with Viktor – at least you knew where you stood, with him. At least he kept coming back to you. Wheeler will just walk out._..

_Shut up,_ she thought tiredly. She knocked twice on the bathroom door and entered to a soft cloud of steam. Wheeler was at the basin with a towel around his waist. His reflection smiled at her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded and disappeared behind the shower curtain before she stripped.

Wheeler's mouth opened and it took him a few seconds to close it. He couldn't look away as he watched Linka's blurry silhouette move and shift behind the shower curtain. She threw her clothes in a bundle over the rail and turned the water on.

He clenched his fists and tore his eyes away, breathing deeply.

_Focus,_ he thought sharply to himself. _You were just telling yourself you had a headache and you wished you had an aspirin._

He looked up at his reflection in the mirror. _Headache seems gone now, though. And Linka's naked and she's right there and if you wanted to, you could pull that plastic curtain aside and look right in on her._

He shook his head and drew in another shaky breath. His hands trembled and he gripped the basin and counted to ten slowly, trying to convince himself that his head still ached thanks to Viktor knocking him out just a few hours previously.

_Head's fine!_ his brain raved. _Linka's naked!_

He glared at his reflection as he tried to drag up his voice of reason. _You've shared an apartment and a bed with her for the past 21 days,_ he thought. _She's showered during that time and you didn't care about it, so shut up, okay?_

He opened the bathroom cabinet in an effort to distract himself. The shelves were empty, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the room.

The water shut off and he swallowed nervously. There were towels, but no shampoo or soaps, so a quick rinse was all either of them could really do. He grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and held it through the curtain, averting his eyes in case his arm parted the plastic a little too far and revealed Linka's wet body to him.

He felt the towel lift away from his hand and he watched her silhouette out of the corner of his eye as she towelled her hair dry.

Linka wrapped the towel around her body and took a deep breath before she pulled the curtain back. She gave Wheeler a shaky smile.

"There's no toothpaste," he blurted.

She blinked at him. "What?"

"In case you were gonna brush your teeth," he said, motioning towards the cabinet. "There's nothin' here. I guess we've gotta stock up on that stuff ourselves."

"Oh," she said, nodding. "Okay."

"Yeah." He pursed his lips and his eyes darted around the room – looking everywhere but her.

"Are you all right?" she asked curiously.

"Yup," he said. "Are you?"

She nodded and smiled. "The shower was good," she breathed, hugging the towel against her body. "I feel revived."

"Refreshed?" he asked.

She shook her head and smiled up at him. "Revived."

His fidgeting stilled and he smiled back at her. "Oh," he said. "Good."

She nodded and he tilted his head, watching her damp curls dance against the creamy skin of her shoulders.

"Will you promise me something?" she asked softly.

"I'll try," he answered. "What is it?"

"I have been thinking very hard about whether or not I can really trust you," she admitted, lowering her eyes. "I can tell you are very sorry for what happened during our final Planeteer mission, and you are sorry for hurting me. I think you blame yourself for my relationship with Viktor."

He watched her silently. She was right – he _did_ blame himself for her relationship with Viktor. If she'd returned home in better circumstances, Wheeler was certain she'd never have chosen to go with Viktor.

"There is a lot of pain behind us," Linka sighed. "You talked before of revive and destroy?"

"Uh-huh," he agreed quietly, not able to vocalise a proper word at that moment.

"Could we just revive?" she requested. "I have had enough destruction. I want to trust you. I would like to have someone beside me not for protection or security, but for happiness and love."

"I'd like that too," he admitted. "I promise I'll always be honest with you, okay? And I'll always talk to you if something is wrong. I'm not gonna hurt you again."

She nodded and stepped towards him, resting her cheek against his naked chest. He put his arms around her and willed his heart to stop beating so fast.

"Gi will be here tomorrow," Linka sighed, closing her eyes. "It is going to be difficult for me to see her again."

"I know," he said sorrowfully. "She can't wait to see you again, babe. She's missed you."

Linka chewed her bottom lip.

"Can't you forgive her?" he asked softly. "You've forgiven me, right?"

"I cannot explain why it is different with Gi," Linka answered tiredly. "It just is. But I will try – if we are going to stay here, she and I will have to get along."

"The thought of stayin' here makes me a bit nervous," Wheeler admitted. "I dunno why."

"I know," Linka answered. "Me too."

"You think Kwame and Ma-Ti will come back?"

She nodded, but it was more due to hope than anything else.

Wheeler sighed and kissed the top of her head. His heart had calmed a little and his headache was back. "We should get some sleep," he said.

She nodded and squeezed his waist with her arms. "There are no pyjamas," she said.

Wheeler's eyes widened in alarm. _Oh, shit._

Feverishly, he started counting again in his mind. He was up to 56 when Linka finally pulled away from him.

"Do you want to sleep, or not?" she asked.

"Uh – yes," he said. "Definitely."

She nodded and took his hand and he followed her back into the bedroom, but they both stopped in the doorway.

"Guess she heard us," Wheeler said. Two pairs of pyjamas were neatly folded at the end of the bed, and toiletries were neatly arranged on the top of Linka's dresser – two toothbrushes, toothpaste, aspirin, deodorant, shampoo...

Wheeler swallowed and started counting again when he noticed a box of condoms.

_Thanks Mom,_ he thought, feeling a heady mix of embarrassment, relief and amusement.

He jumped when Gaia answered him with a smug _You're welcome._

"What is it?" Linka asked, looking back at him after feeling him twitch nervously.

"Nothing," he muttered, sure that his face was red.

Linka grabbed a toothbrush and the toothpaste and disappeared back into the bathroom. Wheeler grabbed the condoms and threw them into the top drawer of Linka's bedside table, hiding them and hoping she hadn't noticed them. He was sure sex was the last thing on her mind, and he didn't want her to think he expected it of her. Though, he hadn't ever worried about it before tonight. Having her enter the bathroom so boldly and shower practically in front of him had spiralled his thoughts out of control.

He pulled his pyjamas on and sat on the edge of the bed, unable to prevent a glance towards the top drawer of the bedside table.

_Uh, Gaia_? he asked. _You're not, like, messing with me, are you?_

_And why would I do that?_ she responded.

_For laughs_? he asked pitifully.

_Goodnight, Wheeler._

He put his head in his hands with a groan, feeling embarrassed and confused. "Witch," he muttered. "I dunno if you're giving me false hope or trying to tempt fate or what..."

Linka emerged from the bathroom again and he grabbed his toothbrush and moved past her, keeping his teeth gritted.

Linka's heart sank when she saw how tense he was. When he closed the bathroom door she distinctly heard the lock slide across.

She blinked back tears and dropped the towel, pulling her pyjamas on and huddling under the sheets, not bothering to wait for Wheeler after realising he didn't seem to want her, after all.

_Told you,_ The Victor Voice said. _Why would he want to be with you? He's probably still thinking of Gi._

She shook her head miserably, curling into a ball. Wheeler's earlier promises echoed around her mind, but they seemed so useless, now. She desperately wanted to be happy. She wanted Wheeler to be happy, too – she suspected that deep down he was still worried and full of guilt, and she wanted him to be free of it. Ten years was a long enough sentence, especially after what he seemed to have been through after the Planeteers split.

_Revival,_ she thought tiredly. _Please, Wheeler? For the both of us. Not just me._

She rolled over again and looked at the bathroom door. He seemed to be taking a long time.

xXx


	11. Moya Dusha

When Wheeler finally emerged from the bathroom, he thought Linka was asleep. He sat on the side of the bed with a soft sigh and shook two aspirin onto his palm, swallowing them gratefully.

Linka rolled over at the sound of the pills against the bottle. "Wheeler?" she asked.

"Headache," he explained tiredly, stretching out beside her.

"Oh!" she said suddenly. She rolled on top of him and he could have sworn she looked relieved about something. She rested a hand against his cheek.

"You have a bruise on your jaw," she said softly, stroking the slightly-flushed skin with her thumb.

"Viktor," he sighed tiredly. "Hope you left him with a bruise or two."

She nodded. "The frying pan," she said. "I think I hurt his shoulder."

"Good," Wheeler muttered, slipping his arms around her waist and hugging her to him.

She bent and kissed him gently. "Is your headache bad?" she asked worriedly.

"Nah, I'll be okay," he said. "How about you? You all right?"

She nodded and eased herself back down alongside him, resting on her side so she could gaze at his profile.

"Wheeler?" she asked softly.

"Mm-hm?" He opened his eyes and turned to her. "What's the matter?"

She hesitated for a moment, her voice soft and clear when she spoke. "You love me."

He grinned tiredly. "Yeah." He reached over and placed his hand gently against her face, stroking the curve of her cheek with his thumb. "I love you," he sighed, shifting across the pillow to kiss her gently. "Always. _Moya dusha._"

She gave him a smile that indicated a little embarrassment, but delight and a relative amount of relief showed in her eyes as well. She moved closer to him, resting her lips gently against his and sliding her arm over his chest so she was supported above him, her hair tumbling down to frame their faces.

He moved his hands to her waist immediately, letting his palms move beneath her cotton pyjama top to rest against the smooth skin of her lower back.

Encouraged, Linka deepened the kiss and let her leg move across his hip so she was half-straddling him.

After a moment the realisation hit him and he understood at once that she hadn't intended any innocence at all tonight.

_Oh_, he thought.

"Uh, Linka?" He broke the kiss gently but suddenly. "Stop a second."

"You do not want me?" she asked in dismay. A huge wave of humiliation and grief rose up in her and threatened to steal her breath away.

"Of course I do!" he said hastily. "More than anything in the world. I'm just not sure it's a good idea..."

He reached up and brushed her hair back gently. "It's only been three weeks," he continued in a whisper. "I don't want to rush you into anything new, babe."

She blinked at him. "Oh," she said softly.

He smiled and waited patiently as she attempted to sort her thoughts, which were in turmoil.

_He's right – I _am _rushing into things! Shouldn't I be alone for a while first? Shouldn't I learn more about who I am without Viktor?_

_You know exactly who you are when you're alone, Linka. You're nobody._

"I need you," she whispered, looking down into his eyes. "I am nobody without you."

"Rubbish," he said, shaking his head and rolling into his side – rolling her and trapping her in the circle of his arms. He put his head on her pillow, next to hers, so their faces were just inches apart. "Linka –"

"Please, stop," she interrupted. "I know it is not desirable, Wheeler. I know I _should_ be strong and independent, but–"

"No, listen to me," he said firmly. His expression softened and he cupped her face and bumped his nose against hers. "Or at least, stop listening to _him_, Linka. Please? You're beautiful, and you're clever, and you –"

"_Nyet_!" she wailed, ducking her head. "Stop it."

"What?" he asked in alarm. "What did I do now? Jesus..." He sat up and pulled her to him, flicking the lamp on and combing her hair back with his fingers until she gained some control.

"We're not gonna fight again, are we?" he asked desperately.

She shook her head, wiping her eyes.

"Okay." He brushed her hair with his fingers again. "You all right?"

She nodded, looking embarrassed. "You do not need to lie to me to make me feel better, Wheeler," she croaked. "You promised you would tell me the truth –"

"I _am_ telling you the truth!" he said in a furious whisper. "I know Viktor had ten years to convince you otherwise, but what about the years before that, huh? I thought you were beautiful then. I thought you were clever, and amazing – and terrifying, when you got mad."

He saw a watery smile appear on her face and she wiped her eyes again, leaning her body against him. He could feel her trembling.

He sighed and ran his hand over her back. "Look," he said. "The others are gonna be here tomorrow. All that stuff is gonna get dredged up again. All I can say is I'm sorry. And I _am_ sorry, Linka. More than you could know. It was a stupid, stupid, stupid thing to do. But I've always been at risk of doing things without thinking everything through. I was selfish, during those final days as a Planeteer. And so was Gi. But we were both alone, and in a bad place. You remember that mission, right? How awful it made us all feel?"

She nodded. Her hands trembled as she wiped more tears from her face.

"I just want to put it behind us," he said miserably. "I _love_ you. I have _always_ loved you. There's nothing I can do to erase what Gi and I did, but it had nothing to do with you. I dunno if that makes it sound better or not, but there were no faults with you that drove us away from you." He ran his hand down her spine again. He could still feel the curve of her bones, though she certainly wasn't as thin as she had been when he'd found her again.

"Stop blaming yourself, babe," he whispered. "Stop thinking it was your fault. And stop listening to Viktor. Start listening to Linka again. She's always been the smartest person I know."

She gave him another quivery smile and he kissed her gently. "Okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "_Da,_ okay."

"So what's she thinking now?" he asked, pulling her down again and wrapping his arms around her as he settled his back against the mattress.

"She is tired," Linka sighed.

"Mm, this guy is too," he yawned, reaching up to flick the lamp off.

She rolled onto her side and he curled himself around her, nestling into her body.

"I am sorry about before," she mumbled.

"No, never apologise for being naked near me or for kissing me," he sighed. "It's always good."

She jammed her elbow backwards and he coughed as it connected with his ribs.

He laughed and snuggled closer to her.

"I hope I did not make you uncomfortable," she said, biting her lip.

He chuckled and grazed his teeth against the back of her neck. "If only you knew."

He felt her relax slightly, her body softening against his. They settled together, breathing smoothly, but neither fell asleep. The minutes crawled by and the moon shifted across the sky above the trees and the glittering crystal towers on the island, but both Wheeler and Linka remained awake.

Eventually, she sighed, and shifted carefully, not wanting to disturb him if he was sleeping. She turned over in his arms and realised he was awake when he shifted the sheets around her so they tented over her body in a loose billow of cotton.

"Can't sleep?" he asked softly.

"Hmm," she sighed sleepily, resting her forehead against his chest. "Trying."

He ran his hand over her back, letting his fingers trace the curve of her spine. "Love you, babe," he whispered, closing his eyes again and hoping he'd be able to push his nervousness aside and get a few hours sleep before the dawn.

Linka shifted again and he felt her lips press softly against the steady pulse in his neck. "I love you too," she whispered. "Yankee."

xXx

Wheeler had missed the initial glory of the day's sunrise, but the sight of Linka on the beach was no less beautiful to him. She turned her head when she heard him approaching and smiled at him.

"Hello."

"Hey." He sank down beside her. "Nice sunrise?"

She nodded. "_Da_, it was very beautiful."

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple.

"I tried!" she exclaimed. "I shook you, but you made a noise like a bear and rolled over."

He laughed and kissed her cheek. "You been up long?"

She shook her head. "Just before dawn. I could not fall asleep again so I came to the beach to watch the sun come up. And to think."

"Still worried about today?" he asked. He knew he was – his stomach was a mass of butterflies whenever he thought about the others arriving.

He watched on as she swept her hair up thoughtfully, securing it with an elastic she had around her wrist.

"_Nyet_," she said eventually. "I am still nervous, but I am also excited. I want to see Kwame and Ma-Ti. And, I admit I am curious about Gi." She lowered her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "But it will not be easy."

"I know," he answered softly. "Just take it slow."

She nodded and leaned against him, and before he knew it he was on his back and she was leaning over him with the new sun framing her hair and the side of her face.

He sighed and smiled up at her. "You're beautiful_._"

She gave him a wide, uninhabited smile, though she still managed to look a tinge embarrassed. He kissed her again but she soon pulled away and insisted upon him getting to his feet.

"What?" he grumbled. "I was comfortable right there."

"We should go for a run," she said, beginning some simple stretches.

He looked at her in amazement. "What?"

"If the team is going to reform and we are going to be Planeteers again, we will need to be in shape!" she said, her voice annoyingly matter-of-fact.

"Oh, come on, we've got a few days before we have to start any of that," he groaned.

"Do you _really_ want your first workout in ten years to be witnessed by the others?" she asked, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips.

He paused. "Okay, good point," he sighed, joining her in her stretches – thought he was significantly less enthusiastic about it than she was.

He watched her as she ran her eyes over the firm sand of the beach. He wasn't sure he could take credit for it, but something seemed to have shifted within her. There was a new spark of confidence and determination in her eyes, and her shoulders were straight and matched the purposeful look she had set on her face.

He smiled to himself, feeling his own mood lift as he witnessed glimmers of the old Linka showing through.

_Maybe it's Hope Island,_ he thought to himself. _It really does feel like home, here. Maybe things really will be all right and there's nothing to worry about. She's going to be okay._

"Come on, Yankee," she ordered.

He grinned, his heart soaring despite the heaviness in his limbs as he jogged after her, sand kicking up behind them.

xXx

It didn't take long for his good mood to vanish, however. Obviously unable to handle anything in a decent amount of time, both Wheeler and Linka had spent the past couple of hours trying to build up a decent exercise schedule.

"I'm gonna die," he spluttered finally, collapsing into the sand.

Linka looked flushed and sweaty too, out of breath and a little furious at the lack of progress she had made over the course of the morning.

"I did not realise I was so out of shape!" she gasped, sinking to the sand beside him.

"Jeez," Wheeler groaned, clutching his side. "Our first day back on Hope Island and you're already trying to kill me."

She just sighed in response.

"I'm starving," he said after a moment. "I haven't eaten anything since that cupcake. Do you think there's anything in the kitchen?"

"Gaia gave us toothpaste and pyjamas last night," Linka answered tiredly. "I am sure there is food. The gardens probably have some of the vegetables still growing there."

"Giant pumpkins," he mumbled, envisioning the gardens behind the kitchen to be a mass of sprawling tendrils and flowering pea shoots.

He heard her gasp suddenly, and he looked up in alarm.

Linka leapt to her feet and tore down the beach, retracing their previous footsteps with no indication of her newly-admitted exhaustion.

He soon realised why she had gained a sudden burst of energy. As he watched her sprinting down the beach, his gaze was drawn to her goal.

Ma-Ti had arrived, and he was running towards them with a wide smile on his face.

xXx


	12. Butterflies

Ma-Ti stopped running a split second before Linka did, adjusting himself slightly so he could grab her and swing her around in a delightful flurry of sand and laughter.

"I have missed you so much!" he cried, hugging her tightly.

"I have missed you too," she admitted, clutching him tightly and burying her face in his shoulder. He was taller than she remembered – not as tall as Wheeler, but tall enough to hold her up and keep her feet from touching the sand. His hair was shorter, but he still wore his necklaces beneath his shirt and his smile was just as wide and genuine as it had always been.

"I have spent _ten years_ worrying about you," he said, setting her down and speaking rather sternly. There was an unmistakable twinkle in his eye, but she still reddened.

"I know," she sighed. "I am so sorry, Ma-Ti. I know you tried hard to keep in touch, but –"

He shook his head, cutting her apology short. "I understand," he said simply.

She smiled and he hugged her again, kissing her cheek.

_I understand_ summed Ma-Ti up so perfectly and so simply she found her guilt easing, and her nervousness about what the day was yet to bring started to disappear.

Ma-Ti caught sight of Wheeler, who was approaching rather nervously.

"Wheeler!" he cried in delight. "I have spent a lot of time worrying about you, too."

Wheeler chuckled and hugged Ma-Ti back as Linka moved aside.

When Ma-Ti pulled away he glimpsed the bruise on Wheeler's jaw. "Have you two had a disagreement?" he asked in an amused tone.

"Yeah, a couple," Wheeler said, rubbing his jaw. "She didn't do this though."

Ma-Ti chuckled. "I am glad to see some things haven't changed," he said.

Wheeler grinned and sank down into the sand. Ma-Ti sat beside him and tugged Linka down gently, keeping hold of her hand.

She smiled at him, but couldn't help glancing around to see if anyone else was heading their way. The beach was deserted, however.

"Gaia was quick off the mark, then," Wheeler said. "We weren't sure when you guys were going to arrive."

"It only appears to be me, so far," Ma-Ti said, also glancing back towards The Crystal Chamber. "I felt it as soon as the two of you arrived here. I have not felt any real connection like that for a long time, but I suppose deep down I could still feel some sort of link to Hope Island. Gaia came to see me not long afterwards."

"She did? What did she say?" Wheeler asked.

"That you and Linka were here, and that it was time to decide whether or not we would ever become Planeteers again. She told me to come as soon as I was ready."

"So how did you get here?" Wheeler asked, confused.

"I told her I was ready," Ma-Ti answered with a grin. "I have been here for an hour or so already, talking with her in The Crystal Chamber."

"Has she contacted the others?" Linka asked nervously.

"I think so," Ma-Ti confirmed. He looked at them both with a wide smile. "I have missed you both so much," he sighed. "Even if the Planeteers do not reunite officially, I am glad to see you."

"We are glad to see you, too," Linka promised, resting her head against Ma-Ti's shoulder.

"Definitely," Wheeler agreed. "But it's almost lunch time and if I don't eat soon, I'm gonna collapse." He got to his feet and helped his friends up. "Linka tried to kill me by forcing exercise upon me this morning," he told Ma-Ti.

"I did not!" she spluttered.

He laughed and Ma-Ti grinned and wrapped an arm around Linka's shoulders as they strolled towards the kitchen.

"You don't look too worse for wear," he said to Wheeler.

"I'm already stiff," Wheeler groaned, stretching his arms over his head.

"You should have stretched properly," Linka scolded him.

Ma-Ti laughed at their bickering and followed them into the kitchen. To Wheeler's relief, the room had been fully stocked.

"Oh, man, now I've gotta decide what I want," he sighed, running his eyes over the shelves.

"Let me do it," Ma-Ti said. He gathered vegetables and pulled pots out of the cupboards.

Wheeler's stomach growled as he remembered the taste of Ma-Ti's home-made spaghetti sauce.

"Ma-Ti, is it true you work in an office?" Linka asked suddenly, sitting on a stool opposite him at the counter.

He chuckled. "Yes. Unfortunately."

"You do not like it?" she asked, watching him chop an onion.

"Not really, Linka," he admitted. "I do not like working inside. But I am still close to my village, and I visit there every few weeks."

"Do you see the Shaman?" Linka asked.

Ma-Ti nodded. "His health has failed a little, but he is still very respected in our tribe."

"Hey," Wheeler said suddenly, "What about Suchi?"

Ma-Ti smiled, but his face was tinged with sadness. "I gave Suchi to the Shaman when I moved to the city to work. He died three years ago and I still miss him very much..."

"Oh, Ma-Ti," Linka said in soft dismay.

"No, he had a very good life," Ma-Ti said, smiling at Linka. "He was looked after and happy."

Wheeler felt a deep wrench in his gut. Somehow, things wouldn't be the same without Suchi, though he realised now it may have been a little foolish of him to think the squirrel monkey would return with them after so long. He was suddenly upset that Gi hadn't told him about it – she spoke to Ma-Ti regularly and would surely have known about Suchi's passing.

_I never asked,_ Wheeler thought. _I get so nervous when she mentions the others I clam up. _

"How old was he?" Wheeler asked suddenly. "Suchi?"

"He had three years in the wild before he chose to come with me," Ma-Ti said, somewhat distractedly as he searched for a clove of garlic. "He was 14 when he died."

"Is that old?" Wheeler asked.

Ma-Ti thought for a moment. "Average, I think," he said. "I am sure he had friends in the wild who are older than him. And he had a good chance of a long life, being so cared for. But there are some things we just cannot explain. He died very peacefully."

Wheeler nodded, still feeling a little upset. Suchi had annoyed him more often than not, but his presence had been one of the comforting constants on Hope Island, and not having him there was another change he would have to get used to.

"How do you like Russia, Wheeler?" Ma-Ti asked, changing the subject. "You seem to have picked up the accent..."

"_Nyet_," Linka objected in amazement. "He still sounds very American to me."

Ma-Ti chuckled and shrugged and Wheeler grinned sheepishly.

"I like it okay," he said. "More so the past few weeks." He sent a sideways glance to Linka and she gave him a small smile.

"You do not get homesick?" Ma-Ti asked, slicing tomatoes.

"For Hope Island more often than Brooklyn," he admitted. "Work keeps me busy, though."

"I have read a lot of your articles," Ma-Ti said with a smile. "They are very good."

"Really?" Wheeler's face went red.

Linka bit her lip. She hadn't read anything Wheeler had written, and she had been living with him the past three weeks. She felt a little ashamed that she had never asked to see any of his articles, and made up her mind to hunt some out as soon as she could.

"My favourite is still the piece on Plunder's lumber mill in Borneo," Ma-Ti said with a sly grin.

Linka's mouth dropped open and she looked at Wheeler in surprise. "You have seen Plunder since we were Planeteers?"

"Er, no," Wheeler said hastily. "I just did a little investigating for one of my articles and it happened to get Plunder's mill shut down. That's all."

Ma-Ti laughed with delight. "Even without that particular accomplishment, it was a very good article," he said. "I was very proud when I read it. I have a copy of it on the board in my office."

If possible, Wheeler's face turned an even deeper shade of red. "You do?"

Ma-Ti nodded and set the beginnings of his pasta sauce in a pot on the stove. "And you, Linka?" he asked, smiling at her. "I had always imagined you travelling places."

Her heart sank. Wheeler had thought she had been travelling too, studying birds, but no.

"_Nyet_," she answered softly. "I am a – I was a software developer for a company in Russia."

Ma-Ti nodded, encouraging her to continue as he gathered ingredients for a quick pasta dough. She watched him swirling eggs and flour on the countertop with his fingertips as she spoke.

"I thought I was entering an opportunity for environmental protection," she said. "That is what Viktor was – uh... The man I was..." She trailed off, but Ma-Ti glanced up at her and gave her a quick smile. Even with no physical bond between them, like his old Heart ring, she could hear his thoughts as though he'd spoken them aloud.

_I understand._

She breathed slowly and continued. "He was a – a campaigner?" She glanced at Wheeler for clarification, not sure if she'd used the right word, and he nodded.

"He investigated suspicious dealings and worked for people getting unfair treatment," Linka said, remembering the day the new deal had been made in Mishka's mine. She had been so relieved and so pleased for her brother, knowing that his welfare was a little safer, that she had looked at Viktor starry-eyed for months afterwards.

"I started work with his company, but I never got to leave the office and investigate matters myself. I dealt mostly with the paperwork. When Viktor realised I had skills for coding and program development, we left _Sankt-Peterburg_ and moved to _Muskva_ to work with a new company. I have spent the past few years developing a security program."

She watched Ma-Ti working the dough with a sad expression on her face. Her life didn't seem like much.

"It was an important program," Wheeler said, taking her hand. "An American company travelled all the way to Moscow to get hold of it before anyone else."

Ma-Ti smiled and began to roll the dough through the pasta machine. "It is hard to make office jobs sound exciting," he said. "I cannot say I enjoy mine."

"But you do important work," Linka said, defending him. "You are still saving rainforests, are you not?"

"Mmhm," he confirmed with a nod. "But it is often more frustrating than not."

Wheeler sighed in agreement. "Things were a lot easier when Cap could just swoop in and help."

Linka swallowed. "I – I wonder what happened to Captain Planet?" she asked timidly. "We never said goodbye to him."

"I am sure he knew," Ma-Ti answered. "Gaia can contact him, I believe. Besides – I do not think ten years is very long to someone like Captain Planet."

"I suppose not," Linka said, though her voice was soft and she still felt a little upset. So many issues she had never previously thought about were suddenly tumbling around in her mind. What _had_ happened to Captain Planet? Had he just been in hibernation the past 10 years? And what about the eco-villains? Surely they had found the past 10 years to be very beneficial? Why had she heard nothing of them?

She dismissed the heavier thoughts and tried to relax. The three of them chatted quietly about menial things as Ma-Ti finished preparing lunch, before moving back out onto the beach with plates piled high with pappardelle and tomato sauce.

Nobody mentioned the fact that there were still two Planeteers missing.

xXx

Gi wiped her eyes. She was unable to explain the tears that had suddenly arrived. She had been in a state of anxious excitement ever since Wheeler had found Linka, knowing that their reunion would shift _something_ within the world of the Planeteers. Surely some sort of meeting or lengthy discussion about Hope Island would come up again?

She had not, however, expected to hear from Gaia directly. The dream had been so real and so wonderful that she knew, deep in her heart, that it had not been a dream at all, and Gaia really had come to her through some sort of subconscious link and indicated that a return to Hope Island was imminent.

_When you're ready,_ Gaia had said.

Gi didn't know exactly if she would ever be ready for a return to Hope Island. At the same time, she thought it was the only thing she ever really wanted – whether she was ready for it or not. She had a deep love for her job as a marine biologist but she'd never really managed to connect with someone or make friends like the Planeteers. Jin was the possible exception, but even that hadn't been lasting.

If she was honest with herself, she would admit she had been too afraid to expose herself to that sort of relationship again. To be so close with someone and to have such the responsibility as a friend seemed so burdensome. She had failed Linka and it had destroyed everything. She was afraid of repeating past mistakes – not through the same actions, but through some sort of deep, irreparable fault within her that caused her to hurt the people she loved most.

_I'm being ridiculous,_ she told herself. _Stop it. Wheeler is probably already there and wondering where I am and why I'm not there. Ma-Ti will certainly be there as well._

Her heart hammered painfully as she realised if Wheeler was there, Linka would be as well.

_What if she won't forgive me for what happened?_ Gi asked herself, more tears streaming down her face. _What if seeing me again only drags up all the hurt and does her more damage? _

She moaned and wiped her eyes. _At least Ma-Ti will be pleased to see me,_ she thought.

Glancing around her tiny flat, she wondered when she might see it again. But she had hesitated enough. She took a deep breath.

"Okay, Gaia," she sighed. "I'm ready."

xXx

The sun had gone past its highest point and was beginning to sink again.

"It is so warm," Linka said drowsily, half-attempting to roll her jeans up from the cuffs.

Ma-Ti nodded contentedly. He felt pleasantly tired, though now and then his eyes would do a sharp sweep of the beach in case Gi or Kwame could be seen heading towards them. There was nothing, however, except for a flock of pelicans out on the end of the jetty, preening themselves and digesting their lunch.

Wheeler gathered their plates. "I'll take these back to the kitchen," he sighed. "Anyone want a drink or anything?"

They shook their heads sleepily and he smiled to himself as he wandered back up to the kitchen. He wasn't sure why he had been so nervous to see Ma-Ti again. He hadn't changed at all, and Wheeler thought it ridiculous of himself to have ever considered anything different.

He rinsed their plates and left them drying on the sink. He could see Ma-Ti and Linka further down the beach, stretched out in the sun. He smiled as he witnessed Linka laughing at something Ma-Ti had said.

"Wheeler?"

The voice behind him was soft and timid, but he still jumped in surprise. He turned.

"Gi!" He grinned and rushed at her, swinging her up into his arms in a tight hug.

She laughed in relief and clutched him tightly. "Hi," she sobbed. "Don't mind the tears – I can't seem to stop."

He laughed and set her back down on her feet, kissing the top of her head. "I've missed you," he said. "I'm sorry I've sucked at calling you the past few weeks."

She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "No, I get it," she said. "It's hard."

"We didn't think you were coming back," he said worriedly. He took her hands and squeezed them gently. "You okay?"

"Just nervous," she breathed. "Where's Linka?"

"Outside. Come on." He started to lead her down to the beach, but her hand tugged against his and he looked back over his shoulder in surprise.

"I don't know if I can," she said worriedly. "I don't think I can do it."

"Yes you can," he prompted gently. "Come on. The longer you leave it, the harder it'll be." He nodded his head towards the beach. "She's okay. She's nervous, but she's okay. Being here again – it makes us feel different. It makes things easier, somehow."

She nodded, knowing what he meant.

"Ready?" he asked, tugging on her hand again.

She looked up at him desperately. "You're not going to stop being my friend, are you?" she asked.

He crushed her against him again and kissed the side of her face. "Never," he promised. "I love you too much, okay?"

She let a sob of relief gasp against his shoulder and she nodded, locking her arms around him tightly. "I know you've always loved her and I thought if she asked you to, you might –"

"Gi, remember what I said on the beach that day we got back from that mission?" he asked, shaking his head. "I told you –"

"You told me you wouldn't cut me out," she breathed, nodding. "I know."

"Well, it still stands," he grumbled. "So stop worrying."

She gave a choked laugh against his shoulder. "Shut up. Despite your personality, I _would_ miss you if you left me."

He kissed her cheek again and let go of her. "Not gonna happen," he promised. "Linka knows that too, okay?"

"Okay." She wiped her eyes, still clinging to him with one hand. "I've been having these stupid feelings of jealousy lately," she admitted. "I've been so close to you for so long and now it looks like we're going to split a little bit."

"It'll be hard," he admitted. "But I'll always have room in here for you, too." He patted the area over his heart. "Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay," she said once more.

"So you're ready to go? Let's get it over with. Don't throw any punches or anything..." He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath.

"Ready," she said. "I think."

She gripped his hand and followed him out of the kitchen and into the sunshine.

xXx

Considering how nervous each of the girls were, their initial reunion was a little anti-climatic. Linka got to her feet quickly as soon as she spotted Wheeler and Gi heading towards them. Ma-Ti was the one who moved forward, wrapping his arms around Gi and greeting her with a wide smile.

Linka looked on and quickly noted several changes. Gi's face was quite tanned, and freckles scattered her nose. Her hair was longer than it had been last time Linka had seen her – sweeping against Gi's shoulders in a thick, glossy curtain. There were smile lines around her eyes, and a small, crescent-shaped scar on her upper arm stood out sharp and pale against her tanned skin.

There was something else, too – something slightly different about the way she spoke and shaped her words. Linka knew the accent was familiar somehow but she couldn't put her finger on it, and she was suddenly annoyed that Wheeler hadn't told her more about where Gi was living now.

Gi's eyes shifted to Linka and the blonde immediately felt butterflies swarm up inside her. There was a moment of panic where she thought she might be sick, but Gi didn't appear to want to push her too far beyond her comfort zone.

"Hi," Gi said softly.

"Hello..." Linka chewed her lip anxiously, cursing herself for not preparing a little better for this inevitable moment.

Wheeler took Linka's hand, squeezing her fingers comfortingly, and interrupted whatever uncomfortable silence was about to start. "We've just eaten," he said to Gi. "Are you hungry?"

"Oh, no, not yet," she said, tearing her eyes away from Linka's. "Too many butterflies." She patted her stomach and smiled sheepishly, and the tension in the air evaporated somewhat.

Linka breathed a silent sigh. She was relieved that the initial moment was over – she had been dreading it for so long. But it was clear that she and Gi would need to talk, alone. She wasn't sure just how ready or how able she would be when it came to forgiving the Water Planeteer. She wondered how she would deal with Gi when they were left alone together.

"When did Gaia contact you, Gi?" Ma-Ti asked curiously.

"Hours ago," she admitted. "I was so nervous it took me a long time to come back."

Ma-Ti's heart sank somewhat, and the others soon realised what this meant as well. They had all been contacted, and many hours had passed since Gaia's message.

The sun was starting to hang low, and only four Planeteers stood under the deepening sky.

Kwame hadn't come back.

xXx


	13. Five

"What do we do?" Gi asked worriedly. They were all sitting in the sand, watching the sun sink into the sea and turn the sky scattered purple and orange. "Should we take the geo-cruiser to find him?"

"No," Ma-Ti answered immediately. He sounded sorrowful, but firm. "If Kwame does not want to return, we cannot make him."

"I'm not suggesting we _make_ him," Gi said with a smile. "But he should know how much we love him and how much we all want him back."

"Maybe Gaia has some advice?" Wheeler asked, absent-mindedly stroking his thumb against Linka's palm.

"Maybe," Ma-Ti sighed. "Maybe he just needs more time to think about it."

"It took me a long time," Gi agreed. "Maybe he wants to settle a few things first? Maybe he wants to organise a few things before he comes back."

"That's probably it," Wheeler agreed immediately. "He might have things to settle with work, or with Makena."

Ma-Ti nodded thoughtfully, and then sighed. "We should have something to eat," he said. "Then, if nobody minds, I need to sleep. It has been a long day."

The others murmured agreement and got to their feet. Suddenly, they were all exhausted, and the thought of putting off any further, serious conversations, seemed too tempting to resist.

xXx

Linka and Gi were treading carefully – they weren't against speaking politely to one another, but it was evident that there was still tension between them. Luckily, both Wheeler and Ma-Ti kept the conversation flowing easily.

The moon was still low and silver against the tree-tops when they all agreed it was time for bed. Hopeful glances for Kwame's appearance were still sent towards the beach and The Crystal Chamber, but the Earth Planeteer had still not returned.

Gi disappeared first. "Night, you guys," she said softly. "You'll all still be here tomorrow, right?"

They all nodded agreement and she smiled and waved goodnight as she disappeared towards her hut.

Ma-Ti followed shortly after, wishing his friends a good night's sleep.

"Just you and me, babe," Wheeler sighed softly, taking her hand.

She smiled at him tiredly. "_Da._ I like it, just you and me."

He chuckled. "Yeah, me too." He leaned over and kissed her. "You okay? It wasn't too bad today, was it?"

She shook her head. "Not too bad."

"It'll get easier," he promised gently.

She nodded and he helped her to her feet. "Ready for bed?"

She thought for a moment. "You go ahead," she said. "I think I would like to take a walk and clear my head a little."

"Okay," he answered, though she was sure she saw a touch of worry in his eyes.

She leaned up on her tiptoes and rested a soft kiss against his mouth. "Will you stay with me again tonight?" she asked.

"You sure?" he asked softly, stroking her hair.

She smiled and kissed him again. "_Da_, I am sure. But it is different. It was a difficult day, but a good day, and right now I feel very happy." She smiled at him. "I still want you beside me. I _want_ you beside me. I do not _need_ you tonight. There is a difference."

He smiled and moved his hands against her waist, kissing her again. "Sure thing, babe," he whispered. "I love you, okay?"

"I love you too," she whispered back. "I will not be long."

He touched the end of her nose lightly and she watched him disappear towards her hut, yawning tiredly.

She headed for the beach, strolling through the gentle shallows and watching the moon's reflection split and waver on the water by the jetty.

She stopped in amazement. It had been ten years, but even now, in the dim, silvery light, she could recognise Kwame's silhouette as he stood on the end of the pier, gazing up at the stars.

xXx

"Kwame?" She had walked up to him quietly, but she was quite breathless by the time she had approached him.

He turned. He hadn't heard her approach, but he wasn't surprised that she had found him. He was, after all, in plain view.

"Hello, Linka," he said, smiling at her. He reached out and she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, Kwame," she said tearfully. "We did not think you were coming back."

"Gaia came to see me a second time," Kwame admitted. "I realised that at the very least, I owe you all an explanation."

Linka felt an uncomfortable shiver in her stomach. "You are not staying?" she asked softly.

"No." Kwame let go of her gently and looked up at the sky again for a moment. "I cannot do this again."

Linka's heart sank, but she nodded.

He sat at the end of the jetty and looked up at her expectantly. She sat beside him and looked at him with a small smile. He hadn't changed much. He was broader, perhaps – though she may just have been used to Wheeler's physique. Where the Fire Planeteer had lost muscle mass, Kwame had gained it. He was still tall and lean, but his body was hard with muscle. She could recognise one of the bracelets on his wrist, but the others were new.

There was something else, though. There was a deep sadness in his dark eyes, which he didn't bother hiding from her. He had been quick to greet her with a smile, but now that they were settled beside one another, his handsome face was passive once more, and it was evident that he felt troubled.

"I am glad to see you," Linka offered quietly.

He smiled at her again. "I am glad to see you, too," he said, taking her hand. "I was very worried about you, all this time."

"_Da_, I am sorry," she whispered. "I did not mean to disappear on everyone to the extent I did..."

He shook his head. "There is no need to apologise," he said softly. "Are you all right?"

She nodded, but she felt tears behind her eyes and suddenly she was crying and her thoughts were tumbling from her. "I am so humiliated," she admitted. "I lost myself."

"That is easy to do," Kwame comforted, resting his hand against her back.

"I am not sure things will ever be the same," she sobbed. "If Wheeler had not found me, I would still be with Viktor and I would still be miserable." She gripped her hands against the edge of the jetty. "I have been so weak."

"You were strong enough to accept help," Kwame answered in a soft, clear voice. "Sometimes that is the hardest part."

Linka blinked. "That – that does not take strength," she said, confused.

Kwame just smiled at her and shrugged. "It always seemed too difficult for me to ask for," he said. "I wish I had been strong enough to ask for help when my farm failed. I wish I had been strong enough to accept the help people offered me after Safi died and Makena left me."

"_Da_," she agreed, understanding suddenly. "Accepting help is admitting you need it. I suppose I was ashamed of being in a position I could not get out of myself."

"Which is ridiculous," Kwame said, taking her hand again.

She nodded and returned his grasp with a gentle squeeze of her own. His hands were rough and calloused, and she let her thumb switch lightly over a scar on one of his knuckles.

They sat in silence for a few moments, kicking their feet slightly above the dark water, watching the moon rise.

"I am sorry about your son, Kwame," she said softly. She wasn't entirely sure how appropriate it was for her to mention him, but saying nothing hardly seemed appropriate either.

He nodded quietly. "He would be five, soon," he said after a moment.

She squeezed his hand tightly, not sure what she could say. She wasn't sure there was ever anything that could comfort someone after losing a child.

"This Viktor," Kwame said softly, "He hurt you?"

With a jolt, Linka realised Kwame didn't know what had happened. Wheeler had obviously told Gi, and she must have told Ma-Ti, but somewhere along the line, contact to Kwame had not been as clear.

She bit her lip and lifted her shirt high enough to show him the neat bruise on her ribs.

Kwame frowned and touched it lightly with his fingers. Linka saw a spark of anger in his eyes, but it was replaced with sorrow again – this time, directed at her.

"Wheeler left him with bruises of his own, I hope?" he asked.

Linka shook her head. "Viktor left Wheeler with a bruise," she admitted. "But I hit him with a lamp. And a frying pan."

Kwame chuckled and breathed a sigh. "I am glad to hear it," he said. "And I am glad you are away from him."

"_Da_, me too," she said softly.

Kwame glanced back towards the beach. "The others are here too, yes?" he asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"_Da._ They have gone to bed. It was a long day."

He looked a little relieved, and nodded. "I am sorry I did not come earlier," he said. "Has everything been all right?"

"It has been... gentle," Linka said, frustrated by not being able to find a better word.

He laughed quietly. "That is good," he sighed. "Gentle is good."

"I have not really spoken to Gi, yet," she admitted.

"Well, it will be hard," he answered, letting his eyes roam the stars. "It is not unreasonable for you to take things slowly."

Linka nodded and looked down at the water again. It was calm, here. She understood why Kwame had spent so much time out on the jetty, fishing and catching nothing. The water washing against the pylons below was very soothing, and the air floated up off the sea and kissed her skin, easing the humidity and heat.

"How long will you stay?" she asked, clutching his fingers a little tighter than she meant to.

"I will ask Gaia to send me home tomorrow night," he said, not meeting her eyes.

Linka's heart sank. "Ma-Ti thinks perhaps we could be a team again..."

Kwame smiled at her. It was a paternal smile – knowing and gentle. "I am not so sure."

"I trust Wheeler," she said softly. "He will not hurt us again. He blames himself."

Kwame shook his head. "He should not blame himself. I know his guilt has led him to some difficult ends..."

Linka nodded. "But I think he wants to try again. And – and I think I am willing, too. Even with Gi here. I am not so sure I can trust her yet, but I would like to try..."

"But what about me?" Kwame asked, and his voice was low and rough as though he were close to tears. "I failed all of you. It is my fault the Planeteers split in the first place!"

Linka looked at him in alarm. For a moment she wondered if something had gone horribly wrong and Kwame wasn't able to process his memories properly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked in a panic.

"I knew something was wrong and I did nothing," he groaned. "I should have talked to you all. I should have made sure we all understood what had happened and why things had gone so wrong. I should have protected you all from so much hurt. You are my friends and to watch you all suffer so much was too –"

"_Nyet_, Kwame!" Linka said, dashing away tears of horror and surprise. "It was not your fault! What could you have possibly done, after Gi and Wheeler did what they did?"

He shook his head, his jaw tightly clenched. "I know something must have been wrong, for them to act that way," he said miserably. "I am sorry, Linka. I know how hurt you were – and I was so angry with them – but I cannot believe that it was a malicious move."

Linka felt a tiny, icy grip on her heart. _Please don't take their side. _

"They have more than paid for it," he continued softly. "But I should have prevented that much pain from happening in the first place. I could tell, as soon as the mission started, that it was not a good place to be. That it was a mission we were not accustomed to, and that we were in too deep, too fast."

"Kwame, you cannot possibly blame yourself," Linka said desperately. "Nobody has even considered that it was your fault."

He closed his eyes and shook his head, and she saw tears on his dark skin.

"I just accepted it," he said softly. "When Ma-Ti told me we were all going home, I just accepted it. I thought that the Planeteers had reached the time of their end and there was nothing we could do about it. I should have fought – I should have fought for you all, and fought for the Planeteers and what we stood for. But I did nothing. I was a coward."

Linka wrapped her arms around him and hugged him furiously, noticing that her skin was damp too. "Fight for us now," she whispered. "We are all broken and there are differences in all of us, but I think the core of each of us is good. Even – even Gi. Sometimes... I mean... I try to hate her." Linka's voice was muffled in Kwame's shirt as she uttered this confession to him, but she didn't pull away.

"But in my heart I love Wheeler and I know he would not be so close to her or hold her so dear if she did not have the same qualities I remember in her. When she was brave, and loyal, and my friend..." She broke into heavy sobs and clutched at the Earth Planeteer.

He hugged her tightly, patting her back now and then in a gentle, soothing pattern.

"I know that even after she was so selfish and she hurt me – us – so badly... My friend must still be there, somewhere. And sometimes I want her back so badly I would give anything... I would forget that any of it ever happened, and forgive her, if I knew things between us could return to what they were."

"I wish we could have those days back too," Kwame whispered, holding her tightly. "But they are gone, Linka. Life is different, now. It is too hard."

"_Nyet_," she moaned, her face still against his shoulder. She pulled away slowly and wiped her face. "Wait," she gasped softly, trying to catch her breath. "I need to explain..."

He waited patiently as she tried to calm her breath and stop her tears. He stroked her hair gently and she gave him a shaky smile.

"Sometimes I thought of leaving Viktor," she said. Her voice was a husky whisper. "Sometimes he hit me so badly I could not get out of bed, and I would be there all day, alone, and I would think of how weak I was and how I had let him do such things to me..." She shook her head and drew in a shaky breath.

"I thought about leaving. But I did not believe I had anywhere to go, and I was certain that if I tried to escape, I would fail, and then it would hurt more than ever." She raised her eyes to his and this time they shone with a shimmer of happiness. "I just needed a little help," she said softly. "I needed a Planeteer." She smiled at him and shrugged. "Wheeler did not put new thoughts into my brain. I had thought of leaving before. I knew what Viktor was doing was wrong. I knew I did not really deserve it, and that the things he was saying to me... That they were probably not true." A faint frown creased her brow.

"But I knew Wheeler would fight for me," she sighed suddenly. "And I thought that perhaps I could fight for myself a little, too."

She squeezed Kwame's hand. "There are some things that will always be worth fighting for," she said. "And I think being a Planeteer is one of those things."

xXx

It was late when Linka returned to her hut. Kwame had promised her he would still be there in the morning, and had gone in search of Gaia, wishing Linka a good night's rest as they parted on the beach.

Wheeler, despite his best efforts, had fallen asleep before her return. She stood in the doorway for a moment, watching him breathe, his face smooth and calm with the ease of sleep.

She undressed quietly and slipped into bed beside him, stripped to a cotton t-shirt and briefs. She was relieved, suddenly, that he had rejected her advances the evening before. Her reasons for wanting to be so close to him had not been the right ones. She didn't want her first time with Wheeler to be prompted by a need for revenge or some sort of competition.

She sighed quietly, suddenly very tired.

Wheeler turned and found her in his sleep, his arm folding its way across her waist and his breath warm and quiet against the back of her neck.

She blinked tiredly, listening to the waves washing up on the shore and the sounds of the jungle around her – sounds which had sounded so unwelcoming and frightening at first. The shadows had been menacing, as though her fears were all waiting there together, waiting to swoop out and snatch at her, taking away any new-found security or happiness she had. But now the noises seemed familiar and the shadows hid nothing but the scent of rain and tropical flowers.

_I am home,_ Linka thought tiredly, closing her eyes and pulling Wheeler's arm closer around her body. _I am finally home._

xXx

Linka awoke when Wheeler climbed back into bed the next morning.

"Where have you been?" she asked sleepily, trying to rouse herself.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Nowhere. The bathroom." He placed gentle kisses along the back of her neck and she smiled and squirmed slightly as he tickled her skin.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep last night," he whispered. "Not before you got back, anyway."

"It does not matter," she answered. "I was speaking with Kwame."

"What?" Wheeler sat up. "He's back?"

"_Da._ But he does not want to stay." She bit her lip, suddenly realising that this meant they would not be staying on Hope Island at all. Suddenly her heart broke and she began to cry. She hadn't realised, until it had become a probable impossibility, just how much she wanted to return to her life as a Planeteer.

"Maybe once we all talk he'll change his mind," Wheeler whispered, stroking her hair soothingly.

"Maybe," Linka agreed. "But he is even more afraid of failing again than I am."

"We're gonna be all right," Wheeler promised quietly.

Linka sighed and wiped her eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's still early," he answered. "No one else is up yet. You wanna go back to sleep?"

She shook her head and took his hand, holding it between her own and making sure his body stayed fitted along hers.

"I gotta say I like sleeping beside you in a warmer climate," he murmured, letting his other hand glide along her bare thigh. "Less clothing to deal with."

She sighed and muttered something he couldn't quite catch – something derogatory, he imagined. He chuckled and planted kisses gently along the back of her neck again.

"We're in for another long day," he whispered, smoothing his hand over her hip and cupping it across her waist.

"I know," she answered heavily. "I am not looking excited – I am – I am..." She trailed off and made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "My English is worse," she moaned.

"Linka, your English is fine," he soothed. "You speak it perfectly."

"_Nyet_," she said. "I know what I want to say but the words get mixed up –"

"You speak it just fine," he said again. "Don't worry, okay?"

She sighed and wriggled back against him. "Today will be hard," she said.

"I know. But we'll get through it. It'll be worth it, right?"

"I hope so," she said, chewing her lip. She squirmed around in his arms until she was facing him, but kept her head tucked beneath his chin. "I have missed Gi," she whispered, her voice so slight she wondered if he had even heard her.

"She's missed you too, babe," he answered softly, running his fingers down her spine. His hand slid under the thin material of her t-shirt and smoothed over the warm skin of her back. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his skin against hers.

"Sometimes I just want to forget everything and try to have it all the way it used to be," she said. "Sometimes I am so desperate to have her as my friend again I am willing to forgive everything she did."

"I'm sure you'll both be close again one day," Wheeler whispered. "Don't be afraid to let her in again, okay?"

"I will try," she answered, closing her eyes. "It is just so easy to be angry with her."

I know," he answered gently. "Anger's a nice, easy defence mechanism. But you've gotta open yourself up to a little bit of vulnerability now and then. Just know I'll be here to catch you if you fall, okay?"

She hugged him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. "And you will catch Gi as well?" she asked, challenging him slightly and hating herself for it.

"I'll juggle you both," he promised, his voice close to her ear. "You just gotta trust me."

She looked up at him. She knew he was in a difficult position. She had promised him she would never make him choose between her and Gi, and she had promised herself never to make it difficult for him.

"_Da,_ okay," she sighed. "I will talk to her. For you."

xXx

Gi rested her head in her hands and stared down into her cereal, which was growing increasingly soggy and less appetising by the minute.

It was still early. The sky was still tinged with indigo and yellow, the sun new and round in the east. Gi had looked out across the bay, but lacked the energy or motivation to go for a morning swim – a feeling which was unfamiliar and depressing. The butterflies which had occupied her stomach the day before had settled into a heavy, leaden mass, making her feel sick and weighed down.

She had desperately wanted to wrap her arms around Linka and cry and apologise – but ten years suddenly didn't seem long enough to prepare her for coming face to face with the woman she had hurt so deeply.

She sighed and traced her finger in a simple pattern on the wooden tabletop. _It's still so raw,_ she thought. _It's going to take a long time. Maybe she'll never forgive me. Ever._

"Gi?"

She looked up, dragging herself slowly from her heavy thoughts, and locked her eyes onto Kwame. She leapt up immediately, sending her chair toppling, and launched herself at him.

He clutched her tightly and smiled.

"You're late," she muttered into his shoulder.

"I apologise," he chuckled, hugging her tightly to him. "Am I forgiven?"

"Mmhm," she mumbled, burying her face against the curve of his neck. "Seen the others?"

"I have spoken with Linka, and Gaia," he said. "I have not seen Wheeler or Ma-Ti yet."

"Wheeler's nervous," she whispered, not letting go of him even when he eased his grip on her. He kept his arms wound around her waist.

"I am nervous too," he admitted.

"You're staying, right?" she asked. "Are you okay?"

"I am okay," he answered. "But I am not sure I want to stay."

She whimpered and gripped her fingers into his shirt. "Please," she whispered. "Please, please..."

"Gi," he sighed, easing away from her, "It was so difficult, surviving the fall. I know I could not survive another one."

"There won't be another fall," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "The first one was my fault."

"I do not think searching for fault or blame will make anything any different," he said gently.

"Please don't make up your mind, yet," she said, her eyes wide as she stared up at him. "Take a chance? I want to try and I think the others do too. I know you don't owe it to us, Kwame, but please give us a chance to make it work."

He stroked her hair, but didn't say anything, and they were interrupted when Ma-Ti strolled into the kitchen with a smile.

"I thought you had arrived," he said cheerfully. "Hello."

Kwame couldn't help but offer a wide grin back to Ma-Ti. "Hello, my friend," he said, opening his arms. Ma-Ti hugged him tightly as Gi stepped aside to wipe her eyes. She took the opportunity to discard her cereal into the compost, giving them a moment alone.

"I knew you would come, eventually," Ma-Ti said, his eyes twinkling.

"I took a lot of convincing," Kwame admitted. "Gaia came to see me again."

"Well, I'm glad you are here, even if it is not for long," Ma-Ti said.

Kwame tilted his head and looked at Ma-Ti for a long moment. "You are not going to convince me to stay longer? Both Linka and Gi have requested I stay..."

Ma-Ti smiled and shrugged. "If you have made up your mind, I do not want to cause you further anxiety."

A slight frown appeared on Kwame's brow, but he was quickly distracted by the arrival of Wheeler and Linka.

Linka took three quick steps and hugged him again. "I am glad you have not left yet," she whispered.

He chuckled. "Not yet."

Gi stepped back into the room, feeling oddly outside of the scene. She sent a hopeful look Wheeler's way, aching to know if he thought there was a possibility she and Linka could repair things. He caught her eye and winked and she breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Wheeler, I am glad to see you," Kwame said, hugging his friend tightly.

Wheeler gave a small laugh and hugged Kwame back, still feeling turbulent anxiety in his stomach. He had never quite managed to shake the guilt and shame he'd felt by letting Kwame down. The Earth Planeteer had always been looked up to by the others – strong and calm, and a natural leader. He was their rock and their guide. When Wheeler and Gi had split the Planeteers, he was sure Kwame had felt himself a failure – a cruel and unnecessary title if ever there was one.

They all stood there for a moment, sizing each other up and noting the differences they could see. There were changes in all of them and it struck them that no matter how often or how little they had spoken to one another over the years, they were now strangers.

"We should talk," Ma-Ti said softly. "The five of us should talk."

The others nodded with nervous agreement. Anticipation and fear hung in the air and Ma-Ti could feel it more than anyone. He felt sorry for them – he had always hoped their reunion would be joyous and full of excitement, but it was clear that they were all worried about what their pasts said about them and what it would mean for the future.

"Let's go outside," he said. "We'll talk. No secrets."

They all exchanged glances and then Wheeler sighed. "Yeah, okay," he said. "Let's talk. No secrets."

xXx


	14. Heart

Ma-Ti led the way. The open-walled hut at the western end of the beach had always been affectionately referred to as 'The Deck', and this is where he took them now. The breeze blew in from the ocean and mingled with the hot, sweet scents of the jungle behind them.

The Planeteers all arranged themselves into a rough circle, pulling out cushions and pillows or simply stretching out on the floor.

Ma-Ti looked at them all, not liking the fact that he had asked them all to share the painful experiences they had been through over the years, but knowing that it was necessary. He desperately wanted trust and love and friendship to connect them all again, and he knew that it wasn't going to be possible unless they truly opened themselves to it.

"I will go first, if you like," he said softly.

Wheeler gave him a small grin. "Didn't think you had any secrets, Ma-Ti."

"I don't, really," he said, frowning slightly as he thought. "But that does not mean my life has been easy."

"That's not what I meant," Wheeler said quickly.

Ma-Ti smiled at him. "I know."

The Planeteers waited as Ma-Ti gathered his thoughts. He wasn't quite sure where to begin.

xXx

"Happy birthday, Ma-Ti."

Ma-Ti gave the Shaman a wide smile. "Thank you, Grandfather."

The old man chuckled and set an old wooden box down on the table. The top was shiny and smooth from repeated handling and use. Ma-Ti looked at it, confused.

"I am not ill," he said, looking up at the man who had raised him.

Shaman laughed. "I know. I am giving this to you as a gift. I think at 18, you are ready for it."

Ma-Ti gasped, his eyes wide. "But this is yours!" he said, looking at the medicine box in front of him. "I cannot take this."

"You are showing such promise to traditional medicines I will be disappointed if you do not take it," Shaman said, sitting down opposite the young man.

Suchi leaned over Ma-Ti's shoulder curiously, touching the top of the medicine box and giving a soft chatter.

Ma-Ti chuckled and rubbed the top of his head. "This is not for you, my little friend," he said. He shifted his eyes back to the Shaman. "I cannot accept this," he said.

"Please," Shaman said, holding his hands up. "You have always indicated a desire to practise the traditional ways of our medicines and healing. You have a great aptitude for it, Ma-Ti. You understand people and you are kind and trustworthy. I would be very happy to see you take my place as the primary healer here."

Ma-Ti felt his eyes welling up and he choked back tears, feeling a little embarrassed. "I am not sure I have what it takes to replace you, Shaman," he said desperately.

"Of course I would not pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with, Ma-Ti," Shaman said gently.

Ma-Ti's eyes widened immediately. "No, that's not what I meant," he said. "I would – I have always wanted to understand more about healing and our rainforest's plants and resources..." He lifted the lid from the box gently, revealing neat packets of dried leaves, powdered flowers, grasses and knobbly roots and bulbs. The smell that floated him into the air reminded him of his childhood – his mother soothing him with a soft voice and silly songs as he lay in the grip of a fever, the Shaman feeding him broth laced with healing herbs and plants.

"Think about it," Shaman said, resting his hand on the top of Ma-Ti's head. "I have absolute faith in you, Ma-Ti."

Suchi tugged Ma-Ti's hair and chattered quietly, looking towards the open window of the Shaman's hut.

"Someone coming to visit, Suchi?" Ma-Ti asked, getting to his feet and smiling as Suchi wound his tail gently around his throat for balance.

Ma-Ti's heart sank when he saw who it was. Orange hard-hats and florescent safety vests showed brightly through the forest, heading for the clearing Ma-Ti's tribe lived in. He could hear swearing and laughter.

"Oh, no," he sighed. "Not again."

He met the loggers at the forest line, anger hot and tight in his chest. He could see Derek Harrison sneering at him – the man had long been trying to clear this section of forest. The trees grew straight and tall and strong and the terrain was less difficult to deal with when you were in a bulldozer. Apparently.

"We told you we are not moving," Ma-Ti said firmly. "You have no right to be here."

"We ain't here to talk with some kid," Harrison scoffed. "Where's your leader?"

Ma-Ti felt the Shaman's hand on his shoulder. "You will listen to Ma-Ti," he said sternly.

Harrison sneered. "You got thirty days to get out a'fore the 'dozers come in. Here." He thrust a folded letter towards Ma-Ti, pinning it to his chest with his hand. "This'll tell ya. Or can't ya read?"

The men behind Harrison snickered.

Ma-Ti scrunched the paper in his fist furiously. "I'm going to stop you," he said. "This forest is ours."

Harrison laughed and shoved Ma-Ti a little, causing Suchi to screech angrily.

"See you in 30 days," the logger said, smirking.

Ma-Ti watched them go with a sinking heart. He turned to the Shaman with tears in his eyes. "We can stop them," he said. "Right?"

Shaman took the letter from Ma-Ti's hand and scanned it. He was never very good at reading, but since Ma-Ti's return from the Planeteers, he admitted to finding it a little easier.

"We have 30 days to fight the decision," he said. "I am not sure what we can do, Ma-Ti. Their efforts have increased so much these past few years. They are determined to clear our forest."

"I will stop them," Ma-Ti promised firmly. "I will go to the city tomorrow and meet with the executives."

"I am not sure you can just walk in and meet with them," Shaman said, looking amused.

"Then I will wait there until they see me," Ma-Ti answered. "We have a right to protect our way of life and our home. I will fight for us." He swept his eyes over the stout, familiar shapes of his village. Wood smoke mingled with the scent of tropical flowers and grass and the sun shone through the forest canopy, filtering to the ground quietly and mingling with breeze and birdsong. His heart lifted.

"I will save our forest," he promised.

xXx

Ma-Ti looked around at his fellow Planeteers with a small smile on his face.

"You never said anything about being trained as a healer," Gi said in dismay.

Ma-Ti smiled at her and shrugged. "It never seemed to matter," he said. "Besides, it is not your fault things did not work out that way. I am proud that I able to take a job that have kept those plants and trees protected and safe from clearing."

"You left the next day?" Linka asked softly.

"Yes – but I did not go to the logging company. Instead I went to an environmental protection agency and asked them to file my section of forest for protection. Once they realised that the loggers intended to move in within 30 days, they moved very quickly. I am still not sure how I managed it all."

"People trust you, Ma-Ti," Kwame said softly. "They know that you are fighting for the right thing."

Ma-Ti smiled at him.

"Did you go back to your village?" Linka asked. "Once it was all over, did you go back?"

"Yes, but not for long," Ma-Ti sighed. "I realised that it was going to be a never-ending fight. There will always be people fighting for destruction."

"But there are people like you, too," Linka comforted. "People fighting for preservation and what is right."

Ma-Ti smiled at her. "I hope so. I soon realised I had to leave. I applied for an entry-level position at the same agency that saved my village." He paused for a moment, and when he spoke his voice was soft and there were tears in his eyes. "Leaving Shaman and Suchi behind was terrible," he whispered. "Especially Suchi. He had been with me for so long... I knew I could survive outside the care of Shaman. But Suchi had been with me for so long. My constant companion... I could not take him to the city."

His tears fell and Gi reached for him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sure Suchi understood," she said gently. "And you visited frequently, right?"

Ma-Ti nodded tiredly. "Going home to my village helped me feel whole again," he said. "Sometimes I felt as though the city took away the core of me. Sometimes it was difficult to remember who I was and what my heart really wanted."

xXx

Ma-Ti disconnected the call, feeling weary. Conference calls always left him feeling drained and he was never entirely sure why. Trying to keep track of several people across various distances seemed to wear on him and beat him down.

He had to remind himself that the voices echoed from the phone, and he was the only one in his office. No one else.

It wasn't that he lacked friends – Ma-Ti seemed to be popular with everyone. He'd never had any trouble with anyone he worked with. They all liked him, inviting him out for dinner and drinks after work, laughing with him and sharing jokes and stories and silliness.

But it wasn't the same as the Planeteers. He kept photos of them pinned to the corkboard in his office. Gi flying in mid-air as she jumped to spike a volleyball on the beach on Hope Island. Kwame in the kitchen with his sleeves rolled up and a grin on his face as he chatted and cooked them all dinner at the same time. And Wheeler, grinning widely with an arm around Linka, looking at her with sparkling eyes as she smiled despite her efforts to discourage him.

Ma-Ti liked that photo the best. He often looked at it, noting the way the camera had captured them gazing at one another, the delightful tension and love and admiration all evident on their faces no matter how they tried to hide it.

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes, aware that he'd been daydreaming again. It had been eight years now. He had tried to tell himself to give up hope. To resign himself to the fact that a desk job was what he was stuck with. Those teenagers in those photos were all grown up now. Their lives were different.

If Ma-Ti wrote out all his achievements on paper, many people would look at them and consider him successful. He was only 24 and he'd managed to rise quite high within a job that garnered him a lot of respect. His work was important – he knew he'd saved other villages, beside his own, and there were endangered plants and animals still in existence because of the preservation work he'd been doing.

But he still felt empty. He could remember each achievement with the Planeteers ending in celebration and happiness. His achievements from his office were no less important, but he never felt as though he had anyone to celebrate with.

His phone rang, disturbing his thoughts. He answered it distractedly, still gazing at the photos on the wall opposite his desk.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Ma-Ti."

Carla. Ma-Ti smiled. He'd been seeing her for a little over six months now. For some reason he hadn't told anyone. He wasn't lying about it or _trying_ to hide it – it was just nice having someone secret to turn to after he'd had a bad day. He had a feeling she was taking things a little more seriously than he was, however. It wasn't that he didn't like her – he did, very much. But he was beginning to feel a little lost. He was beginning to crave something he wasn't sure she could offer him.

"Do you want to come around for dinner?" she was asking him.

"Sure, that would be nice," he said.

"I haven't seen you for a few days. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."

He chuckled. "No, of course not. I'm just busy. But dinner would be nice."

xXx

Dishes were piled in the sink and the smell of spices and curried vegetables still hung in the air. The windows were open to the night and Ma-Ti could hear crickets singing outside as Carla backed against the kitchen counter and kissed him gently.

Her arms slid around his shoulders and he ran his hand around her hip and up under her shirt, touching the warm skin of her back. She smiled and kissed him again.

"Want to stay?" she asked softly, inclining her head gently towards the bedroom.

He smiled and stroked his fingers over her skin for a moment. "Carla," he whispered, "I'm not sure I can keep doing this."

"What?" She looked up at him, confused and anxious.

He touched her cheek gently, hating the fact that he was going to hurt her. "Believe me, I wish I could," he whispered. "I just don't think I can be with anyone right now. It might sound weird, but I don't think one person is enough."

She raised her eyebrow. "Just what are you suggesting?"

He laughed. "No, nothing like that." He kissed her gently. "I can't explain it," he said sadly. "You're amazing, Carla, but I don't think I can be in a relationship like this."

"What sort of relationship do you want?" she asked desperately, taking his hands and holding them tightly. "Are you really going to break up with me after I've cooked you dinner like that?"

"I don't want to break up," he said softly, kissing her. "I'm just not sure how serious I can be when my heart's been designed for more than one person."

"You don't believe in soul mates, Ma-Ti?" she asked, swaying slightly with him. She didn't appear as upset as he thought she was going to be, and he was relieved.

"I do," he answered. "I just don't think I have one."

She lowered her eyes and nodded. "Right."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Really."

"I know." She gave a soft laugh and looked up at him. "I really don't think you're capable of hurting anyone, Ma-Ti." She reached up and put her arms around his neck again. "So you don't want a girlfriend," she said, giving him a gentle smile. "I suppose I can live with that."

"I'm glad," he said, raising an eyebrow back at her.

She gave a sweet giggle that made him smile.

"What do you want?" she asked. "Really?"

"I am not sure I could explain it," he said truthfully. "It is complicated. I suppose I have more love than I could ever offer just one person."

"The world is lucky to have you, then," Carla sighed, kissing him again. "Just promise me something, Ma-Ti?"

He swept her dark hair back and kissed her forehead. "What?"

"Share your love around," she said, closing her eyes and smiling. "Don't shut yourself away in that office for the rest of your life and crave other things. Do something you love. I think when you're happy, everyone else will be happy too."

He kissed her again and hugged her tightly. He wished he could hang onto her forever and feel fulfilled, but he knew it was impossible.

As complicated and unfair as it may have seemed, Ma-Ti and his heart were destined for greater things.

xXx

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Carla?" Gi asked, squeezing Ma-Ti's hand.

"Because you're so bossy," he said, grinning at her. "You'd have had us married by now."

Gi snorted indignantly and Wheeler laughed, prompting laughter from both Linka and Kwame – both of whom paused and realised how long it had been since they had enjoyed themselves enough to laugh spontaneously like that.

"Was she hurt?" Gi asked curiously.

"You know, I don't think she was, really," Ma-Ti mused. "I'm glad. I thought perhaps she was taking our relationship a little too seriously, but maybe I misread her. And I do not mean to make it sound as though I was not serious about her – I was. But I soon realised one person just was not enough."

"Too much love to go around, eh Ma-Ti?" Wheeler asked, leaning back against one of the supporting posts of The Deck with a grin.

"Something like that," Ma-Ti said, blushing. "Though I think you are thinking more about the physical, Wheeler. That is not what I mean."

Wheeler laughed again. "Okay, I'll stop."

Ma-Ti looked around at each of his friends. "There is more to my past," he said. "But if I recount everything over the past ten years, we will be here forever. Does somebody else want to talk for a while?"

Nobody spoke up. Nobody _wanted_ to talk. It just seemed like a necessity.

Kwame ran his hand over his face. "I will go next," he said eventually. He could see the others visibly slump with relief, and for a moment he could remember just what it was like to lead these other four people. He almost felt a small _click_, as though something old and worn and familiar had fallen into place again. Something comfortable. He tried to shake the feeling off, but it was useless. The old patterns were returning – Hope Island had shifted something within them all and they were beginning to remember what it was like to be Planeteers.

Linka was watching Kwame sorrowfully and he smiled gently at her.

"All I ask is that you give me a little time to gather my thoughts," he said softly, looking down at his hands. "I understand the need to talk, but it is going to be difficult for me to relive some of the things I need to talk of."

"We understand, Kwame," Gi said softly, taking his hand.

Ma-Ti reached over and took Gi's other hand, before reaching for Linka. She took his hand, and Wheeler's, and he reached for Kwame's hand. They sat in a circle, physically connected and supportive, waiting patiently for Kwame to speak.

xXx


	15. Love and Loss

Kwame smoothed the papers out again, smiling as he saw his name in neat print. It was only 20 acres of land, but it was all his. He knew that by working the land in the right way, he'd be able to reap its benefits for years to come.

He tucked the papers back into his pocket and strolled along the street, following the crowds that were heading for the Friday markets.

He still wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He was still trying to get used to being just one, instead of one of five. It was six months since leaving Hope Island and he wasn't quite sure which path was destined for Kwame the civilian. Kwame the Planeteer had always had direction and purpose and it was difficult trying to deal with the sudden shift in course.

The town nearest to Kwame's new land was of modest size. There were two schools and just one long main street with the businesses most people deemed essential. But it was enough to support a population of a few thousand and he was enjoying spending his time there.

The markets were bustling and busy. It was late morning and some of the stalls were being packed away already. Others were still filled with trinkets and souvenirs for tourists, fresh fruit and vegetables, preserves and dried meats. Somewhere further over, Kwame could hear cattle lowing and chickens squabbling and fluttering. The smell of dust and manure and people hung thick in the air, mingling with the heat. It was a smell that Kwame found familiar and not entirely unpleasant.

He bought an apple and roamed through the stalls, watching children run and weave through the legs of adults, playing tag and giggling. He watched a butcher carving meat off bone and smoking it over coals and ash surrounding his stall.

He stopped walking when he saw her. He let the crowd shift and swarm around him and the noises and the chaos of the morning went quiet and faded away.

She was inspecting peaches, running her fingers gently over each one, holding them up to the light to inspect the skin and lifting them to breathe in the scent of them. Her hair was short and spiralled, cropped close to the back of her neck. For a moment his fingers itched to trace the smooth warmth of her skin.

He blinked and took a breath. He wasn't a stranger to beautiful women. He'd met a few which had caused him to feel flustered and out of breath during his time with the Planeteers. But he was hypnotised by the woman in front of him now. Her arms were bare – her dress sleeveless and loose, tied at her waist with a bright scarf.

Before he knew it, he'd crossed the aisle between the stalls, stumbling once and causing more than one person to swerve and curse at him.

He had no idea what he was going to say to her. Fate, however, seemed to favour him that day, because she turned to him first.

"Does this seem ripe to you?" she asked, placing a peach in his hand absent-mindedly, her eyes still roaming the stalls. "I wanted plums but there are none here today."

He ran his thumb over the fuzzy skin of the peach. He had only taken a recent liking to them – the rains and the kind weather had enabled local orchards their best produce yet and he'd been enjoying the riches.

"I think it is ripe," he said. "But I am no expert."

She laughed and shrugged. "Neither am I." She took the peach back and smiled at him. "You are not from around here," she said. "You speak differently."

His heart was racing. He suddenly felt distrusting of how easy it had been to approach this beautiful woman and strike up a conversation with her.

"I was born up in Ghana," he said. "And I have been away for the past four years, working overseas."

"Where?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Everywhere," he said, smiling back at her. "I have travelled a lot."

She smiled and reached across to the stall holder, shaking him awake. Kwame hadn't even noticed him until now.

"Two peaches?" she asked. "You don't have any plums?"

"No plums," he yawned. He held out his hand and she dropped coins into his palm before turning back to Kwame.

"I saw you here last week," she said. "You walked everywhere and didn't buy anything."

His heart almost stopped. He wasn't sure whether to be delighted or terrified or embarrassed. "I bought an apple today," he said. "I'm easing my way in."

She laughed and her eyes sparkled. "No, I liked the way you walked around and watched everything. You looked very happy."

"You were watching me?" he asked.

"Oh, only a little," she said, looking embarrassed suddenly. "I didn't mean it to sound like I was following you."

He smiled at her and shook his head. He didn't care if she had been following him.

"I'm new here, too," she admitted. "I don't know many people so I come to the markets and listen and watch."

"Me too," he said with a grin. "Where are you from?"

She pointed to the west. "Six hours that way. In the middle of nowhere."

He chuckled. "Why did you come here?"

"My choices weren't very varied," she admitted. "But you have travelled a lot?"

Kwame nodded, though he wasn't entirely sure he was ready to revisit the story of the Planeteers just yet.

"I think you should tell me more," she said, winking at him. "Come and sit with me?" She held up her paper bag of peaches. "I'll give you fruit."

He laughed, and suddenly decided that he'd discuss anything with her, if she asked. "Okay. Deal."

xXx

"She was more outgoing than me," Kwame said, remembering with a smile. "She was very lively. The centre of attention. When we went places, people could not take their eyes off her. She was beautiful and she knew it, but she was not vain. She smiled and made others smile. I fell in love with her immediately."

Gi squeezed his hand gently. The others were silent, waiting for him to continue.

"I asked her to marry me a year later. She helped to establish the farm. We planted fruit trees – peaches, plums and apples. She kept chickens and helped me to build the fences and the shelters we would keep our animals in. Makena never shied away from hard work. Some days I would be exhausted and she would always be the one to encourage me to keep going and remind me of what I was working for."

He pulled his hands gently out of the grasp of his friends and looked down at them – rough and calloused and torn. "It is very hard, now," he said. "She is not there to keep me going. I was working hard for her and working hard for Safi, and now I have neither of them."

He looked up with a small smile. "She always said Safi looked like me, but he was blessed with his mother's personality."

xXx

"Out!" Adhra cried, waving her arms at Kwame. "She can do it."

Kwame shook his head firmly. "No, I'm going to stay." He knelt by Makena. "Unless _you_ want me to go?" he asked.

"No, stay," she said, smiling breathlessly at him. "I want you here."

He kissed her and turned back to Adhra. "I'm staying," he said firmly. "I want to be here."

He wasn't going to miss out on the birth of his first child just because some cranky old bitch from the next farm over told him it was bad luck for him to be there.

Things progressed quickly and smoothly. Kwame could only watch his wife in amazement, marvelling at the silent strength and confidence she displayed while he sat beside her a nervous wreck.

Safi came into the world just as the first rays of the sun came creeping over the horizon, spreading warm fingers across the earth and sleeping cattle.

Kwame watched as Adhra wiped his son's face gently and placed his tiny, quivering body across Makena's chest. He let out a healthy wail, his fists bunched and his face screwed up and angry.

"Look how beautiful he is, Kwame," Makena breathed. Her pain was small and forgotten. He looked at her and knew she'd never been so happy. It was a look he wasn't sure he would ever see again. It was the look of a mother gazing upon her first child for the first time. Wonder and love and peace. He leaned over and kissed her forehead before turning his full attention to his son.

"He looks like you," Makena said, her smile wide. "Just like you."

Kwame wanted to disagree and tell her he could see her genes there too – but he couldn't. Safi was the image of his father.

He was quiet, and tired. He blinked up at his parents a few times before Makena offered him her breast and he closed his eyes tiredly and suckled against her skin. Kwame offered him a finger and Safi grasped it firmly.

Kwame felt a fierce uprising of love and protection in his heart. Makena had offered him love and happiness, and now Safi offered him purpose.

xXx

Safi was a happy, beautiful baby. He slept and ate and burped. At night his parents would curl up together in bed and murmur about how lucky they were and how perfect their son was.

Kwame took countless photographs. He had no photographs of his family and he didn't want Safi to grow up and wonder what his mother and father had looked like when they were young and happy.

Makena would laugh at him and tease him gently about it before snatching the camera away and snapping pictures of her boys, smiling brightly at them as they both gazed at her adoringly.

Safi's first birthday crept up on them. Makena made a cake which Safi abandoned in favour of breast milk. Kwame sat beside his wife on the front porch and listened to her sing softly to their son, rocking him to sleep.

As happy as the day was, both Kwame and Makena were worried.

The farm was failing.

Rain had not come at all for the past three years. The crops had wilted and failed. The fruit trees had shrivelled and died and the cattle were bony and poorly. Dust and topsoil drifted across the ground. The chickens sat drooped and puffing against the shadow of the house.

Makena looked up at her husband, still humming softly, rocking slowly as Safi blinked and sighed in her arms. "What are we going to do?" she asked.

Kwame shook his head and swallowed. "I'm not sure. I've heard the bank won't give out loans to anyone now. We're one of the last farms still hanging on."

"Adrha said the river is dry," Makena said softly. "I have never heard of that happening before."

"Things are bad," Kwame answered. "I am not sure what we will do if rain doesn't come soon."

"The bank won't take the house, will it, Kwame?" she asked worriedly.

"No. We're not in debt to them." He shook his head. "I'm just not sure what we can do to keep feeding ourselves and the animals."

They had barely any livestock left anyway. They had watched in despair as their cattle had struggled and collapsed under the heat of the sun. They'd done everything they could. Nobody would buy livestock in conditions like this. Nobody could take the cattle off their hands. Kwame had run his bank account as dry as he'd dared, trying to provide for his animals. At some point, he had to stop and admit that the welfare of his small family had become such a desperate priority his animals were going to die.

Makena took his hand and rested her head against his arm. "We'll be okay," she said softly. "Things will work out."

xXx

"Just three weeks later, Safi died," Kwame whispered softly. "Disease struck and many lost their lives. Safi was one of many." He shook his head and tears spilled down his cheeks. "He died in my arms," he croaked. "I could do nothing for him."

He rested himself upon the ground, burying his face in his arms in an effort to hide. The Planeteers leaned over him, trying to soothe him softly with whispers and gentle touches.

"I prayed and prayed and prayed for rain," he sobbed. "I begged for Gaia to help me." He raised his eyes and locked his gaze onto Linka's. "She helped you," he croaked. "She never helped me."

"Kwame..." Linka trailed off, tears running down her face. She shook her head. "I am so sorry," she whispered.

He buried his face again and his voice was muffled. "I fought with her last night," he admitted. "I blamed her for everything. I asked her why she didn't send rain after I'd begged her to help me." He sniffed and closed his eyes.

Gaia's responses to his questions and accusations had been calm but complicated. He knew he couldn't really blame her for what had happened, but blaming _someone_ seemed to ease the pain. It wasn't fair to have so much happiness taken away from him for no tangible reason.

"Makena left me soon after," he whispered. "It was a long time before I saw her again."

xXx

Kwame waited nervously.

Two years since Safi had died and Makena had left – almost 18 months since he'd had any contact with his wife at all.

He looked down again at the letter Makena had sent him. He'd spent the past two weeks spiralling rapidly from delight and anxiousness and grief. He missed her, and in her letter she said she missed him, but there was an ominous feeling across his shoulders he couldn't quite shake.

"Kwame?"

He turned, and was shocked by the difference he saw in her. She had always been slim, but now she seemed frail and too thin. Her skin was dull and her eyes blank. He waited for her to smile, but none came. Instead, she bent her head. Still unable to look at him.

His heart sank and he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly.

"I have missed you," he whispered.

She nodded and clenched his shirt in her hands. "I have missed you too," she admitted.

He kissed her forehead. "Will we go somewhere and talk?"

She nodded gratefully.

They found themselves in Kwame's motel room. Small and cheap. The windows were open and the curtains closed and still against the musty afternoon heat.

"Thank you for coming," she said softly.

He didn't want to let her go. He'd wrapped his arms around her again as soon as the door had closed and he kept her close.

"How are you?" he asked softly, knowing the answer wasn't going to be a good one.

"I still dream about him," she whispered. "I don't know if it's normal, Kwame. Other people lost children and I see them smiling now and moving on with their lives and I can't seem to do it."

"I know," he answered. He swayed with her, kissing the top of her head. He felt her eyes close against his neck. "I dream about him too."

She sobbed and clutched at him. "I want to go back," she breathed. "I don't care if we're dirt poor and we lose our land and our house. I just want our son back."

He didn't know what to say to that. He wanted that too, but they both knew how useless it was. There was no going back.

She curled her arms up around his shoulders and breathed slowly. "I need to ask you something," she said tearfully.

His heart sank. He knew what was coming. They'd been separated for two years now and he had little hope of her coming home to him.

"I know," he whispered.

She nodded and he felt her tears on his skin. "I can't come home," she croaked. "I can see him now when I look at you and I just – I can't do it."

"Don't you want to remember him?" he asked desperately. "He was such a happy baby, Makena. He got that from you. I don't want you to be miserable anymore."

"I know," she sobbed. "I know, but I am. I always will be."

He shook his head and held her close. "Will you be happier with a divorce?" he asked. "Is that what you really want?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I won't be happier. Of course I won't be happier." Her fingers dug into his shoulders. "I just can't come home. I'm not going to get better by going back."

"The farm is gone," he said. "You won't be coming home. Just – you'll just be with me."

She sobbed again and let out a little moan. "I can't. I can't. I'm so sorry."

"I still love you," he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I love you too," she answered, closing her eyes and trying to calm her breathing.

"This should not happen to two people who love each other, Makena."

"I know." She pulled away from him and hung her head. "I just can't do it, Kwame."

He took her hands. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll sign whatever you want me to. But know that I still love you. Know that I want you to be happy and I believe it's possible. Being happy again won't make you a terrible person, Makena. Being happy doesn't mean you don't love Safi."

She nodded and leaned against him again. "I love you," she whispered. "I'll always love you. You'll always be part of me."

He nodded. The lump in his throat was too big for him to speak. He buried his face in her shoulder and they clung to each other.

xXx

The sun was beginning to set when Kwame said he couldn't talk anymore.

"Perhaps we should call it a day," Ma-Ti said. "I am sure we all feel drained. We should eat something and try to think of happier things for a while."

"I think I would like to be alone for a little while," Kwame said softly. His hands were trembling and his face was tear-streaked.

"You're not going home tonight, are you, Kwame?" Gi asked softly, holding his hand.

He shook his head. "There are still things to talk about," he said.

Linka and Wheeler exchanged a glance. They, and Gi, were yet to tell their stories, and the three of them felt unnaturally nervous.

"Make sure you eat something before you go to bed, Kwame," Ma-Ti said worriedly. "We missed lunch."

Kwame just nodded tiredly and the others all murmured short farewells to him before they left him, wandering back up the beach towards the kitchen.

"Where's Gaia?" Wheeler asked tiredly.

"In The Crystal Chamber," Ma-Ti answered. "I think she's waiting for all of us to talk before she comes to us. But you can go and see her, if you like."

Wheeler just shrugged and shook his head. He had a headache and he felt guilty and upset after hearing the stories of Ma-Ti and Kwame that afternoon. He wasn't hungry, but Gi and Ma-Ti were already working together on a stir fry.

Linka sank into a chair at the kitchen table and wiped her eyes. She felt unsettled and tense and she was uncomfortably aware that tomorrow she'd be listening to Wheeler and Gi talk about the past ten years. It was highly possible she'd be hearing about their contact and their meetings and she wasn't sure she wanted to listen to those stories at all.

Nobody felt like talking. Instead, they ate in front of the television, letting it fill the room with talk and noise.

Ma-Ti went to bed first. "I am exhausted," he breathed. "I will see you all tomorrow."

They bid him goodnight and the tension in the air was thick and sudden. Gi and Linka were sitting either side of Wheeler and all of them felt uncomfortable with it.

"I'm going to go to bed as well," Gi said suddenly. "I think I missed some calls today and I should probably try and return them. Gaia said arrangements had been made at work but I should probably call some people..." She trailed off and leapt to her feet. "Goodnight."

"Night," Wheeler answered. He hoped she was all right. He didn't want to upset Linka by spending too much time with Gi, but it was difficult. He and Gi had been so close for so long he hated knowing she was upset or uncomfortable and he couldn't do anything about it.

He turned to Linka. "Ready for bed, babe?"

"I am going for a walk," she said softly, kissing him. "I will be back later."

"Okay. If you need me, just yell out." He nuzzled her neck gently and she smiled and pulled away.

She disappeared out of the kitchen, her head bent and her pace quick and determined.

There was someone she needed to talk to.

xXx


	16. Difficulties

Linka sat in the sand and held her cell phone to her ear, praying that there would be an answer and it wasn't just going to ring, and ring, and ring...

"Ah, I was wondering if I would ever hear from you again," Mishka sighed, not bothering with a formal hello.

Linka laughed softly and closed her eyes at the sound of her brother's voice on the phone. "I meant to call you sooner," she said. "Things have been difficult."

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes," she sighed. "Just tired."

"A feeling I am familiar with."

She heard a gurgle and a series of mumbling, nonsense syllables.

"What is that?" she asked curiously.

"Aleksandr says hello," Mishka chuckled. "He is worried about his Aunt Linka."

She felt a warm glow spread through her heart and down to her stomach. She was sure the smile on her face could rival the light of the sun. She'd never thought of herself as an aunt before.

"Tell him not to worry," she said. "I'm fine. It's just a little overwhelming, having all this happen. Today was a difficult day."

"I know," he said reassuringly. "I'm sure you'll be all right, Linka. Did you have a nice birthday?"

She thought for a moment. "Yes," she answered. "Until Viktor showed up."

"Gaia explained a little of that to me," Mishka said, his voice flinty and hard. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine," she promised again. "Gaia brought Wheeler and I to Hope Island. We're safe here."

"So long as you are both all right," Mishka said worriedly. "I tried to call you but you didn't answer your phone – and then Wheeler wouldn't answer his... I was afraid you had left me again, until Gaia came to explain things."

"I'm sorry you were so worried," she said. "I kept thinking about you and I knew I should call you... Things just got away from me a little."

"I know, it's all right," he said gently. "Are the other Planeteers there?"

"Yes," she answered. "Things are difficult. Today was awful – Kwame and Ma-Ti told us what has happened to them the past ten years... I feel guilty, as though it is all my fault. And Gi and I still haven't spoken properly to one another. I'm not sure what to say to her."

"It will get better," he soothed. "Things will be difficult, but Wheeler will look after you."

She smiled to herself. "I know. How are you, anyway, big brother?"

He laughed. "Tired. The boys are teething. None of us are getting much sleep."

"I will have to come and visit," Linka said wistfully. "I want to meet them."

"They want to meet you, too," he promised. "Wheeler has more photos, I believe."

"He does?" Linka asked. "He has never showed me!"

"I am sure his mind has been on other things," Mishka said, sounding slightly amused.

She sighed. "I suppose."

Mishka paused. "Are you sure you're all right, Little Linka?"

She smiled. "I'm sure. I am just anxious about having to speak to Gi. I am not sure if Wheeler told you everything –"

"He did, eventually," Mishka interrupted softly. "I think it was the only time I have argued with him."

Linka bit her lip. "You did?"

"I was very angry with him for hurting you like that. I was sure something like that must have happened, but to have it confirmed was awful."

"I know," she whispered. She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. "I am not sure how I can talk to Gi," she admitted softly.

"I know," Mishka said sympathetically. "It's going to be difficult. But if it's any consolation, Linka, I know she has changed since all of that happened. She stuck by Wheeler through some very tough times."

"Yes, they stuck together quite well," Linka said icily.

"You know what I mean," Mishka said gently. "It would have been very difficult for her, seeing him struggle with the problems he has faced."

Linka bit her lip. "I know."

"I know it will be hard to forgive her," Mishka said. "But I'm sure you can, Linka. You have a beautiful heart and I'm sure that deep down you know Gi would never truly mean to hurt you."

"You are on her side as well?" Linka asked, choking back a sob.

"Of course not," Mishka answered gently. "But she and Wheeler are good people. Everyone loses their way sometimes."

Linka wiped her eyes. "I know," she whispered. "I lost my way too."

"Why don't you talk to her?" Mishka asked softly. "I'm sure she wants to make things right and I'm sure you miss her..."

"I do," Linka admitted. "I'm just so scared to trust her again."

"I know," he soothed. "Just remember that I'll always be here and you always have someone to turn to or somewhere to go if thing get too difficult. Okay?"

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I know. Thank you."

"I love you, Little Linka. Take care of yourself."

"I will. I love you too. I'll call you again soon."

"I'm looking forward to it already," he promised.

She laughed and wiped her final tears away. "Goodbye, Mishka. I hope you get some sleep tonight."

He chuckled. "So do I. Talk to you soon, Linka. Goodbye."

She hung up and hugged herself, taking a moment to think and look up at the stars.

_Not tonight_, she thought. _Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will talk to Gi._

She got to her feet and wandered back down the beach, listening to the waves washing up against the shore. She suddenly ached to fall into bed and sleep beside Wheeler's warm body.

But something caused her to stop suddenly.

Gi was sitting on one of the bench seats by the beach, sobbing. Wheeler was kneeling in front of her, murmuring to her softly and holding her hands. Linka could see him running his thumbs over her skin.

She hovered, not sure what to do. She didn't really want to witness a close moment between Wheeler and Gi, but it was obvious something was very wrong.

Wheeler reached up and stroked Gi's hair gently and she nodded in response to something he had said to her. He squeezed her hands and got up and left her.

_Bozhe moy_, Linka thought angrily. _She's still crying! Don't leave her there._ She stormed towards Gi, furiously sending one thought out to Wheeler. _Idiot._

"Gi?" she asked.

Gi jumped and turned around. Her face was flushed and tear-streaked and she looked embarrassed when she realised Linka was there.

"Hi," she sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"What is it?" Linka asked, suddenly feeling awkward. In her haste she hadn't thought about being alone with the Water Planeteer – something which was still uncomfortable.

"Oh, I don't know why I'm so upset," Gi said, hiccupping slightly and giving Linka an embarrassed smile. "I shouldn't be."

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable standing nearby, Linka gingerly sat herself down beside Gi. "Are you homesick?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," Gi answered, giving her a watery smile. She wiped her eyes again. "I really don't know why I'm crying so much," she said. Her voice sounded strained, as though she could barely hold herself together. "One of the calls I missed today was from my ex-husband. I just called him back and said he was getting remarried. I guess it – I guess with everything else that's happened over the past couple of days, it just sort of..." She broke down into sobs again and Linka put hand on her shoulder in alarm.

She'd had no idea that Gi had been married before. Over the years, Linka had suffered many fears, and one of them had been Wheeler and Gi continuing a relationship after the Planeteers had split. She had often worried about them being together and being in love and forgetting about her. She still hadn't quite managed to abandon that fear completely.

She suddenly realised she'd reached out and made contact with Gi. She stiffened, unsure if Gi would want her to offer a touch. Her heart started beating rapidly as she realised her distrust and the desire to keep her distance were slipping.

Knowing she couldn't very well take her arm away now, she hastened to distract Gi with conversation.

"I did not know you were married," she said, aware that she sounded as nervous as she felt.

"It hasn't even been that long since our divorce," Gi wailed. "I didn't think he'd find it that easy to move on..." She buried her face in her hands and Linka could feel her body shaking with sobs.

"Gi," she said in dismay, "I am sure things will be all right..."

"I know," Gi agreed, nodding and furiously trying to wipe away the tears that continued to spill down her cheeks. "I guess I'm just tired or overly-emotional or something. I don't know." She rested her elbows on her knees and put her head in her hands. Linka kept her hand on Gi's shoulder, not really knowing what to do.

"We left things on good terms, really," Gi said softly, speaking almost to herself. "Considering how often we fought towards the end, the divorce went smoothly... But I never really thought about him marrying someone else. And it's so _soon._"

Not sure what she could say, Linka hesitantly applied a gentle pressure on Gi's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

Gi wiped her eyes again and turned her head towards Linka, looking up at her from her somewhat hunched position. "Why are you up, anyway?" she asked in a quiet voice. "I hope I didn't wake you."

Linka withdrew her hand and shook her head. "_Nyet._ I am just – I have been thinking too much, for sleep," she said, fixing her eyes on the ocean.

Gi nodded and sat up straight again. "Yeah," she sighed. "Me too."

"I am nervous about tomorrow," Linka admitted. "I am not sure I can talk about the past ten years like Ma-Ti and Kwame did."

"I'm not sure I can do that either," Gi answered. "The stupid thing is, the guys already know everything about me. I kept in touch with all of them." She frowned down at the ground. "I guess it's just hard to get it all out at once and have it in the open again."

Linka didn't say anything. She chewed her lip silently. She still had no idea what she would say when the time came for her to share her past. Honestly, she didn't think she had that much to share. She had worked hard on one project through her employment with Viktor and as soon as it had been accomplished and sold off, she'd been 'let go' by the company. Ten years with Viktor added up to a lot of fear, a lot of bruises, three cracked ribs, regularly bruised kidneys and terrible isolation. Not to mention the loss of who she had been before, and the guilt and shame she felt for allowing that person to be beaten into submission in the first place.

"Do you think Kwame is going to want to stay?" Gi asked after a moment.

"I am not sure." Linka bit her lip as she recalled Kwame's sobs that afternoon.

Gi glanced towards the kitchen. Wheeler had disappeared after offering to fetch her a glass of water. She'd assumed he'd seen Linka there and had simply left the girls alone, hoping that they'd be able to talk without his presence there to ease the tension.

Linka slapped at a mosquito, suddenly, and Gi jumped.

"Are you being bitten?" she asked. She could remember Linka was always the first to suffer from mosquito bites – the zinging insects seemed to love her more than they did the others. Wheeler used to joke about it – telling Linka her body was irresistible to anything.

"_Da,_" Linka sighed. "I had forgotten about the insects here."

Gi smiled and wiped her eyes. "Let's go in," she said. "I don't want you to be eaten alive out here."

xXx

Linka hovered in the doorway to Gi's hut. Some deeply-trenched, overpowering urge had led her to make sure Gi was put to bed safely. She realised, with a hint of annoyance, that she was concerned about her welfare.

Gi sat on the edge of her bed, looking exhausted and pale.

"I am going to bed," Linka said eventually. "I am tired."

"You – do you want to stay a bit longer?" Gi asked hopefully. "We don't have to talk about anything too heavy..." She shook her head and looked down at her knees.

Linka didn't particularly want to stay, but her conscience urged her to step closer. _She is still so upset,_ she thought helplessly. _Why can I not leave her now, even when she deserves to hurt?_

Gi gave her a shaky smile and motioned towards the chair at her desk.

Linka shook her head. "I will stand," she said quietly.

Gi just nodded and wiped her eyes again. "God," she sniffled, sounding disgusted with herself. "What's wrong with me? I mean – I mean I don't love Jin anymore or anything, I just..." Her voice wailed away to nothing and Linka bit her lip, not sure what to do. In the close confines of Gi's hut, she couldn't find the courage to step forward and offer a shoulder for Gi to cry on.

Desperation led her to ask questions, her voice husky with nervousness. "How long were you married?" she asked.

Gi wiped her eyes. "Not quite four years," she said. "Pretty pathetic, huh?" She offered Linka a weak smile. "I should never have married him in the first place. We disagreed on too many important issues and I stupidly thought we'd just work it all out later. Wheeler warned me not to –"

She broke off suddenly and pressed her lips into a thin line, shaking her head.

"He warned you not to what?" Linka asked sharply, not appreciating the sudden silence.

"No, I'm not hiding anything from you," Gi hastened to explain. "I just didn't know if you wanted me to mention him..."

"Oh," Linka scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. "Thank you for shielding me, Gi."

"I wasn't sure if it'd hurt you too much," she said, looking up at Linka with wide eyes. "I didn't mean –"

"Forget it," Linka answered tightly. "If you are feeling better, I will go back to my room."

"Please stay," Gi begged. "We have to talk sooner or later."

"_Da_, we do," Linka agreed. "But it is too hard, right now."

"When will it get easier?" Gi asked desperately. "Linka, I've tried to figure this out for ten years. I've tried to prepare what I would say to you and I just – I can't. I don't think there's anything I can say to you to make up for what I did."

"You cannot make up for what you did," Linka answered, avoiding Gi's eyes. "What you and Wheeler did..." She shook her head. "It was the worst thing anyone ever did to me."

"I know," Gi said softly. "And I'm so sorry..."

"You were my best friend," Linka whispered, looking at Gi finally. Tears glimmered in her eyes. "I told you everything. I loved you."

"I know," Gi croaked. "I know. It was so selfish of me, Linka. And it was all my fault – I was the one who started everything. Wheeler was so confused and so guilty and he loved you so much..." She wiped her eyes. "He's looked for you ever since," she whispered. "I know he only moved to St Petersburg three years ago, but there wasn't a day that went by he didn't think of you or didn't regret what we'd done."

"He has told me," Linka answered, leaning against the wall.

"I know it's going to be harder to forgive me," Gi said. "If you ever can, that is. I know the last time I spoke to you, you said you never wanted to see me again..."

Linka nodded, and hesitated slightly before she spoke again. "I am sorry I slapped you," she whispered.

Gi looked up in surprise. "No, I deserved it," she said.

Linka shrugged uncomfortably. "It is not something I am proud of," she said. "Hitting you." She paused for a moment and then straightened up. "I am going to bed," she said. "I am tired."

"Oh, please stay," Gi answered, leaping to her feet. "Please. Stay and talk to me. I know we can't go back to what we had, Linka, but I miss you so much... Stay and talk to me. Even if you just listen. I'll tell you about Jin – or, or I can tell you about Wheeler and how –"

"How will that possibly make me feel better?" Linka cried. "It is not bad enough all of this has to be dragged up again? Now you have to prove to me that you still had him all this time and I did not?"

Gi gaped at her, her eyes wide with alarm. "No!" she said, sounding horrified. "That's not what I meant at all! I just thought you might want to hear how he was looking for you, or the –"

"You need to make me feel guilty for leaving him behind?" Linka snapped. "You do not think I have suffered enough for this already?"

Gi held her hands up, looking panicked. "Linka," she whispered, "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel worse – I just thought that Wheeler is common ground –"

"Suddenly I do not feel so terrible for smacking you in the face!" Linka snarled. "And that is saying something, Gi."

"_Please_," Gi begged. "I don't want to fight with you. Please just stay and talk to me. We can talk about anything you want. I just want to get to know you again..."

Linka's head was pounding. She knew she had over-reacted to what Gi had said, and that Gi hadn't intended any harm, but suddenly it was easier to remain angry with her than to risk getting close again. Suddenly all she could think about was how hurt she had been and how another betrayal would hurt even more.

"You should call Wheeler," Linka said coldly, turning towards the door. "I know you like to talk to him late at night..."

"Oh, Linka, don't," Gi begged. "Don't, don't go!" She reached out and caught Linka's arm, urging her back.

Linka whirled around and wrenched her arm away, her eyes wide with sudden terror. Gi realised her mistake instantly and opened her mouth to apologise, but Linka spoke first, quickly veiling the fear that had been present on her face.

"Do not ever touch me again," she whispered icily. "Do not ever grab me like that again, or try to force me to stay –"

"I wasn't," Gi whispered. "I wouldn't."

Linka opened the door and shut it behind her quietly, leaving Gi in the dark quiet of her bedroom.

xXx

Wheeler stopped at the path that wound its way between the Planeteer huts. He'd been in the kitchen, staying out of the way after realising Linka had approached Gi. But they had both left and now he was tired. He wanted to go and make sure they were both okay, but he was distracted by the sight of rough footprints in the sand. He gazed at them, scattered and hurried as though someone had run fast and far.

After another moment's thought he jammed his hands in his pockets and followed them, a slight frown creasing his brow.

When he saw Linka slumped face-down in the sand, he broke into a run. "Linka?" he cried.

She sat up quickly, her face pale and tear-streaked, relaxing when she saw who it was.

"God, I thought you'd collapsed or something," he said, falling to his knees beside her. "What's wrong?"

She wiped her eyes, crusting sand across her cheeks. She had simply run until she couldn't go any further – dropping to the sand and burying her face against her arms, sobbing until she had run out of breath.

"I had an argument with Gi," she admitted quietly, hugging her knees.

Wheeler's heart sank. "You did, huh?"

"It was my fault," Linka whispered, not meeting his eyes. "She did nothing wrong – I just wanted to shout at her..."

Wheeler reached over and stroked her hair. "You okay?"

She looked at him miserably. "I miss her," she said. "I am just too scared."

"I know, babe," he said softly. "You're both havin' a rough time."

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "She said her ex-husband is getting married again."

"Yeah." Wheeler sounded bitter. "They've been divorced for like a year and he's already..." He trailed off and shook his head.

"You never talk about her," Linka said softly.

"Figured you never wanted me to," he whispered. "Seemed easy to pretend it was just you and me."

"That is hardly fair to Gi," Linka answered, raising her eyes to his.

He looked wretched. "I know. I love her to bits and I just – I didn't want that to hurt you."

Linka leaned towards him and rested her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. "I am sorry you are in the middle," she whispered.

He squeezed her tightly. "I'll survive," he said. "But I want the two of you to be happy. I know it's not easy, babe, and I know it'll take a while, but please believe her when she says she's sorry. She really is. She just wants things to be the way they used to be."

"So do I," Linka sniffled. "But I trusted her once and –"

"It was my fault too," Wheeler soothed. "I should get just as much of the blame as her."

"I never told you how I felt about you," she said, looking up at him. "She knew."

"It doesn't matter what you told me, or didn't tell me," he said. "I loved you and that should have been enough to stop me."

She sighed and scrubbed her palms over her face. "I am so tired," she whispered.

"Me too. Let's go to bed."

She reached up and kissed him. "I need to speak with Gi," she said. "I cannot go to bed without apologising."

He smiled and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her gently. "I love you," he said. "It kills me that I hurt someone so good and so beautiful."

Linka just shook her head tiredly and he kissed her again and pulled her to her feet.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "I will come to bed in a moment."

"Take your time."

They parted outside of Gi's hut, and Linka watched him go before she raised her hand and knocked hesitantly.

xXx


	17. Forgiveness

Gi stroked Wheeler's brow, watching him twitch and shiver beneath the heavy pile of blankets she'd heaped on him. Soon he'd kick them all off and she'd watch him sweat and ache and moan before she'd have to pile them all back onto him again.

She wondered for the hundredth time about calling an addiction centre – this problem seemed too big and too serious for her to deal with alone. She wasn't even sure if what she was doing was right – and she had no idea what the coming days would bring.

He twitched again and his eyes opened, brilliantly blue, but blank and dazed, not focusing on her or seeing what was in front of him.

"She'll be with Mishka," he whispered.

"I know, sweetie," Gi answered gently, not sure if he'd even hear her. "It'll be okay."

He closed his eyes again and groaned softly. She stroked his damp hair and watched his eyelids flicker and jump as he dreamed and dozed, the fever gripping him fiercely and taking him to places that caused him to cry hot tears and groan Linka's name through clenched teeth.

She was exhausted, but she dare not sleep in case he needed her. She was all he had, and what if she fell asleep and he woke up and disappeared on her? As much as she wanted to trust him, she knew he was grappling with a problem that was too difficult for him to beat alone. Given the chance, she was sure he'd disappear out the door in search of the drug which had offered him such a chance at escape.

She kept herself awake with strong, bitter coffee, drinking it hot and letting it sit in her empty stomach until she felt sick and greasy with it. When his fever finally broke she peeled his wet pyjamas from his body and tucked a clean blanket around him. The world swam in front of her eyes.

She bent over him again, listening to his breath and checking for a smooth, steady pulse in his wrist.

"You're not going to wake up and leave, are you?" she whispered, smoothing the blankets over his chest. "I need to sleep, Pyro." She kissed his forehead, relieved at the cool touch of his skin. "Don't go anywhere, okay? We'll beat it. It's okay."

She slept fitfully beside him, though he didn't move for hours. She woke constantly, checking his breathing and his temperature and making sure his body was still heavy and peaceful beside hers.

When he woke, he was frightened.

"I can't move," he whispered. His eyes were wide with fear. "I can't."

"No, it's okay," she promised. "You're just dehydrated. We'll get your fluids up and see if you can eat something and –"

He shook his head and closed his eyes as the world spun in front of him.

"Okay, no food just yet," she whispered. "But you need to drink something. We'll take it slow."

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she answered, cupping her palm over his brow. "I'm here, and I'll be here until I know you're okay. You'll get better – I promise."

She cradled his head and gradually dosed him with small sips of water. More often than not his stomach would cramp and he'd moan and cry and bring up pale puddles, but she knew his body was absorbing it little by little. He was restless and uncomfortable, unable to fall asleep again without the aid of a fever – which in retrospect now seemed blissful compared to the intensity of consciousness.

By the following evening he was able to sit up in bed, shaky, pale and tired.

"I wish Linka was here," he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning into his pillows. "I love her."

"I know you do," she answered softly, holding his hand. "Do you want me to try and call her?"

"She's gone," he answered faintly. "I tried."

"Maybe I can find a new number for her," Gi offered.

"I dream about her all the time," Wheeler said. "I see her everywhere and all I can think about is how I hurt her."

Gi felt tears aching behind her eyes. "I know," she whispered. "Me too."

He looked at her tiredly. "Love you," he said softly. "Love you always. But she's my soul and now she's gone." He closed his eyes and let his body sink heavily into the mattress. "Think I've died," he whispered. "Feels like I've died, Gi."

xXx

Gi clenched her fingers into her pillow as she heard the soft knock at her door. She was in no mood to talk to anyone – she was certain her throat had closed up, anyway. Her bedding was wet with tears and her lungs ached whenever she tried to take a new breath.

She buried her face in her pillow again, hoping that whoever it was would leave her alone. Unfortunately, she heard her door open.

"Gi?"

She looked up in alarm. "Linka."

"_Da._ I came to apologise." Linka edged her way in the door and closed it gently, though she hovered close to it as though planning a hasty escape.

"You don't need to," Gi answered tiredly, turning away and facing the wall. "I get it."

"Please face me," Linka requested after a moment. "This is hard enough without having to talk to the back of your head."

Gi hesitated a moment before rolling over to look at Linka. She wasn't sure which one of them looked more wretched.

"I am sorry about before," Linka said, looking down at her clasped hands. "I over-reacted. I suppose I was looking for an argument."

"It's okay," Gi whispered. "I've been guilty of that before. Jin used to accuse me of enjoying arguments."

Linka couldn't help the smile that quirked at the edges of her mouth. "Was it because you won?"

Gi gave a small laugh and sat up, wiping her eyes. "I never won arguments with him." She paused for a small moment. "Sometimes I'd call Wheeler and boss him about just to make up for it."

Linka fidgeted nervously. "I am glad you were there for him," she said. "I am glad you helped him through these past ten years. It is a relief knowing that he had someone."

"God, it was all my fault," Gi whispered suddenly. "I hurt him, too. Everything that's happened to us over the past ten years is all my fault. Ma-Ti having to give up Suchi and work in a job he hates. Kwame struggling to make a living on his farm and then losing his son. You, being with Viktor and having him hurt you like that. And Wheeler..." Her voice cracked but she continued in a husky whisper. "He nearly died," she said softly. "I thought – I mean..." She closed her eyes and tears slipped down her face. "I can remember looking at him and thinking that those moments I was watching were the final ones of his life and it was all my fault."

She opened her eyes again and looked at Linka desperately. "Hate me," she said softly. "I'll understand. But I've been punished too, Linka. Watching everyone go through all of this, because of me? Because of a few moments of selfishness? I can't explain the pain that's caused me."

Linka frowned down at the floor. "It is not your fault I went with Viktor," she said quietly. "That was my decision. It was the wrong decision..." She gave Gi a helpless smile. "Mishka warned me not to go, but I was so stubborn..."

"You weren't thinking straight, and that was my fault," Gi whispered desperately.

Linka raised her eyebrows. "You and Wheeler are taking too much credit," she said dryly. "I did have _some_ shred of personality left when I got home, you know. Besides, the situation we were in... I think it manipulated all of us, Gi. We all pulled away from one another and withdrew, instead of discussing our troubles like we usually would." She shook her head and looked at the floor, speaking softly. "We were young. Teenagers make mistakes. It is easy for me to forget how difficult the mission was and simply focus on what happened between us, but the truth is, we were all affected badly by the circumstances of that mission. I did not feel like myself and I should not judge you on your actions if you were not feeling yourself, either."

Gi gazed back at her. "I asked everyone to take that mission," she whispered.

"We could have said it was too hard," Linka answered. "But we did not. Because we were not the kind of people to leave others in danger or in trouble. And so many of those students have better lives now, because we did what we did. Perhaps we should look at it that way. Perhaps we should believe that our pain was a small price to pay for the greater good."

Gi wiped her eyes. "I still hear from David," she said softly. "He's still teaching at that same school. I can show you some of his letters..." She frowned, realising suddenly that she had so few possession with her. Clean clothes and toiletries seemed to keep showing up, but her more personal belongings were still in her small bedroom in Australia.

Linka smiled tiredly and nodded. "I would like to hear of the differences we made," she said. "That the suffering we have been through was worth it."

Gi seemed to sink a little, burying her face in her hands. "Oh, I've got such a headache," she whimpered.

Linka bit her lip and went to Gi's bathroom cabinet, hoping that Gaia had stocked it with supplies. She shook two aspirin into her palm and filled a glass with water before returning to Gi and offering them gently.

Gi took them gratefully, crunching the pills once between her teeth before swallowing them together.

Linka winced. "I am not sure how you can stand the taste of that," she said. She sat gingerly beside Gi, keeping a decent distance between them. They seemed to have silently reached a mutual decision to end the subject of that final mission.

Gi gave a small, tired smile, setting the glass down on her bedside table. "I never knew where you were," she said softly, changing the direction of the conversation again. "Sometimes I made things up, you know? Tried to guess what you were doing."

Linka's heart sank. "Nothing exciting," she answered.

"I used to picture you happy," Gi said wistfully, closing her eyes. "I always hoped you and Wheeler would meet up some day and still be in love, but sometimes I pictured you married to someone. Someone nice, of course. Handsome. And you'd have two children and you'd teach them piano and all the words to those beautiful poems you used to read. And maybe you'd tell them about the Planeteers..." She blinked back tears.

"Two children?" Linka asked with a faint smile.

Gi shrugged and gave a small laugh. "Maybe I was projecting my own desires, a little. Jin and I tried for the full extent of our marriage to have kids, and it didn't work."

"Why not?" Linka asked impulsively. She bit her lip. "You do not have to answer –"

"We never got an answer," Gi said tiredly, shrugging her shoulders. "It just didn't work."

Linka felt pity strike her heart. She had always felt enormous relief whenever confirmation came that she wasn't pregnant. Not that she and Viktor had tried, necessarily – but there had been times she had been unable to renew a particular prescription or ensure a decent measure of safety, simply because Viktor decided where she was and what she did at all times. Taking care of something as simple as birth control was difficult when Viktor refused to allow her to see a doctor or make purchases without him.

"I am sorry, Gi," she said softly.

Gi nodded, and she was silent for quite a while. "I was pregnant, once," she said softly. "But it didn't – something went wrong." She shook her head and drew in a shaky breath.

Linka reached for her immediately, her eyes wide. Just before her hand came into contact with Gi's shoulder, she withdrew as though burned. She was immediately ashamed of herself, but couldn't bring herself to reach back again. Gi didn't appear to notice.

"I haven't told anyone," Gi said softly.

"Wheeler does not know?" Linka asked, unable to help herself.

Gi shook her head, looking pale. When she spoke, her voice quivered. "Could you – could you not tell him?" she asked desperately.

Linka's blood turned to ice. "When did this happen?" she asked. Her voice was tight and she could feel another argument coming on.

Gi looked at her in surprise, and then realised what was wrong. "No," she gasped. "No, no, it's not that. It wasn't Wheeler's. I wasn't – we were safe." She swallowed and her face coloured slightly. She looked away and sounded tearful when she spoke again. "This happened not long after Wheeler went to find you in Russia. I didn't want him leaving St Petersburg to come to me, and I think he would have, if he'd have known. Jin and I started arguing all over again..." She trailed off and shook her head.

Linka watched as Gi hung her head and closed her eyes.

"It was awful," she whispered. "The tests never showed a thing wrong with either of us, but I just couldn't..." She shrugged. "Jin insisted on more tests. More tests, more bed rest. He used to line up vitamin pills and make sure I took them every morning. Insisted that we were doing something wrong. And I got so fed up with it I started to resent him... Everything just fell apart."

She drew in another shaky breath. "I had no one to talk to," she said softly. "I kept in touch with Kwame, and Ma-Ti, and Wheeler, but all I wanted was to have my old best friend back." She looked at Linka with eyes that were full of tears. "You were the only one I wanted. You were the only one I felt I could talk to."

Linka reached out, then, and stroked Gi's hair away from her face very slightly.

Gi visibly sank with relief. Her body slumped and she started to cry in earnest, though they weren't solely tears of sadness. Relief and hope had crept up inside her.

"I'm so sorry, Linka," she moaned. "I'll understand if you can't forgive me for what I did. But I've been paying for it ever since. I've hurt so many people. I've ruined lives. All because of one stupid, stupid mistake." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, huddling into herself.

Linka ran a hand through her hair, feeling tired. "I almost made a mistake last night," she said softly. "Like you."

"What do you mean?" Gi croaked, rummaging for tissues.

"I wanted closeness and – and, uh – the..." She cringed and wracked her brain for the word she needed. "Reassurance," she said eventually. "Wheeler would not."

Gi wiped her face. "He wouldn't?"

Linka shook her head and gave an embarrassed smile. "I am glad," she admitted softly. "It was for the wrong reasons."

"You belong together," Gi said.

"It is too soon," Linka answered. "I am not ready. I am glad he could see that, even if I could not." She paused for a moment, listening to Gi's hiccupping breath.

It was late, and they were both exhausted. Gi was physically trembling.

Linka decided to push her own weariness further. Her thoughts ran like water and got lost and she decided to blame her exhaustion if anything went wrong with what she was about to do.

"Gi," she whispered.

Gi looked at her and gave her a shaky smile. Her face was pale and tear-streaked.

"I am so nervous," Linka admitted. "I love Wheeler. But I have only ever been with Viktor and I am afraid that things with Wheeler could change if –"

"Don't worry about it," Gi said softly. She gave Linka another small smile. "You think about it too much and you'll make it worse. Wheeler loves you and you love him, and that'll make it okay."

Linka swallowed, feeling embarrassed and more than a little ridiculous. Gi reached over and gently took her hand, giving her fingers a small squeeze.

"I know it'll be hard to trust me again," she whispered. "But I'm here, okay? If you need me for anything."

Linka nodded. She didn't say anything, but she suddenly felt very grateful, and she realised for the first time in years just how much she had missed having a friend to talk to.

"You said you had no one to talk to," she said to Gi. "Neither did I."

"I know," Gi answered. "I'm sorry."

"That was Viktor's fault," Linka whispered. "Not yours. Viktor's fault, and mine."

Gi squeezed her hand again. "You've got me, if you want me," she said. "And Wheeler. And Mishka." She gave a weak smile. "You're the only Planeteer with a sibling. Even if things go wrong tomorrow and we all go home, you'll still have someone waiting for you. And Wheeler will follow you too, even if he's not invited."

Linka gave a soft laugh and Gi's smile grew a little.

"Hey, Linka?" Gi asked.

Linka looked at her.

"I'm not going to push anything on you," Gi whispered. "I know this is going to be hard, and it's not going to be fixed with one late-night conversation. But please believe me when I say I'm here if you ever want to talk, and if there's anything I can do, just let me know, okay? You can always turn to me if you need a friend. I'm never going to hurt you again."

Linka nodded slowly. "I would like to be friends again," she admitted. "There are some things I still need to think about."

"I know," Gi answered. "Me too."

Linka nodded and sighed. "Gi, I am going to bed," she said. "I am tired."

"Okay," Gi agreed. "Me too."

After a moment Linka gave her hand a squeeze. She left quietly, breathing a sigh as she entered the warm night air again. Her heart felt a little lighter.

xXx

"You should eat something, Wheeler."

He looked up irritably. "I'm not hungry."

Gi bit her lip and gazed at him. "You can't expect to get better if you don't eat," she said.

"I'm hardly expecting to get better at all!" he snarled at her. "I'm trying, okay? It's hard!"

"I know," she soothed. "I just want you to keep your strength up."

Wheeler fumed. _If I had the strength, I'd wrap my hands around your throat._

Suddenly alarmed at the violent thoughts he was having, he started to cry.

"Don't," he begged, seeing her step towards him. "Leave me alone."

"It'll be okay," she promised, crawling across the bed to him.

"I said leave me alone!" he roared, kicking away from her. "All of this is your fault anyway! If you hadn't come crawling into my bed none of this would have fucking happened."

She visibly flinched and withdrew quickly, her face draining of its colour. "Okay," she whispered. She scurried away into the next room, out of sight.

He collapsed onto his back. The mood swings he was having were exhausting him. He couldn't keep up with them. One moment he felt angry and violent and the next he was bursting into tears and sobbing his heart out.

It didn't help that he was horny as hell. Apparently his sex drive had been beaten into submission by the heroin, and now without the drug it was back with a vengeance. Not that he had the strength or the stamina to do anything about it.

And it was Gi, anyway. That was what had landed him in this position in the first place. Guilt and self-loathing gnawed at him as he recalled what he had just said to her.

"Gi," he called weakly.

She appeared within a few seconds, her face tear-streaked and her eyes red-rimmed. "What is it?" she asked softly. "You okay?"

He looked at her with pity. No matter what he said to her, no matter how he acted – if he called for her, she came instantly. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I know. It's okay." She wiped her face, but didn't come any closer.

"I'm scared," he whispered. "You can't stay here forever. How am I gonna do this alone?"

"Oh, Wheeler, you don't need to worry about that yet," she promised, crossing the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. "You won't be alone."

"I will," he said desperately. "You're gonna leave and I'll have to do this by myself."

"You'll be okay," Gi said firmly. "You're going to get back on your feet and you're going to be just fine. I promise." She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

He clutched at her and let his fingers grip the hem of her t-shirt.

"Stay," he moaned. He looked up at her pleadingly.

"I'm staying for a while yet," she promised. "Until you're ready, okay?"

"I'll never be ready," he whimpered. "I'll be all alone. I can't be alone, Gi. Look what happened to me." He moved his hand up her waist and over her ribs, letting his palm graze the side of her breast. "Don't leave me," he whispered. "I'll fail."

"No you won't," she promised gently. She took his hand and moved it away from her body.

"Please," he whispered, reaching for her again. "Stay close." He buried his face against her shoulder and let his tongue move against the pulse in her neck.

She pushed him away gently, easing his body back towards his rumpled pillows. "Get some sleep," she said.

Humiliation and hurt and anger and guilt all boiled up inside him again. "Oh," he scoffed. "Apparently you'll only fuck someone when _you_ need comfort."

She shook her head, tears in her eyes again, and dragged her body out of his grasp, closing his bedroom door firmly behind her.

xXx

"Wheeler?"

He jumped and noticed Linka standing in the doorway with a look of concern on her face.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Nothin'," he said, sitting up straight and pushing the last shreds of the memory away.

Linka gazed at him steadily.

"I was remembering an argument I had with Gi," he said, realising she wasn't going to rest until he told her the truth. "Something stupid."

"What was it?" she asked. She looked as though she hated asking him – he hated the fact she needed to ask. He wished she could trust him. He knew why she didn't and he knew he was going to have to prove that he wasn't hiding anything from her.

"I was going through withdrawal and I was a mess," he said. "I was being a jerk to her. Blaming her for everything and – and then I tried to make things worse. I hate remembering myself like that."

She leaned over and kissed him gently.

"You didn't kill her, did you?" he asked. "Everything okay?"

"_Da_, it is okay," Linka sighed. "I am tired."

"Me too." He wrapped his arms around her and dragged her into the middle of the bed, settling beside her.

"_Nyet_, I need to undress," she whispered. Her body was heavy and comfortable on the mattress. Wheeler shifted his body against her, curving her back to his front. He reached around her and let his fingers graze the smooth skin of her stomach before he unbuttoned her jeans.

She blinked, feeling a little more awake at the touch of his hands against her skin. She lifted her hips and let him slide the thick material down her legs, letting her jeans crumple in a heap on the floor.

"They will wrinkle," she protested half-heartedly.

"It's all the fashion," he promised, tracing his fingertips up her bare leg. He continued over the curve of her thigh and the swell and dip of her hip and her waist, pushing her t-shirt up her body. She rolled onto her back and looked up at him, lifting her arms as though to encourage him to pull the cotton t-shirt away from her skin.

He eased it away from her, smiling when her hair loosened as he pulled the material over her head. He kissed her gently and she moved her hands over his shoulders and into his hair, feeling nervous about lying in front of him in her bra and briefs.

"I love you," he breathed, moving his hands over her skin.

She arched against his touch, enjoying the gentle feel of his palms over her stomach and her ribs. "I love you too," she whispered. She leaned up and kissed him again. When her back lifted from the mattress he reached beneath her and unsnapped her bra, tossing the flimsy material to the floor and covering her breasts with his hands.

"You okay?" he whispered.

She nodded and he swept his fingers gently against her skin, her nipple a firm point under his palm.

"You wanna sleep?" he asked softly, kissing her neck.

She nodded again and he kicked out of his jeans and pulled the sheet over her, curling around her and placing kisses against her shoulder and the back of her neck. He kept his hand cupped over her breast and she reached up and laced her fingers into his, holding him to her and wriggling back against him.

"Wheeler?" she asked tiredly.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I know the heroin was a terrible thing to happen to you," she said softly. "But the man that made it through is the man I love."

He smiled and held her tightly. "Only made it through because –"

"Because of Gi," Linka interrupted. "I am glad she was there for you. I am glad you had someone. And I am glad you were there for her." She paused, and drew in a deep breath. "I forgive you both."

"Oh, baby..." He sighed against her skin and nuzzled her neck, closing his eyes. "We're all gonna be okay."

xXx


	18. Worry

Linka unwound her scarf and tossed it over the top of the coat-rack by the front door. "Viktor?"

The house was silent but the lights were on. She proceeded into the living room, growing worried when he didn't respond to her voice. "Viktor?"

"Here."

She jumped and then laughed at her nervousness. "You didn't answer me."

He stood straight, standing away from the wall where he had been leaning and watching her. "I had no idea where you were, all day."

She blinked. "I went to the library," she said. "Is something wrong?"

When he came at her she was so surprised she didn't even try to defend herself. She doubled over at the blow to her stomach, sinking to her knees with a soft cry of pain and shock.

"This is exactly why everyone leaves you, Linka," he snapped, hauling her to her feet again.

Her knees buckled and she clutched at her stomach, tears of fright spilling down her cheeks. She gasped, trying to answer him and plead with him to stop.

"I'm all you have left, remember?" he asked furiously. "You keep disappearing on me without telling me where you're going and I'm going to leave you too. And then what will you be left with? Hm? Nobody!" He shoved her hard and she toppled helplessly against the sofa, landing on the cushions in a tangle of arms and legs. She scrambled away from him, curling into a ball.

"Think about it!" he snarled, gripping her upper arm and tugging her towards him so she was forced to look up into his eyes. "Think about what I've given you. You had nothing before you met me. Remember? And now Mishka won't even talk to you. He never calls you, does he? He never responded to your emails. He doesn't care about you, Linka. He cut you loose, just like everyone else. You're _lucky _to have me, and yet you think you can just laze around reading books all day?"

"I wasn't!" she gasped. "Stop! You're hurting me!"

He shook her fiercely, gripping her arms in his hands. "You'd better start behaving yourself," he whispered. "Or I'll leave and you'll have no job and no place to live, Linka. What will you do then? Who will you turn to if I leave you?"

She blinked up at him tearfully. "Stop," she whispered. "Please don't."

"I love you and I want what's best for you," he said gently, easing his grip. "You can't just disappear without telling me where you're going. I was worried about you. I know you have no one, Linka. I know how difficult things are for you. I was worried." He kissed her gently and stroked her hair. "Why don't you go and have a shower?" he asked, sliding his fingertips down her arms and taking her hands. "You'll feel better." He kissed her again and stroked away her tears with his thumbs.

Her mind whirled. For a moment she thought she might faint. She had no idea what had just happened. Viktor had never been violent before – she'd only ever heard him raise his voice once, on the phone to someone trying to undo one of his employment deals. She trembled, not knowing what had sparked this sudden change in him.

"Go and shower," he prompted softly. "Go on, Linka. I'll make dinner. I've been so worried about you all day... Why didn't you tell me where you were going?"

"I didn't know I had to," she hiccupped, her eyes wide.

"But you're so alone here," he whispered. "We've only just moved here and you've only just started your new job. You don't have any friends and everyone seems to be abandoning you... I was so worried about you today."

She sobbed and he hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her face, brushing his lips across her cheek and murmuring softly in her ear.

"It'll be all right, Linka," he said. "I'm here, okay?"

She crumbled, then. He was right. He was all she had. Mishka's contact had been dwindling for a long time now, and she hadn't heard from him at all since moving to Moscow. She'd sent him countless emails, all of which remained unanswered. He never answered his phone, either. She wasn't sure what she had done wrong, but first Gi and Wheeler had turned their backs on her, and now Mishka.

She sobbed into Viktor's shoulder. "I'm sorry you were so worried about me," she wept. "I didn't think you'd mind."

"Just let me know where you are, okay?" he asked, running his hand smoothly over her back. "I want to know where you are so I don't have to worry about you."

She nodded miserably and he eased away from her.

"Go and have a shower, Linka. You'll feel better."

She wiped her eyes and left him, leaning against the closed bathroom door, wishing there was a lock. She was certain there used to be a lock. She turned and checked. She could still see the mark in the wood and the screw-holes from the bolt that had been there when they'd moved in. She wasn't entirely sure when Viktor had removed it.

_I have nowhere to hide,_ she thought in alarm. She stood in front of the mirror and pulled her shirt over her head. The marks on her arms were already swelling to an ugly blue – she could see the shapes of his fingers on her skin. Her stomach ached when she moved, though she could see no indication of his blow there yet. Yet.

She ran the shower, filling the bathroom with steam before she'd even fully undressed.

There was a sharp rap on the door, and she jumped.

"Don't take too long!" Viktor barked.

She sank to the floor, but he didn't appear interested in coming in. She gave a sob, knowing that she couldn't stay and suffer this. Knowing that she didn't deserve it and knowing that something in Viktor had snapped and changed and there was no way back from it now.

But she had nowhere to go. She was alone.

xXx

Linka awoke with a gasp, waking Wheeler in the process.

"What?" he mumbled, forcing his eyes open and trying to focus. "What's goin' on? What time is it?"

He soon realised Linka was sweating and breathless, and afraid.

"Nightmare, babe?" he asked, feeling more awake instantly. He reached out to brush her hair back and she flinched.

"I need a drink," she gasped, scrambling away from him and heading for the bathroom.

He waited for a moment, listening to her running the water and splashing her face. After a short while he got up and checked in on her. She was slumped over the sink, her face and her hair wet. She hadn't pulled on any extra clothing in her haste – all she wore was thin cotton briefs around her hips. He ran his eyes over the smooth skin of her back, relieved that the sharp bones he was so accustomed to were almost entirely concealed again.

"You okay, babe?" he asked softly.

She shook her head and he could see her trembling.

He approached her cautiously and ran his hand over her back. "What happened?" he asked. "Viktor?"

She nodded and he turned her and put his arms around her. She tucked her arms up against his chest and closed her eyes.

"I can't share everything," she whispered in Russian. "I don't want to tell everyone what happened to me."

"You don't have to," he answered quietly, sticking to English and running his fingers through her hair. "They'll understand."

She shook her head and a sob escaped. "Ma-Ti and Kwame both –"

"Things are different for everyone," he soothed. "Babe, you know we're not gonna force you to do anything you don't want to, don't you? You don't have to do it if it's too hard."

She sniffed and looked up at him.

"Really," he promised, kissing the end of her nose. "If it's too hard, you don't have to. But you might feel better to get it all out there."

She rubbed at her eyes and suddenly realised just how naked she was. She crossed her arms over her chest, flustered, and he grinned and stripped his shirt over his head, helping her into it.

_For a moment he sees flashes in front of his eyes, and hears rain and screaming. A sharp pain in his side from running so fast and so far, and Linka pinned to a concrete floor, half her clothes torn off and useless. He launches himself at Clayton, punching and scrambling and swearing. When the gang leader's finally gone Wheeler pulls his sweatshirt off and helps Linka into it, covering her bruised and scratched skin. Knowing it's his fault it all happened anyway._

He blinked, the memories gone. The night was warm and quiet again. He breathed slowly and wrapped his arms around Linka again, her breath warm against his naked chest.

"I am not sure if I would feel better afterwards or not," Linka said miserably. "I am embarrassed."

Wheeler curled his fingers slowly against the back of her neck. "Don't be," he said softly. "We're your friends. We'll understand."

She looked up at him. "I could tell you, I think," she said softly. "I would feel better talking to you."

He rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "So just talk to me," he whispered. "Forget the others are there."

She nodded and let him sweep her up and take her back to bed, pulling the sheets around her securely. He kissed her and stroked her hair gently until she'd finally accepted sleep again, her breath slow and peaceful.

xXx

Gi looked up as Wheeler and Linka entered the kitchen the next morning. She looked exhausted.

"Didn't you get any sleep?" Wheeler asked in concern.

"A little bit," she said. "I kept waking up." She shifted her eyes to Linka and gave her a nervous smile. "Hi."

Linka gave her an equally-nervous smile. "Hello."

"Coffee," Wheeler sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Where are Ma-Ti and Kwame?"

"Ma-Ti is out there somewhere, meditating," Gi said, waving vaguely towards the kitchen garden. "Kwame is still in bed."

"He is usually the first one up," Linka said anxiously. "Has anybody checked on him?"

"He's probably just exhausted," Wheeler answered, spilling coffee granules across the counter as he trailed the spoon to his mug.

Linka winced. "You are making a mess."

"I'll clean it up," he said. "Anyone else want one?"

"_Da,_ I do," Linka said. "But I am going to go and see if Kwame is all right. It is getting late and if we are going to have another day like yesterday, we should remember time gets away on us."

She left Wheeler and Gi in the kitchen, forcing herself to relax about it and focus instead on Kwame.

She knocked gently on his door. "Kwame?"

He was sitting on the end of his bed, showered and dressed, when she let herself in a moment later. He smiled at her.

"I am still here," he said.

She gave a nervous laugh. "I am glad. Are you all right?"

He nodded and looked down at the floor. "Just tired."

"I think everyone is," she said, sitting beside him. "I am sorry you had to relive everything, yesterday."

"I think it helped," he said softly. "Getting it all out. Sharing it with other people. I have never spoken of that last time with Makena before. I feel as though I have split the weight of it."

Linka took his hand and squeezed it. "Come and have breakfast," she said. "Wheeler is making coffee and I am sure it will taste terrible, but it will wake you up."

He chuckled and got to his feet, pulling her up gently. "How did you sleep last night?" he asked. "I saw you on the beach, making a call. Is everything okay?"

"I was speaking with Mishka," she said. "I had bad dreams last night, but I think Gi and I have made some important steps forward."

"I am glad," Kwame said softly. "I hope the two of you can be friends again. Things will not be the same without the two of you giggling and conspiring against the three of us."

Linka laughed and gave him a gentle shove. "It was usually you boys who started it."

"Wheeler," Kwame correctly swiftly. "Practical joke wars were always started by Wheeler."

"_Da,_ okay," she agreed.

Kwame grinned and rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh, breathing in the sweet air of the jungle as they strolled along the path. "I feel different," he said. "Hope Island has allowed me to think clearly."

"I know what you mean," Linka said. "Things are different here."

He nodded and wrinkled his nose. "Can you smell smoke?"

They stopped as they emerged out of the trees, looking towards the kitchen.

"That will be our Fire Planeteer," Linka sighed, "Trying to cook toast."

xXx

"I would like to go first, if nobody minds," Linka said softly.

They were all sitting around The Deck again. The day was bright and clear and the breeze swept in off the ocean, carrying salt and sweetness with it.

Wheeler took her hand and she took a deep breath.

"I am not sure how long I will talk," she admitted. "I have not exactly been busy, these past ten years. I got up each morning and went to work and came home again in the evening. Viktor is really the only person I ever associated with, and you all know by now what sort of person he was and how I got away from him..." She glanced at Wheeler and then lowered her eyes, feeling uncomfortable as the others shifted slightly around her.

"When I got home, I was a mess," she admitted. "The end of the Planeteers and the way it happened devastated me. I know it was my decision to go home, but I regretted it almost immediately. I missed Hope Island and I missed all of you... I felt very foolish."

Gi and Wheeler were both pale and looked guilty, but they were silent, and Linka was grateful. She didn't want to start an echoing round of tears and apologies. She just wanted to get everything out into the open.

"I spent the first month in my room, sleeping and crying a lot and not eating very much," she admitted. "Mishka was the one who brought me to my senses by taking some time from work to sit with me and talk and make sure I got out for fresh air. I began to take him lunch every day.

"One day there was a small collapse in the mine. Nobody was hurt, but Mishka was very angry and worried. He had asked the company to stabilise that particular shaft many times, but they had refused. There was an investigation launched, and that is how Viktor came to our town."

xXx

Linka rolled her eyes as a group of giggling schoolgirls whispered and eyed Mishka as he walked towards her.

He grinned at her in response. "Hello."

"Hello," she answered, raising her eyebrow. "Do these girls follow you everywhere?"

"Seems like it. Is that my lunch?"

She handed him the sandwich she'd made him that morning. "How's work?"

He grimaced and sat down, motioning for her to sit with him. It was midday but ice and snow still sat in pockets and shadows on the ground.

"We've got a meeting with someone this afternoon," Mishka muttered, chewing his sandwich. "Somebody coming in to review our safety."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Linka asked worriedly.

"Oh, I lost faith in these people a long time ago," Mishka sighed. "They come in and recognise all the flaws in the system but do nothing about them. I'll point out everything I want fixed and they'll make a note of it and tell me it's too expensive before they leave again."

"How can they do that?" she asked incredulously. "Somebody could have been killed in that last collapse."

"I know." He nodded and rubbed his hand over his face. "This guy is coming all the way from St Petersberg. It will be an independent review but I'm sure he's just as corrupt and twisted as the people I'm used to dealing with."

Linka leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Maybe this time will be different."

He nodded. "I hope so."

xXx

"It _was_ different," Linka said, looking around at the Planeteers. "Viktor fixed everything Mishka asked him to. I was so grateful to him... He was very – uh..." She turned to Wheeler with a frown on her face. "_Ocharovaniye_?"

She remembered, suddenly. "Charming," she said. "Charismatic. Everyone liked Viktor."

"Even Mishka?" Kwame asked.

Linka nodded. "At first. But when Viktor offered me a job, Mishka grew suspicious. He told me not to go and I got angry with him. I told him I could make my own decisions and it was time I tried to find other work. Viktor offered me a good opportunity and I did not want to miss it. I left with him and travelled to _Sankt-Peterberg_ but it soon became clear that the job he had described to me was not the job I was there to fulfil."

xXx

"Is something wrong, Linka?"

She looked up from her desk and smiled as she saw Viktor. "No, not really."

"Are you sure?" He glanced around and bent to kiss her quickly.

She smiled up at him, her cheeks flushing gentle pink. He was always reserved in the office, keeping his distance from her. She liked it when he took the time to kiss her or touch her hand on his way past. Nothing too serious or heavy – just something light and sweet that made her heart lift.

"I still have not heard from Mishka," she admitted. "He never replies to my emails."

"It's his loss," Viktor said firmly.

Her heart sank. "I miss him. And I am not sure if this new cell phone you bought me works properly. It crackles all the time and since I got it, Mishka never answers my calls."

Viktor raised his eyebrow. "I think you are reaching for excuses now, Linka," he said. "The truth is, Mishka is being cruel. There's no reason for him to ignore you like this."

"I know, but –"

He cut her off, seeing that she was growing tearful. "Tell you what," he said gently, stroking her hair. "Why don't we go to dinner tonight? Somewhere nice. I have something I want to discuss with you."

"Really?" she asked hopefully. Things between her and Viktor had been a little tense, lately. She'd complained to him several times that her job was basically administration and not much else, and she was growing tired of it. His reaction was to dismiss her concerns and instead tell her to "Wait it out."

"Really," he promised, kissing the top of her head. "We haven't been out in a long time. I've been feeling stressed lately and I think we both need to take some time out together."

"That would be nice," she sighed gratefully.

"Good. Don't worry about Mishka, Linka. You deserve better. I know people have treated you badly in the past, but stick with me and you'll be all right."

"I know." She smiled weakly at him and he kissed her again, squeezing her hand as he left and headed towards his meeting.

She slumped back in her chair. Lately it seemed Viktor was her only friend.

xXx

"So what do you think?" Viktor asked, sipping his water.

Linka chewed her lip. "I am not sure," she admitted. "I need to think about it."

He frowned. "I thought you hated your job here."

"I do, but –"

"This is a good opportunity, Linka," he said. "Aren't you unhappy here? I know it's been hard for you, sweetheart. The people here are all so cold. It's no wonder you don't have many friends. You deserve better than this and I think Moscow will give us both the opportunity to start over."

She thought for a moment. Starting over _did_ sound good. She hadn't really considered how alone she was, but Viktor was right. She wasn't sure what she was doing wrong, but none of the other women in the office ever invited her anywhere. She'd heard whispers of some of them chasing Viktor around behind her back, and the thought made her bristle. She missed having a girlfriend to talk to. She missed having someone to turn to when she was upset. All she had was Viktor. Surely things in Moscow would be better.

"Why not?" she said suddenly, smiling at him. "Things will get better for us if we start anew, right?"

"Of course they will," he said warmly, taking her hands in his own. "I love you, Linka. I'll look after you. You know that, don't you?"

"I know," she said, smiling at him. "I love you too."

xXx

"After we moved to _Muskva_ I did not hear from Mishka at all. I sent him my address many times, but he never received it. I am sure now that Viktor restricted my contact with him and I was just too stupid to see it."

Wheeler squeezed Linka's hand. "He was a charming guy," he said softly. "You said it yourself. People trusted him. You're not stupid for wanting to believe he was a good person, Linka."

"Nobody ever suspected anything?" Kwame asked softly. "What about your bruises?"

"He never hit me where people would see," she said. "Sometimes he hit me very badly and I had to take time off from work, but he always had an excuse. He was confident and popular. I was not. People believed every word he said and I was ignored. I knew nobody would believe me."

She dashed a tear away on the back of her hand. "I planned several times to leave him," she said. "But I did not believe I had anyone else to turn to. And sometimes he would treat me wonderfully. Sometimes I really believed he did love me and that things would be better. That he would stop being violent and he would treat me better. But it never lasted.

"He was very clever. He knew what to say to me so I would give up. He knew how to keep me in a state of need..." She shook her head and spoke tearfully. "Sometimes I was terrified he would leave me as well, and then I would have no one. Sometimes I believed it was better to have the bruises and have Viktor beside me, than to be truly alone."

She shrugged uncomfortably. "Wheeler came to find me... For the first time in years it felt as though somebody else _did_ care. Viktor had convinced me that I was alone..." She took Wheeler's hand without looking for it, and he gave her fingers a gentle squeeze.

She shook her head tiredly. "It was hard for me to believe he was lying when there was so much proof to support him."

"I know it felt that way, Linka," Ma-Ti said gently, speaking up for the first time. "But please don't ever let someone make you feel that way again. We will _always_ be here for you. Always."

The others agreed immediately and she was helpless to stop tears falling down her face as all of them leaned over and embraced her, trapping her gently in a warm tangle of arms.

She smiled and felt Wheeler kiss the top of her head. When they all pulled away again she wiped her tears and drew a deep breath.

"I think I have said everything I can," she breathed. "I know it does not seem like much, but my life has not been so exciting..." She paused, and frowned. "It was terrible, but very simple. Not much has happened to me other than Viktor."

"We know it was hard to talk about, Linka," Kwame answered gently, and she gave a soft sigh of relief, taking his words as a sign that her time to talk was over.

Wheeler and Gi glanced at one another. They were the only ones left. She gave him a slight shrug and he drew a shaky breath.

There were things he knew he'd have to mention and he could feel his stomach dancing crazily with nerves. It wasn't the thought of talking about the heroin – they all knew about that already.

There was something he was afraid of talking about in front of Linka, and he felt slightly ashamed that it was causing him to feel guilty and uncomfortable. He'd mentioned it to her briefly, once or twice, but something told him now that he was going to have to explain it to her in more detail.

He hoped it wouldn't change things between them.

xXx


	19. Answers to Find

Wheeler gazed down at the small bulk of his mother's body beneath the hospital bed sheet. He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there, but he wasn't ready to move yet.

It was hardly fair. Three months after being sent home from Hope Island and his mother had finally convinced him to start thinking positively again and try and take a few steps forward with finding a job – and then the word Cancer, with a capital C, had come into their lives and she'd been rapidly reduced to nothing but thin skin stretched across frail bones.

It had been quick, and for that he was rather thankful, but it had still been difficult. His mother had never really been one to fight back, and the cancer seemed to recognise that fact and take full advantage. It only took eight weeks from the diagnosis before she took one last, rattling breath and her chest stilled completely.

They had known, since hearing about the cancer, that it was too late to do anything.

Wheeler had been named for his father, but he liked to think that their names were the only similarity they shared. Nick had simply retreated further into the darkness of his bedroom with his bottles of liquor, emerging only when his supply ran low. Wheeler had tried several times to get him to visit Kitty in the hospital, but to no avail.

Towards the end, when she grew confused, he found himself telling her gentle lies.

"_He was here before, Ma. Remember? He smelled like whisky today and he complained about the cold." _

And she'd smile and nod, a flicker of joy and recognition passing through her eyes as a false memory blissfully hid her mental anguish.

Wheeler scratched his cheek and turned on his heel, unable to offer a vocal farewell to his mother's body. He wasn't sure what the point of that would be anyway, but he still felt guilty as he left the room without saying anything.

There was paperwork to deal with. Bills. The issue of what to do with his mother's body, and the funeral to arrange. He pushed it all out of his mind, blind with grief and guilt and despair. He let his feet carry him home with remembered footsteps of habit.

His father was slumped in an armchair in the living room, watching baseball and grumbling to himself under his breath. A half-empty bottle of scotch was clutched in his hand and Wheeler knew he'd been sipping at it all morning. The reek of it was thick in the air, sharp and hot.

He closed the door softly and went into the kitchen to lean against the sink. There were dishes piled there and he ran soapy water over them and stacked them in the rack, his body going through the motions of ordinary domestic duties as though nothing had happened at all. As though Kitty could walk through the door at any moment, dodge past her husband's cussing and start unloading groceries into the refrigerator.

"When's she comin' home?"

Wheeler turned at the sound of the slurred speech to find his father standing in the doorway.

"She's not," he said.

Nick sneered. "Doctors think they know everything."

Wheeler dried his hands carefully, noticing that his fingers were trembling. "She died, Dad. She's gone."

He turned back to the sink, and it was only the slightest movement to the left which allowed the bottle to sail past him and smash against the cupboards instead of the back of his head. He ducked, and glass and scotch rained down on him.

Nick had already turned his back and was shuffling towards the bedroom, weaving only slightly.

Wheeler let himself out into the hall and sank to the floor by the stairwell, leaning his back against the wall and listening to the kids on the floor below shout and argue as they played marbles on the worn carpet.

He was too empty to cry.

xXx

She was buried, but it wasn't over yet. Wheeler stood and shook hands and accepted soft kisses on the cheek from people who claimed to be friends of his mother.

He wasn't ever aware of her having friends. Certainly none of them had helped to get her out of the hellhole she'd been kept in all those years. There had been no offers to hide her or Wheeler, even as a young child, from Nick Armstrong's violence or drinking. They had been alone, together, while all these people simply moved around them and looked the other way, pretending not to notice the bruises or the trembling fingers or frightened looks in their eyes.

He murmured his thanks to all of them, and in his mind he shouted at them for not being there for Kitty when she needed them. Each shout echoed and reverberated through him and he felt an icy, awful truth each time, pumping through his veins with his blood.

_I wasn't there for her either. I went to the Planeteers, and look where that got me. I ruined their lives and I ruined Mom's life. Way to go, Wheeler. Way to go._

As it grew dark, people started to leave, and he found himself on the roof of his building, clutching his cell phone in his hand.

He sank to the ground and leaned his back against the side of an air-conditioning unit before he hit dial, prayers he had no memory of on his lips as he raised the phone to his ear.

But it was the same message. He knew it word-for-word now. He knew that her voice shifted slightly in pitch when she said her name, and the message always promised him that she'd call back, but she never did. He was growing certain that she never even checked them, and he was sure that her message bank was filling up with short, two-second clips of him swallowing and stuttering before he hung up.

"Hey," he said softly at the tone. "Listen... I know you don't want to talk to me, Linka... But I sure as hell need to talk to you..." His voice cracked and he gave a sudden sob. "I don't know what to do anymore. I need help. I'm sorry for what I did to you, but _please..._ I need you to call me back because things just aren't right here and I don't think I can keep going like this." He drew his knees up and rested against them, curling his body into a ball. "Please call me back, babe," he whispered. "Call me and yell at me. Tell me you hate me... I just need to know you're still out there somewhere. I need to know that this isn't all I have left."

When he hung up he rocked himself back and forth slowly, listening to his breath jerk and gasp as he cried.

When his phone lit up in his hand his heart stopped and he leapt to his feet, flicking the screen open to see the message.

It was Gi. Wondering if he was okay and why he wasn't answering her text messages or her emails. Letting him know she was there for him and she didn't want to lose him.

He hurled his phone at the ledge running around the roof and it hit and shattered hard, scattering plastic across the rooftop.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he roared up at the sky. "Why are you pointing her at me instead of Linka? It's not her I want!"

He sank to his knees and sobbed. He was at the end of his tether.

xXx

Linka's face was wet, and the grip she had on Wheeler's hand was painful. "I never listened to those messages," she whispered softly. "I turned that phone off and I abandoned it. I never checked it and I am sorry..." She sobbed and Wheeler wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple.

Gi hastily swiped at her own eyes, and Ma-Ti looked suspiciously misty-eyed as well.

"I had no idea it was so difficult for you, Wheeler," Kwame whispered. "I thought you needed space... I did not know about your mother. When you didn't answer any of our calls or our emails, I thought..." He shook his head and lowered his gaze. "I am sorry I did not try harder," he said.

"No, none of you are to blame," Wheeler answered firmly. "I cut myself off because I was so guilty about what I'd done. I convinced myself that you all hated me and it was best for me to just separate myself from you. And after a while I convinced myself that even if I wanted to call you, it was too late. That I'd done too much damage and that it was all irreparable. That I couldn't go back. I was alone."

He shrugged, and ran his hand up and down Linka's arm as she sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"I left my dad's place a couple of days later," he said. "Told him I was done. He swore at me – said he was the only family I had left..." He glanced around at them. "And he was right. Because I'd torn the Planeteers apart. The only _real_ family I'd ever had."

He drew in a shaky breath. "I left him there. Told him he was going to die alone. And he did, a few months later. But by that time I was so wound up in the grip of heroin, the news of his death hardly registered. I'd moved in with some people I'd known at high school, and their lives were just as shitty as mine. They'd all turned to drugs, and I resisted for a few months, but being surrounded by it... Seeing the way they forgot their problems when they were high..." His voice cracked. "It got too much to resist."

xXx

Coming down was, of course, the worst part. When he grew sober enough to realise what he was doing to himself and how powerless he felt, he wanted to throw himself off a ledge.

He had seriously contemplated it several times, but deep down, he knew he would never try it. He had weaknesses and vulnerabilities – so many of them, now – but he was still Wheeler, somewhere in there, and Wheeler wanted to get back on his feet.

He gazed up at the ceiling, frowning and trying to figure out why everything was so tilted and awry.

"You awake?" Anthony leaned over him with a grin. "I got your next fix."

"Don't want it," Wheeler whispered, closing his eyes again.

"That's what you said last time, man. You lasted two days before you were at my door beggin' for it. So just take it, yeah?" He tucked the packet into Wheeler's shirt pocket. "You got money?"

Wheeler waved towards the mantelpiece and listened to Anthony sifting through bills and papers for the cash Wheeler was certain he'd left there.

"Man, you runnin' out of money," Anthony said. "I ain't a charity case, so unless you get some more cash sorted, that's it from me. Yeah?"

Wheeler just half-murmured a syllable in response, feeling the world spinning slowly around him.

Anthony snorted and Wheeler heard his door slam.

He opened his eyes slowly, and they were wet and his chest quivered as he held back sobs. He sat up slowly and dug around in his pocket, withdrawing the packet Anthony had left him with.

He didn't want it.

But he knew that he'd need it, in a day or so, because without it he could remember everything, and that wasn't what he wanted at all.

He wanted to forget.

xXx

"I used it," Wheeler admitted softly. "That last packet. And I'm not sure what changed, but..." He shrugged and shifted his eyes to Gi. "I called Gi for help, afterwards. I don't know what it was that told me to do it, but it saved me. Gi saved me."

"You did it yourself," she insisted. "There was nothing I could do except support you through it."

"That's all I needed," he said desperately. "All along, I just needed support from someone." He shook his head and frowned, thinking.

"Trish got in touch just before Gi left," he said to the others. "I thought she'd given up on me, but I think she'd heard about me trying to go straight. She gave me another chance and hooked me up with a job at an environmental newsletter. I was hopeless at it, at first, but it was something to keep me busy. I was so grateful... I was there for three years before I started feeling restless again."

xXx

"Oh, for God's sake..." Trish pushed the plastic spider off her chair with a grimace and heard Wheeler snicker behind her.

"Might have known it was you," she said, turning and grinning at him. She sank into her chair. "What do you want?"

"Not much." He sat opposite her and stretched his long legs out, propping his feet up on her desk. "Did you read the article?"

"I did."

"What did you think?"

She glanced up at him again. He was feigning indifference, toying with a slinky she kept on her desk, but he was deliberately avoiding her eyes and she knew he was nervous about what she was going to say.

"I really liked it, Wheeler. It's really good."

He looked up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She grinned. "You should send it to one of those other journals you read. Don't just lock yourself to the newsletter when –"

He looked annoyed. "Why? I told you I'm not –"

"You _are_ good enough," she interrupted. "Why the hell do you think I've been encouraging you to keep writing all this time?"

"To keep me busy," he muttered, lifting and dropping the slinky in his hands.

"That too," she admitted. "But I really think you could be paid more for this. Mark's given you some really good help through the newsletter and I think your writing deserves a bigger audience. Why don't you at least _try_ to get published in a bigger publication? It won't kill you."

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but feel secretly pleased.

"Anyway, it's always refreshing reading something not peppered with spelling errors," she said, gazing down at the student papers scattered across her desk.

"Technology, Trish," he said, stretching. "Thank God for spell-check."

She grinned and clicked open her email. "Why are you here, anyway? I thought high schools gave you the horrors."

"They do," he muttered. "But I've got nothing else to do today so I thought I'd come and see you during your lunch hour. You've got paint in your hair, by the way."

She reached up and touched her ponytail, looking annoyed when she felt crusted red paint in her hair. "Yuck. Well, I can't go out for lunch today. I've got papers to grade. Sorry."

He shrugged. "It's okay."

She looked up at him. "Sure you're all right?"

The familiar resentment swept across his face again. "I'm fine."

"I'm only asking," she said patiently. "I'll see you after school. I promise."

"Okay," he sighed. "Thanks for reading the article."

She smiled at him and he left, feeling frustrated and rather lacklustre – a combination he didn't care for.

Three years clean. It was supposed to be easier, by now.

If he thought about it, it was. It wasn't a craving or an addiction-like feeling that led him to thoughts of heroin. But the nightmares had never really stopped and his lowest moments were always when he was alone. Writing for the newsletter was a nice distraction, but he had adjusted to the workload and the requirements now, and he wasn't finding it enough to keep him exhausted anymore.

Earlier, the stress and satisfaction of scribbling notes or hammering out an article had allowed him to fall into bed and into heavy sleep. Now he found it easier to write and that meant he suddenly had more time on his hands. Time he didn't know what to do with.

He lit a cigarette once he was out on the street, letting the smoke trail over his shoulder as he walked along. It was overcast and cool, but not unpleasantly so.

He kicked an aluminium can along the sidewalk, listening to it rattle and skip across the concrete.

_Don't pick it up._

He walked by, leaving it on the sidewalk, and felt the familiar pang of guilt before it was replaced with fierce defensiveness. No matter how small the action, if it reminded him of the Planeteers, it hurt too much. Working for an environmental newsletter and using words like _ecosystem _and _environment_ and _pollution_ had left him with a constant three-year headache and queasiness he hadn't been able to shake. He rebelled against it with small, petty acts as though to send the message: _I'm not a Planeteer_. In some ways, focusing on such pettiness made it easier to avoid focusing on the bigger issues.

Even then, he had a desperate sense of restlessness, and he often awoke drenched in sweat, terrified that the smallest occurrence of bad luck would send him down the wrong path again.

xXx

Wheeler's footsteps echoed up the corridor of the community centre. Outside, rain hammered down, and the night was dark and cold. He figured he should call a cab, rather than walk home, but he froze as a dull thud sounded from one of the nearby classrooms and there was a mutter of annoyance that sent a deadly shock of recognition down his spine.

"_Bozhe moy..._"

He found himself drawn to the voice, and he firmly told himself that there was no possibility of it being Linka. He couldn't help his heart flutter with hope, however.

It wasn't Linka.

She was blonde, whoever she was, but she wasn't Linka. This woman was tall, though at that moment she was kneeling on the floor gathering up toppled textbooks. Her hair was braided neatly into a golden line down her back, and she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with an image of Cheer Bear the Care Bear splashed across the front.

She looked up in alarm as she sensed Wheeler's presence.

"Sorry," he blurted, aware that he'd been staring. "I heard a noise. Need any help?"

"Oh, no thanks." She smiled at him and got to her feet. Her voice was American and he wasn't sure whether he should feel disappointed or relieved. "Are you looking for a class? They finished a while ago..." She seemed a little nervous, and he suddenly realised that being in the building so late did seem rather suspicious.

"No, my office is down the hall," he said, waving his hand down the corridor. "I work for one of the newsletters here."

"Oh," she said. She laughed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to treat you so suspiciously."

He grinned and shrugged, watching as she hefted the books into her arms. He could see an English-to-Russian dictionary and he decided to treat his curiosity.

"You spoke Russian before," he said, offering the phrase tentatively.

"Oh, yeah," she said, flicking her braid back over her shoulder. "I teach it here three nights a week. And at the high school down the street."

"You do?" he asked in alarm. "Do you know Trish?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Yeah. How do you know Trish?"

Conversation flowed easily after that. He walked her to her car, and she shivered and complained about leaving her jacket at home. She said she spoke French as well, and to prove it (and to impress him) she rattled off a wonderfully-flowing paragraph of speech that left him with a funny lightness in his stomach.

"I'm Amy," she said, looking up at him from the front seat of her car as she turned the engine. "I'm guessing you're Wheeler."

"Uh, yeah." He grinned, a little embarrassed that they'd spoken for ten minutes without introductions. "How'd you know that?"

"Trish talks about you a lot," Amy said, grinning up at him. Rain flecked down through the spindly tree Wheeler was standing under. He was growing increasingly cold and damp.

"Great," Wheeler muttered.

"All good stuff," Amy promised. "The newsletter, your work for the environment. I thought you were her boyfriend for a really long time."

He grinned and shook his head. "Not since we were sixteen."

She laughed, and put the car into reverse, preparing to back away and go home. "I'll see you later, Wheeler."

"Yeah?"

She smiled at him. "Yeah."

xXx

Wheeler shifted uncomfortably. Talking about Amy was what he'd been so nervous to talk about in front of Linka.

He couldn't explain the way he'd felt about her. Amy was like a hurricane of sunshine – always bright and breathless, laughter and acceptance spilling out of her every pore. When he'd told her about the heroin she'd listened carefully and asked him questions, and then had simply accepted it as part of him. She'd told him it explained things – like the way he shifted so restlessly in his sleep, or the hollow look he held in his eyes. She had asked him once what he was running from, and he had told her there were too many things for him to name.

"Amy settled me," he said softly, still running his hand over Linka's upper arm. "It had taken me five years to allow someone new in, and once I had, I found it easier. Breathing was easier. Things started looking up. Suddenly I began to think that maybe I could move forwards, instead of fall backwards. She gave me the confidence that Gi and Trish had been trying to give me for years.

"I can't explain how. Amy was different. And I loved her and I really wanted it to work, because she made everything so wonderful. But once I started feeling strong again, I began to realise that I had to face some of the things I'd tried to bury. And so I started to think about Linka, and that undid my relationship with Amy and led me to Russia."

xXx

"You were talking in your sleep again last night," Amy whispered, leaning over him so her hair fell and curtained him from the morning sunshine peering through the bedroom window.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Did I keep you awake?"

She ran her fingertips along his jaw, but she didn't answer him. When he opened his eyes, she was frowning and her eyes were fixed on the patterned bed linen.

"What's the matter?" he asked softly.

Her frown grew, and she shifted uncomfortably. "I think I'm going to go visit my folks for a while," she said after a moment.

Her parents lived in Connecticut. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't far away at all.

"You okay?" he asked. Fear began to grow in the pit of his stomach, and it wasn't caused by what she was saying, but rather the look on her face as she was saying it. She looked upset and resigned, something he had never seen from her before.

She finally shifted her eyes to his, and the ache he saw in them made his heart pulse painfully.

"You need to figure things out, Wheeler," she said softly. "I don't think I'm enough."

"Yes you are," he said fiercely, clutching her. "You are."

She buried her face in his neck and sighed. "Don't," she whispered. "It'll be okay. I promise."

"Oh, God, don't leave me," he whimpered, terror rising up in him. "I can't be alone, Amy. I can't handle being along. Bad things happen to me when I'm alone..."

"You're not alone, babe," she whispered to him.

Even the word _babe_ sent a pang through his heart, and a small voice inside him spoke up. _She's right. I have to go and find Linka._

He smothered the voice desperately and shook his head. "I'll be alone if you leave," he said. "Please, don't. Don't leave me."

She ran her fingers through his hair and snuggled close to him. She didn't say anything else. She let him clutch her tightly, and when his grip finally eased she kissed him and held him close for a long time, promising that she'd always look after him and that he'd never be alone.

But he knew she'd made up her mind to leave.

She knew he had answers to find and that none of them resulted in Wheeler and Amy.

xXx


	20. We're the Planeteers

Dusk was beginning to settle as Wheeler told the others he'd reached his end point. They accepted the closure of his story and patted him on the back or squeezed his hands, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Gi swallowed carefully and glanced around at the others. "Do you guys mind if I... if I don't..." Tears spilled down her cheeks and she forced her next words out in a rushed breath of desperation. "You all know everything anyway – except Linka – and I can talk later, if you want to hear things, Linka, but with Jin's phone call last night, I just can't..." Her voice wailed away to nothing and Ma-Ti slung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him.

"It's okay, Gi," he said comfortingly. "You're right – we kept in touch all these years. Maybe you and Linka can talk later, if you need to share things. We understand it's too hard right now."

"_Da,_ Gi," Linka said softly. "The things I have heard from the others – if you want to wait, that is okay."

Gi shuddered with relief and buried her face in Ma-Ti's shoulder.

Wheeler ran his hand across his jaw. "What happens now, then?" he asked. "Are we all staying here?"

Gi turned her head and blinked wetly at him. "We're the Planeteers, right?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Linka saw Kwame's face twitch. He masked it quickly but she turned to him anyway. "Do you not want to, Kwame?" she asked softly. "I know it will be hard, but..." She trailed off and glanced around at the others before she shrugged. "I would like to try. We are different people. We have shared our stories." She locked her eyes onto Gi. "I know there are still things to talk about. But I do not think we can fix those things in a short time."

"We can work things out, right?" Wheeler asked hopefully, watching Kwame. "I know we messed up. But that mission..." He shook his head. "We'll learn from it, right? It was bad for all of us. We all pulled apart instead of coming together."

Linka glanced at him. _Not all of you had trouble coming together..._

Gi caught her eye and looked away, obviously having the same thought. For a moment both girls doubted they could do this again – but then the moment passed. They breathed, and realised what they wanted.

"I want to be a Planeteer," Gi said, speaking up again.

"_Da_, me too," Linka agreed.

"And me," Wheeler answered immediately.

Ma-Ti gave Kwame a sympathetic smile. "I would like to try again, as well," he said. "Do you trust us, Kwame?"

Kwame looked around at them all desperately. "I cannot lose you all again," he said. "It would destroy me. If we are going to do this, I need you all to promise me that I will have you together, with me. That we would not fracture and break again."

"We promise," Gi said. Her face was still tear-streaked. "We'll take things slow. We'll talk. We'll learn to trust one another again. I just – I don't think we can walk away from one another now. We're together again and that's the way it's _supposed_ to be."

Kwame frowned down at his hands, thinking carefully. "I am not sure I can do it," he said after a moment.

"Kwame..." Linka took his hand in both of hers and sighed. "I do not think we can judge one another from that last mission. We have all changed. We want to make this work." She squeezed his hand gently. "Are you willing to give us a chance?" she asked hopefully. "If we walk away now..." She left her sentence hanging and Kwame looked up at her, knowing what she meant.

If they walked away now, there was little chance of coming back. If they walked away now, they'd never know what might have been.

"Now or never, right?" Wheeler asked, giving Kwame a nervous grin. "We can't do it without you, man."

Kwame swallowed, and then gave a cautious nod. "Okay," he breathed. "Okay."

xXx

The Planeteers stood nervously in The Crystal Chamber. Linka had tight grips on both Wheeler's hand and Kwame's, and Ma-Ti still had his arm around Gi's shoulders.

"Yo, Gaia!" Wheeler called. "Where are you?"

"Yo, Wheeler," she sighed, entering the room from behind them. "Hello, Planeteers."

Wheeler grinned sheepishly and she smiled back at them all.

"Are you staying?" she asked.

"Is that all right?" Gi asked hopefully. "Do you want us back?"

"Of course I do," Gaia said, chuckling. "You're my Planeteers. You always have been." She patted Gi's shoulder on the way past. "I suppose I should give you your rings back."

Linka felt Kwame's fingers twitch nervously, and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Gaia turned and gave them all a critical look. "You all need to believe in yourselves," she said firmly. "Trust one another and trust _yourselves_. You can do this. I know you can." She fixed her eyes on Kwame for a moment before she addressed them all. "Believe," she said. "You'll all be okay."

They shifted nervously, and she reached for their rings. She handed them out one by one, noting the way they received them and the expressions that flitted across their faces. Kwame looked worried, but he slid his ring onto his finger quickly and clenched his fist, straightening his back a little and lifting his chin, desperately determined.

Linka looked grateful and worried at the same time. She looked down at her ring for a long time before she put it on, and Gaia wished she could say something to reassure her. She knew, however, that reassurance wouldn't come from her – it'd have to come from the others, and Linka would have to trust them.

Wheeler took his ring with nervous excitement. He put it on immediately and sent a small spark up into the air, unable to contain himself. Both Linka and Gi rolled their eyes and Gaia smiled at him.

Gi looked like she wanted to cry when she took her ring. Gaia wasn't entirely sure whether or not they were tears of happiness or not. Gi's fingers trembled and after she'd put her ring on, she took Ma-Ti's hand, seeking calm reassurance.

Ma-Ti was the only one who seemed genuinely happy to have his ring back. He gave a soft sigh of relief and closed his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed with the sudden rush of emotion he could feel from the others. It wasn't entirely pleasant – they were all nervous, and beneath that, there was a heady mix of hope and fear. He hoped it would fade, and quickly. He longed to have the familiar feeling of unity wash over him again. The others were all knotted and tied to him, and he could still feel them resisting one another slightly – with the exception of Wheeler and Linka, who seemed to have an extra tie all to themselves, now. He grinned to himself.

"Are you ready, Planeteers?" Gaia asked, standing in front of the Planet Vision screen.

"A mission?" Kwame blurted in surprise. "So soon?"

"Things didn't stop just because you did," Gaia said with a gentle smile. "Though, things aren't as bad as you might think."

"Are the eco-villains all still out there?" Gi asked.

"In varying degrees," Gaia answered. "Blight is the one I am worried about at the moment."

"Why?" Kwame asked. "What is she doing?"

"I'm not sure," Gaia sighed, "Which is exactly what's worrying me. I can _feel_ it. She's messing with something that's beyond her own control, but she doesn't seem afraid of it backfiring on her."

"It's always all or nothing, with her," Wheeler muttered.

"She's down in Antarctica," Gaia said, waving her hand over the Planet Vision screen. "She's been taking advantage of the untapped natural resources down there, using them to fund her twisted project – whatever it is."

"Well, why don't we pay her a visit?" Wheeler asked with a grin.

"I think you should get some sleep, first," Gaia answered with a smile. "You've all had a long couple of days. I've taken the liberty of having your things brought here. I hope none of you mind."

"What about work?" Gi asked nervously. "Am I going to have to deal with –"

"It's taken care of," Gaia reassured her gently. "Get some sleep, Planeteers."

"Gaia?" Linka blurted suddenly, "What happened to Captain Planet, when we left here?"

Gaia gave her a gentle smile. "I'm sure you'll find he hasn't suffered, when you see him next."

Linka gave a sigh of relief, and sagged against Wheeler a little. She hadn't realised just how worried she had been about Captain Planet.

Kwame turned to them, looking a little nervous. "Gaia is right," he said. "We should all get a good night's rest. I am not expecting our first mission to be easy – with or without Doctor Blight."

"We'll leave first thing in the morning, right?" Ma-Ti asked.

Gi couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Sounds okay to me."

"So long as the sun's up," Wheeler muttered. "I don't do pre-dawn starts."

"You never did," Kwame sighed, a slight grin on his face. "I will see you all in the morning."

Linka grabbed his hand again, tugging at him. "Kwame..."

He looked back at her in surprise.

"Thank you," she whispered. "For giving us a chance. For trusting us."

He looked around at them and nodded, giving a slight shrug. "We are the Planeteers," he said. "There are no other people like the four of you. Like the five of us together." He pulled gently free of Linka's grasp and left, his head bowed, looking thoughtful and slightly worried.

"We're not gonna let him down, right?" Wheeler asked worriedly. "I mean, we'll be okay. Right?"

"Of course we will," Gi answered softly. "We've all been through so much. We all want this to work. I'll do whatever it takes..."

"Me too," Wheeler whispered, looking at Linka.

She bit her lip and looked away. "I want this more than anything," she said. "I have not felt myself since leaving this place. Since returning here, I can remember... I can remember the person I used to be. I miss her. I would like to see if I am able to return to that strength; to that person I used to be."

"You're still her," Wheeler promised, squeezing her hand. "She's still in there."

She gave him a small smile and he kissed her forehead gently.

"I wish you could all feel it," Ma-Ti sighed, smiling at them. "There is nothing to worry about."

"There's so much to lose," Gi said tearfully. "Kwame's right – if we fail again, it'll destroy all of us."

"We won't fail, Gi," Ma-Ti said gently. "We will be okay. It has taken us a long time to reach this point. We have all suffered many battles and made many decisions. We are all strong, and I believe we are united. We will be okay." He smiled reassuringly at them. "I will see you all in the morning."

Gi glanced at Wheeler and Linka once Ma-Ti had departed. "We're okay, right?" she asked in a small voice. "The three of us?"

"Yeah," Wheeler answered, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. "You okay?"

She nodded and looked at Linka. "I know we still have to talk," she said.

Linka nodded. "_Da._ But I do not think we can rush things, Gi. Things between us... They will be right again, I hope. But it is something time has to help us fix. I do not think we can do it quickly."

Gi nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Just know you can trust me, okay?" she said. "You can, Linka. I promise."

Linka nodded, though she found she couldn't look Gi in the eye.

"Let's get some shut-eye," Wheeler said. "I'm beat."

The girls nodded and he put an arm around each of them, walking between them towards their huts. He gave Gi a soft kiss on the top of the head as they reached her hut.

"Sure you're okay?" he asked.

She smiled. "Yeah."

"Don't lose any sleep over him, Gi."

She shook her head with a smile. "I won't. Night, you guys."

"Goodnight," Linka answered softly.

Wheeler took Linka's hand as they continued on up the path to her hut.

"You do not like Jin, do you?" Linka asked.

"I did," Wheeler said. "He just – the things he's done recently..." He shook his head. "Anyway. That's up to Gi to tell. Not me."

Linka leaned her head against his arm. "Will she be okay?"

"I think so," he answered, following her inside. "Hey..." He tugged at her gently, turning her. "The two of you – you'll be okay. You have more in common than you think. But don't let her know I said that."

"Jin and Viktor?" Linka asked in horror. "Did Jin –"

"No," Wheeler answered swiftly. "It wasn't like that. But things always had to go his way and I'm not sure Gi realises just how much she gave up. She got lost too, babe." He combed Linka's hair back with his fingers. "You'll both be okay."

Linka wrapped her arms round his neck. "We both have you," she sighed. "I am sure sometimes I will wish it was just _me_ who had you..."

"It's just you now," he said, grinning down at her with one eyebrow cocked.

"_Bozhe moy_," she muttered. "That is not what I meant."

He chuckled and kissed the end of her nose. "We should get some sleep," he murmured. "We've gotta be Planeteers tomorrow. Full and proper."

She smiled up at him. "_Da_. I cannot wait."

He grinned. "I can't either."

They fell into bed, curling neatly around one another with practised ease, their breath quiet and deep as they relaxed and started to fall asleep.

Linka smiled to herself. Things weren't totally fixed yet – she knew that. The road ahead was still a difficult one. But the future looked brighter now than it had in a long time.

For the first time in ten years, the Planeteers were together, and they had a mission to solve. Together.

xXx


End file.
